I remember when you were still here. When there was no one or nothing more important to you but to make me happy. When all we have was love and understanding. When there was only 'us'. No other 'she' or 'he'.
I remember when we used to walk on the street with your arms on my shoulder and holding each other's hands. The time when even the distance didn't bother us no matter how far we walked. The time when we eat street food and just sit in the corner of the park and enjoy watching kids play in the playground. We used to dream together, planned for how many kids we want and dreamt that one day we'll still be sitting in the same spot watching our kid play.
I remember when we used to do stargazing. We set up a blanket backyard and laid down to watch the moon and stars. We lay there and just hug. I remember, there are times we end up sleeping and wake up 4-5 hours later. It was hilarious.
I remember when we used to cook together. We burnt some, we achieved some. We cook and eat together. I remember you forgot to put the timer on and we end ordering a pizza instead. It was still worth it. The meal was still great.
I remember your funny jokes and how you make daddy jokes sound so funny. I remember those awkward jokes and those annoying ones as well. Ones that almost made us fight if not for your quirky laugh. I love it though.
I remember our movie nights. At how you laugh at me when I try to distract myself by singing happy songs and covering my eyes and ears while horror movies. And how I still insist to watch scary movies despite my style. I also remember you hated watching reality shows cause you never believed it wasn't staged.
I remember our late-night talks. When we just tell stories of how our day went especially when we can't sleep. Or how we read a book together. I miss reading our favorite book. I remember how you make it sound so alive.
I remember how cute you look when you try to be grumpy. I remember how scary you look when you're protecting me from danger. I remember how good you smell. I remember how serene you look when you sleep. You look so innocent yet still remain very manly. I remember how you smile. I remember your laughs, your eyes, your lips, your touch, and your embrace.
And then I remember you walking out. I remember you walking out without looking back. I remember how you were so angry and how I was crying and you didn't care. I remember how cold your stare was. I remember how cold that night was. I remember how dark everything seemed. I wonder how I was left out in the dark. I remember how painful it was. It is.. still painful...
It was something I can never let go of. The happy times. The time when you still loved me. It's hard to cope up. It's hard to move on. Staring at your picture, sitting in the corner of my room. Tears still fall every time. The memory brings pain so deep that even the happy moments hurt so much.
I wish you can hear my cries. I hope you can hear me call your name... Pleading here in my room with no one to hear me but the silhouette of the pillow you used to rest your head with. Wishing to hold your hand. Wishing to feel your warm hug. Wishing that I can go back in time... when there was me and you.