Many people think that being sad is somewhat a sin. When depressed people open up, others say, "that's because you don't pray often..." or sometimes they say, "you're overacting..." This is sad because your emotions are valid. Being not okay is not a sin. Even the most devoted people are not exempted from feeling these emotions. No human is exempted from depression or being sad or struggling.
However, there are ways that we can deal with our struggles. Here are some tips that you can consider when you are in this kind of situation.
Acknowledge your struggles so that healing may begin - for us to really be effective in the process of healing, we need to identify our struggles. We need to label where we are standing right now. Are we hurt, are we stressed, do we feel victimized, are you angry, sad, anxious, embarrassed... ? We need to acknowledge the feelings instead of pretending we don't feel them. Instead of trying to tell ourselves that, "No, that's not what I'm feeling"... Instead of being in denial. Then and then, the healing will begin.
Ask for help - this may not be easy. Sometimes when we ask for help we are shamed. But this is also important. To progress your healing you need someone. You can't do it on your own. As the saying goes, "No man is an island". We need someone that we can be fully honest with. Someone that won't judge us, will understand us and hear us out wholeheartedly. We can also consult professionals like psychologists, psychotherapists, psychiatrists. Remember that asking for help is not shameful. Do not be afraid because this does not make you a bad person. You owe it to yourself to heal.
Grow through what you go through- everything that is hurting you is also healing you. Everything that is struggling you is also teaching you. Don't skip or deny your feelings. Stop running away from it. Stop pretending that your struggles are not happening. This is the time where in you can rebuild your self-esteem, self-worth, and self-love. If you're feeling empty, allow yourself to be filled again. Take a rest. You can't pour on an empty cup. Sometimes you feel like there's no room for you to struggle because of how many people are depending on you. But let me assure you, you are allowed to rest. Have a quiet time, take a rest. Date yourself if you need to. Take a rest in your own way. You need an open communication with your family. Embrace the process of healing. Grow from the process and do not get stuck in your struggles.
These are only 3 tips that are effective in dealing with your struggles. Actions are needed for you to grow. Although prayer is essential. We all know this. But prayer alone is not how you can deal with your struggles. Actions come alongside praying. As the saying goes in Tagalog "Nasa Diyos ang awa, nasa tao ang gawa" which means God gives mercy to those who help themselves. (That may not be the word by word translation but that's what the phrase says) This phrase might sound a bit harsh and confusing. Don't get confused. God also helps those helpless people. It's like saying God gives mercy but it is up to you to do the actions. But this depends on every situation. So if you feel that you can't help yourself, pray and have faith.. And rest assured God will give you the strength for you to be able to help yourself. (I may still edit this part so I can better explain this to not confuse other believers)
You are not a sinner for being sad. You are not a sinner just because you feel down. It's not because you don't have faith. It's not because you are not praying enough. We are humans that are not exempted to these emotions. We get mad, we get sad, we get frustrated, we stuggle, but we fight, we stand up, we get through this and we remain to have hopes.
I hope we practice the ministry of presence. Let us be present for our family. If they need to talk, let us be the one that they can be comfortable with. Let us be their for someone in this kind situation. Let's not shame them for feeling this way.
I hope we can offer our unconditional understanding. I hope that when someone tells us there's something wrong with them, we give them an unconditional understanding. Empathize with them. Make them feel that their feelings are valid. Make them feel that their situation or what they're going through is not okay, but it's okay not to be okay.
Let's pray with or for them.We can't pray mental issues alone. As I've said earlier, actions come alongside praying. I hope that when someone opens up to you, you can pray for them and I also hope, you can pray with them. Pray together. This will make them feel like they're not in this alone. That someone cares.
I hope what ever you are going through right now, you can find someone that you can open up with. If you think it's more serious, you can ask for professional help. If you need to talk to someone, you can talk to me. My line is open for those who want to share their feelings. Here's my email address. You can contact me here: email@example.com