Is She Lost?

18th of September 2021

6 years ago, there was this young innocent girl who has lots of dreams in life. She dreamt a lot for her family and for herself. She was even dreaming to explore the outside country for that was in her top lists. That after she finished studies she will flew outside her country to find her luck for her to gave what her family deserved. All in her mind was all about her dreams and nothing else that was said to be an intimate feeling. She's a school girl that only thought of finishing studies and even aimed to graduate in tertiary with flying colors. Actually, that was just so easy for her to graduate with flying colors knowing that she's hardworking and studies hard. She's innocent the fact that her mind were just all studies and nothing else more beyond that. Nothing else in her mind that ruins all her dreams in life and there's nothing so called distractions in her way towards reaching her dreams.

But all of that has change. She's changing her path. She's choosing different path that isn't in the first place her target. A decision in her life made everything changed up until this recently. Now, she's questioning herself if she's lost or what? If she's choosing the right path or not because if she's turning back there's no path for her already in turning back. Path from were she started vanished as she passed by through it and her choice is to continue heading the path she took and accept all the consequences along with it. That's reality. That's the consequence of her actions and decisions in her life way back 3 years ago.

What happened to this innocent girl by the way?

3 years ago, while she's chasing her dreams and tried reaching all her goals in life for herself and for her family. She then met a guy along her way. This guy was the reason why everything in her bucket lists changes. She were being so attached to the guy that somehow made her redirects her decisions and what her aimed for herself. The guy changes her perspectives in life that time. Her dreams to go outside the country changes as if it was gone from her mind. All she thought was the pleasures that the guy gave to her. She was being tangled with all the sweet moments with the guy and the sweet memories they shared along their relationship. She felt the contentment with the guy to the point that she forgets all her what-to-do lists for her future. Everything changes and the change was carried by her up to this time.

She then thought back then that the guy she chooses than her dreams in life will truly understands her. In the first place she disclose to the guy what she liked and mostly doesn’t liked him to do and they both agreed. The guy agreed on that, but as they both stays together all the girl’s thought on the guy changes as well. First of, she thought she could lean on him all the time in terms of different aspects especially on financial aspects but she’s wrong. She thought the guy would understands her attitudes towards some things that she don’t like but still the guy keep on jumping to things that she doesn’t like which leads the her to become in her evil mood. Once she became that way because of the guy’s doings that she doesn’t like she was then questioned by the guy about having such evil attitudes which made him fucked up. Like the guy said he was being tied up. Like what?

The girl then realizes things, everything she wanted in the first place was to have someone that understands her why her attitudes became evil where in the first place she doesn’t became that way not because of the guy’s doings that in the first she told the guy that she doesn’t liked it. But why is it the guy keep on doing such thing? And when she confront the guy about such, the guy would say that he was tired of it. That not because of his son with the her he will leave.

The girl was being teared apart from that words and realizes things while questioning herself. Is she choosing the wrong guy? Is she in the wrong path? The girl wanted to get out but how? Everything gets affected especially the kid if she does that. The girl now felt the regrets of redirecting her decisions into such things that isn’t sure for her. Now, she felt that she was totally lost. She as well felt tired but she has no path to turns back from what she started because there were always a kid involved. What can she do? Then she can do nothing about it for now. But she felt the eagerness to gets out from the situations once everything in her path chosen gets worst as time pass by.

She is now actually dealing along the situations and she has nothing to do with it. She said she felt tired. But she has no room to be tired since her kids depends on him alone. All her lights from the path she chose now were her kid. At least the girl has hopes on things to still continue her goals and all of her dreams were for her kid’s future.

Now, she realizes that she doesn’t have to dived on the situations and on staying with the guy without thinking in advance the consequences it brought to her life along the way. But what can the girl do. Everything’s late and regrets were always realized at the end and never seen at the beginning for the start of it are all lies and was blinded by all happiness and the thought of contentment which all are a bluff.

That was all the story of a girl that felt the feeling of being lost. Is she really LOST?

Disclaimer: This is what happen to my imaginative mind when I don’t have anything to write. I don’t know whose that girl, she just flashed in my mind and I started hitting the keyboard and then voila. A story has written. Lol At least, I have something to published today.

So, tomorrow is Sunday and have a blessed day ahead to all of you my readers. May the blessings showers in you all.

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