Painful feeling as a mother

April 28, 2022 THURSDAY

WORRIED!

A big word for me as of this moment. I don't know I somehow overthinks on things nowadays. Maybe because I'm in the middle of complying on some papers or documents that are in need for the upcoming evaluation here in my workplace. I'm worried that I might not able to make things done accordingly. I also knew the fact that worrying is part of our emotional being. But when it comes to my little, worrying for me is already on it's peak level.

Today is the third day were my 2-years old son were not actually feeling well. That's why I don't know, as his mother I can't sleep well knowing my son isn't in good condition though I have with me my mother and father who helped me in taking care of my son. Still I can't stop on overthinking.

Last Sunday, when I and my partner went back here in my parent's place because of work our son were so happy seeing us both because according to my mother our son were always seeking for our presence and she said there was one time my son were looking at me and my mother just said that I was on work and that's why I'm not at home then suddenly after my mother says that she said that my son almost cried for he was looking at me for almost 2 days. Since, I and partner went back home in our house which was more than 100 km away from my parents' place. We went back to our home because it's also been a month that we haven't went home because of our works. Then, we went back here last Sunday afternoon in my parent's place where our son is. That's why as I've said when our son sees us, he was so happy and its really visible because our son keep on saying "nanay", "tatay" or in english "mom" or "dad", then he keep on jumping, hugging us both as well as kissing us.

That time our son were still feeling good. Seeing him which was so energetic and hyperactive I really can't noticed any sickness. He's still super active at this moment.

When Monday came, early morning. My son was the one who wakes me up because Monday its a work day for me and my partner. So, my son woke me up that morning and when I hugged him I felt my son's temperature isn't normal because he kind of having high temperature. But at this moment, he's still super active. So, when I and my partner got home from work. We've seen our kid lying already while calling us "nanay" "tatay" in his soft voice. In this case, I new already that our son weren't feeling well. Because he's usual approach to us every time we got home were so lively unlike at this moment were he was just lying in bed while keep on calling us. Then, my mother told us that our son were like that since afternoon and then he even vomits two times because of a high fever.

For his 2 years and 4 months now, this time was I guess the third time he got fever which was so high and this time was his highest temperature ever which became 40 degrees celcius and as a mother of course I'm so worried of what is the caused of his fever for why it became so high. Because most reasons why he got fever its because of his super hype actions which somehow leads to having some sprains in his waist and somewhere in his armpits. But what worries me is that, were far away from his therapeutic massager since his massager were at our place and not here in my parents' place because before once he got fever we are just going to bring him to that massager and the day after he got he massage he'll be fine again. But for this time, that wasn't the case because even if we brought him to a massager my son were still not okay.

This morning, I was somehow relieved because his temperature went down. But of course, the worry as a mother is still there. I'm just hoping that when I get home today, I'll be fully felt unworried and my son will be fully relieved from his fever because I really can't afford seeing my son sick. I just wish its all on me, his sickness will be on me than seeing him suffers from it. That's actually the aching part for me as a mother and maybe the most painful feeling seeing my son got sick.

That's why being a mother isn't that easy because in this kind of cases, I as a mother and even we as parents felt the most painful one.

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