Is this how I'm gonna end my year?

After months of unfortunate events... after all that's happened.. the pandemic.. the breakdown.. How Am I really gonna end my year today?

This is the last day of the year. A day that we can say goodbye to all the bad things that happened this year. A day when we're supposed to look forward for tomorrow. for the year ahead.

I want to end the year happy. I just want to feel hope for next year. I want to end the year with full of positivity. I want to end the year with someone I can move forward to. I want to end the day with faith.

I feel blessed that with everything that's happening in the world, I can still end the year breathing. I get to end it alive. I feel blessed cause I have all the support I need. I feel blessed because the people I love is still here beside me. I feel blessed because He gives me so much blessings.

I may not have all the things I wanted, but I have all the things and people I need to continue. I have won battles I never thought I can.

I may feel blessed but I'm still human. I still feel weakness. No one knows that I still fight battles and cry like a child when no one can see me. Not that I am ungrateful but because I feel.. I can feel things that hurt me and strength isn't given yet. Maybe He's making me process things first. Or is teaching me things first before he grant me the peace I needed.

It's not much of a pain. Just a little worry I have inside. Not that much of a deal. And before I end this year, I claim that my wish is granted. I claim that everything will fall into place. That when the clock strikes 12, I am newly born with more hope, faith and peace. I claim it.

It's not that I am devastated now, maybe a little bit sad, but not to the point that I'm depressed or any sort. I'm a little sad. Once in a while we all feel this way. Once in a while we are given this feeling to balance our life. Balance is everything. Too much happiness is not good, same with too much sadness. But with a little but of sadness when you feel so happy is okay, I think. And happiness when you've been sad is okay as well, I'm sure.

Nevertheless, I still want to end the year happy and that's what I'm gonna do. With my family, we will look forward to the year to come. 🤗

Happy New Year, Everyone! Whatever your battles are right now, I wish you also win it as I win mine. We can do this in the name of Almighty! Be happy and have faith!