When depression strikes

We all have that moment that we feel sad especially in times of crisis. But when things get all mixed up and nothing seems to be working out okay, some people start to feel depressed. No hope, no faith, just worrying all the time.

As I was told about my condition a few days ago, I was already dealing with other things that I had in my mind. The crisis, my work, the situation, everything. I had been dealing with a lot of things then very devastating news was added. I'm ill.

Things started to be very chaotic in my head. Things started to be worse. Things started to collide. Motivations started to fade. Faith started to collapse.

What have I done wrong? Where did I make a mistake? How come these all happen to me? Why am I feeling this? Is it okay to be like this? Am I gonna get better? Am I gonna go through all these? How will we survive this? Is this ever going to end? What do I need to do now? How will my family live? How are we going to endure? Am I thinking too much? How do I stop this? I need to sleep... I need to think straight. Why can't I sleep? Why am I always eating? Why do I feel so alone? Who am I???! What is my purpose? What's happening????? How do I make this stopppp???!!!

So many questions... questions answered multiple times already, but still no certainty in everything. Questions that fill my head every day- every time I'm awake. They say it's all in the mind. Yes, it's true it's all in the mind, and that's the problem, they are all in the mind.

I'm trying to think of positive things. Sometimes it helps, other times it worsen my thoughts. Praying is what I do. I ask for faith. I think that's all I need for now. Faith and it will all fall in a straight line.

And yes, it does. But there are still times I fail. The doctor said I am not in my worse. They said I have so so much potential in healing. That it's a reaction to stress and I don't have suicidal impressions. And it's not something that is about to make me go insane. But I need to handle my stress properly.

I'm still in the process of healing together with physical healing. I still needs rest. I just wrote this article to help me express my feelings. I have been doing this if I feel the need to. But I do it privately because there are things I need to express privately.

I hope I can be totally healed and so are other people who are in this kind of situation. Don't be ashamed and seek help if you need to. I hope that by writing here and reading all your warm comments, it will help me improve. Thanks.