This is a very popular line. People say this all the time especially to those who experienced cheating firsthand. People who were cheated on or someone they know were cheated. This becomes their way of thinking because of the pain it caused them.
But is it really true? Can someone be something they are so consistently that it will never change? Will once a cheater always be a cheater?
This article will be based on my own experience and the experience of the people I asked about this topic. I have asked some of my friends that were cheated and some who cheated. Let's see what cheaters have to say about this. I think it's only fair that we hear their side of the story as well. I will not disclose whose experience is which. That won't be necessary. I just want to share how they think and what their story is about cheating.
I, myself, have experienced both. I was cheated but then I also tried cheating. So, I can say I have my own opinion about this but I don't want to be bias and sound like a defensive cheater. So I gather some support and asked them what they think about cheating.
I was cheated numerous times. I've been a victim by a cheating friend as well. So I've not been cheated only by a partner but also a friend. But that's a different story. I'm talking about cheating in a romantic relationship. I also once cheated on my past partner. Not that I'm proud of it. But there are things that I thought were the right reasons why I did such things.
So what is cheating? Before we go on with it, let's first recognize what cheating is. Because there are things that, for some people, they consider it cheating but for some, they consider it perfectly normal. Just like in all other things, we all have different views of what cheating is. We all have different emotions towards actions that we consider cheating.
For some people, cheating is when your partner lied to you, when they flirt with other people, when they concealed some texts, conversations, and whatnot. Cheating has a very broad classification. For some people, especially the cheaters, they don't consider it cheating as long as there's no personal physical contact. So, for them, it's okay to text others, flirt with others, and get close to others as long as there's no physical contact. Which is contradicting to other people's definition of cheating. That's when things get chaotic.
People cheat because of so many reasons but when you narrow it down, it's because of discontentment. Whether it be about their partner or themselves. This is the issue. People are not contented with what they receive AND/OR able to give.
I know this person who really really loves cheating. For him, there's just no solid reason. He just loves making out with everyone. He loves making friends and making friends with benefits. He may be loyal for a month but he will, and never fails to come back in cheating. Sometimes, he regrets it, sometimes he just doesn't care. That's how cheating is for him. He said it depends on how deep he feels on that girl. Sometimes, he doesn't effort to cover his cheating. He's arrogant about it. And until now, he hasn't changed yet.
I know someone who was a cheater. Same as the first boy I talked about. He loved cheating. But when he met the girl that he can't imagine losing, he changed. Oh they had some issues about cheating. He cheated on him once or maybe couple of times, but this girl didn't give up on him. She taught him lessons. She even broke up with him. But she also gave him a chance-AGAIN- for the last time. she gave him an ultimatum. Cheat on her again and she's out. Gone.. Will never come back. She didn't fail. He tried hard and was successful. He never cheated again. He's been loyal for more than a decade now.
I also know someone, that gave that ultimatum. She gave his cheating husband one last chance. But then he really can't change. He secretly cheated on her. It comes to a point that she thought he changed until there comes a pregnant friend claiming his husband as the father. Yeah, their friend.
I cheated. I cheated with open of the loyal ex-boyfriends I had. I was just a kid. There was no physical contact. It was more like, I liked talking to this other man more than him. I didn't have a relationship with the other man. But it was also considered cheating as I kept it a secret from him. My reason was... There are no valid reasons actually. I was just a kid, he was just so boring to talk to. There's no excitement when we talk. Maybe because we don't have enough things in common. But I don't mean to brag about this. This is something I'm not proud of. Then we broke up. After that, I find myself with someone who cheated on me. Literally. He was in another relationship while we are in a relationship. It wasn't the greatest feeling. So when I had the opportunity, I cheated on my cheating partner that time. And we broke up because all we do is cheat with each other. But with my husband, since we've been a couple, I never cheated on him. And hopefully, as far as I know, he never cheated on me too. I love him so much to risk the love we share. I am contented. And I don't wanna screw this up. And so does he. He never made me feel like he's gonna screw us up.
So yeah, some people change, some people don't. Cheaters will always be cheater WHEN they're not contented. That's the fact. But when people are contented, they change. Love is more powerful than lust. Love is more powerful than evil. We can't call out all cheaters and tell them people will never change or tell them all people change. The truth is, we all change DEPENDING on our contentment.
So, is it true? Once a cheater always a cheater? The answer is.... did you really read my article? The answer is right there! LoL.
Tell me what you think. Is a cheater always gonna be a cheater?