February 2, 2021
Some people thought seeking revenge on people who gave them extreme pain, sadness, or caused their downfall will make them happy. They thought it will let go of the pain they have suffered. They thought it will erase the bad memories engraved in their mind. They thought it will heal the wound stabbed in their heart. They thought it will fade the scars marked by an awful past. However, revenge comes at a price and it can leave them dwelling on the situation and remaining unhappy instead of helping them move on with their life.
I have thought of seeking revenge as well but in another way. If you have read my article Happiness Is A Journey Not A Destination you have learned that I held a grudge against my wicked father and even ran away from my family. For so many years that I have worked for them, it was just so hurting that he got the audacity to point a gun at me, just because I have confessed my hatred against him, broke his ego, and cut down his high ladder of pride. Among all his children, I am the only one who always helps him support his family. I carry the burden of responsibilities that aren't supposed to be mine.
If you were in my shoes? What will you gonna do?
Going back to the topic, despite the bad experiences I and my family had suffered from my own father, I didn't dare to take revenge on him in a literal way. Thinking of doing something bad against him is the thing that I will never do in my life because no matter how cruel he is, he is still my father. Moreover, my superego always dominates my ego. My conscience is always killing me even just making a simple mistake.
But do you know what is the best revenge?
Success and happiness are the sweetest revenge.
After I eloped, I looked for a job to sustain my independent living. I have regretted resigning from my previous job just to help them manage their business but only gained a painful memory. First nights are teary but I stayed strong because I want to take revenge on my father. I want to prove to him that I can be better than him. That I can achieve more things than him. And hoping that one day, he will realize that his family is more valuable than his little fortune. That is how I thought during those moments. And I thought that once I achieved those goals, it would gonna be my sweetest revenge.
Just one week after living alone, I got a job with a salary higher than my previous job. It has a graveyard work shift but I endured the sleepless night and restless day and became used to it after a month of handling different patients.
Living alone not relying on my father's money made me felt better. I became happy in some way and felt lighter with no baggage on my back. The death of my grandfather reunited us. And the moment I saw him, the emotions that fueled revenge started to fade but I continued to pursue my goals and I set it not for the sake of revenge anymore, but for my family.
Let the time heal the aching wounds. That is what I have told to myself. As time passed by, he started to change. Maybe he realized his faults when I was away. After just a few years of having his little fortune, all his businesses go bankrupt. And again, the burden of responsibility was passed on me. I continued to live alone in the city due to my graveyard schedule but still visiting home during special occasions. Just a few years later, I got an opportunity to work abroad using the fruit of my labor.
I finally proved that I can do better things even without the support of my father. And I am currently working abroad for more than three years and have become the financial provider in our family. Although it's a big responsibility, the changes in my father's perspective are like an achievement to me. He learned how to appreciate my hard work. He learned how to stoop down from his high ladder of pride. He learned how to accept the painful truth. He learned how to value his family. Maybe because he doesn't have that fortune anymore. Nevertheless, I am still thankful to bring a big change in his perspective. The great output of my sweet revenge.
Why do we need to seek revenge if it doesn't make us feel better?
So if you are dealing with someone who makes you feel bad, or with someone who gave the greatest pain to you, let your success and happiness be your sweetest revenge. Let go of the bad emotions, that is the only thing that will set you free.
Let your revenge build someone up rather than tearing someone down. Just like what I did to my father.
I hope this article will inspire you. Thanks for reading @Jane
Great achievement, with becomining independent with a good job and carrying your family, but specially with your thinking. You basically gave up the revenge, for yourself, and that is the right thing to do. It is a non-revenge.