During and After Relationships

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Avatar for Jane
Written by
3 years ago

November 7, 2020

Lately, I have been seeing articles regarding the key to the long-lasting relationship by @esciisc , and when to let go by @bmjc98 . All are about this powerful word called, LOVE. So let me make another sort of discussion about relationships. I may not be in the position to tackle this since I am single, but I have been there, and I have experienced almost everything being in a relationship. From courtship to break-ups, I know about it.

Photo credit: studntproblems.com

Relationships are not always perfect as "until death do us part" which happens in reality. Some are destined to be only temporary.

I should say that I belong to the temporary group of love because my relationship with my ex didn't last long. I wasn't a perfect girlfriend, and he wasn't a perfect boyfriend as well. And that love story only lasted for more than three years.

Here are some words that you might consider if you are in a relationship or even after breakups.

In a relationship:

  • Do not always think that you know your partner well. Do not assume that you know what will happen next, how your partner will react, or what your partner needs the most. Do not make assumptions because it might just cause misunderstandings.

  • It is important to express feelings to each other and communicate with each other effectively. Know what your partner asks for, his/her needs, or figure out how he/she thinks. Understand each other's condition, what his/her facing and going through.

  • Show love, care, and support to your partner at all times. You can do this by participating in your partner's life, events, activities, etc. If you understand and care for your partner, he/she will express his/her thoughts and emotions. This will also help to lessen the misunderstanding and suspicions towards each other.

  • Stay connected. Always give a call or send love messages to your partner at work. You can also give surprises to amuse your partner.

  • Forgive and forget. Forgive is the greatest act of love of all. Try to forgive your partner for all wrongdoings he has done. Try to forget bad things that happen yesterday and look forward to a better tomorrow.

  • Provide mutual support. Whether it is emotionally, spiritually, physically, or financially, you need to support each other. Give trust and gain trust.

  • If conflicts arise, find an immediate and effective solution. It is better to solve it before the day ends. Be matured and think rationally before you act. Share your thoughts and discuss the issue.

When you felt something wrong:

  • Trust your instincts. Listening to your gut is being honest with yourself, especially when you feel something going wrong.

  • Do not deny your feeling. Ask your partner if you truly want to get answers to your questions. If you will hide your feelings, it will only lead to doubting your partner that may cause misunderstanding.

  • Do not overthink when you feel something is wrong. It will draw away your positive feelings, and create more negative feelings and emotions. It may only give you stress that might ruin your relationships.

Not all relationships last forever. So you should be aware and understand that breakups are a part of it. And you should know how to handle breakups when that time comes.

Photo credit: red.online.com.uk

Dealing with Breakups:

Breakups make you stronger. It will give you experience on how you can handle love. It will motivate you to improve yourself in handling love and will help you in choosing a better partner. Sometimes, breakups can be terrible if you still have some moments that you can not forgive and forget him/her, especially if you love him/her so much.

In my case, it took me almost a year before I finally moved on from my last true love. I should have considered good ways to react to breakups and improve myself so it didn't last long. Thanks to my friends, they were always there during those painful moments.

  • Find ways to heal your broken heart. Express your thoughts through doing something else. Read motivational books and get inspired. You may consider writing your feelings and emotions or share it with others.

  • Do not overreact or do something stupid. Give some space from your ex. This will help you clear your thoughts and be able to move on with your ex.

  • Change your environment and put on some light, music, and let yourself relax in it. There is nothing wrong to allow yourself to be sentimental. Express your feelings, cry over it, it will help ease the pain and make you feel better later.

  • Go out with your friends. During breakups, friends will help you keep busy in a good way to keep the negative emotions away. Hang out or travel with them. It will help you in recovering from a painful breakup.

But because of breakups:

  • You will have a clearer vision of your choices. After a breakup, you will see clearly what you want to expect from your future partner. And you will be more certain of what you feel which makes you stronger and confident.

  • Because of a breakup, you already know how to deal with stress and heartbreak. Therefore, you will be a better person in the next relationship.

  • You will reconnect with yourself. You will learn how to value yourself again and will be more cautious with your actions. Because of the breakup, you will be motivated more to improve yourself which will create a better you.

  • Because of the breakup, you will work harder than before and will be more focused on yourself, your work, and your goal. And you will improve yourself spiritually, emotionally, physically, and mentally.


Learning to let go of the past is a vital aspect of your life. It will help you become a stronger and better person, and that is how a breakup serves as a blessing in disguise. Always think positive. Always remember that those painful heartbreaks provide you with an experience and you can learn lessons from it, and handle situations positively.

Move on, look ahead, and focus on your future. Always remember that life is short. You should live your life to the fullest. Forget the past, forgive the sinners, and face the future. That is the only way to be ready for a new relationship and so you can live your life happier.

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Written by: @Jane

Lead image from crosswalk.com

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Comments

Well, you're right! You know I'm guilty sometimes about overthinking, I think it's just being me and it annoys me because it is indeed stressful. Lalo na pag gusto mo e justify ung mali, parang tanga lang noh? anyway, kaloka ang love hahah! kaya life lang palagi sinusulat ko hahha

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3 years ago

Once ma brokenhearted.. Maloloka tlga sa love 🀣🀣 single k noh? πŸ˜…

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3 years ago

And now here's me thinking about what will happen when i break up but i hope that's not in the near future. Though I've had break ups, but this one seems different though

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3 years ago

Breakups make you stronger. It will give you experience on how you can handle love. It will motivate you to improve yourself in handling love and will help you in choosing a better partner

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3 years ago

Love is really not for me. Im not capable of loving. Whoever loves me will just get hurt, and I dont want that. I am better alone.

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3 years ago

I am usually the one who get hurts 🀣 so i better be single too

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3 years ago

Really, then thise menbare je*** they dont know your worth. And it's better to stay single for now,

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3 years ago

Maybe? πŸ˜… or maybe i wasn't a good gf to them..

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3 years ago

Very nice post

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3 years ago

wonderful post love it

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3 years ago

I still say thank you again for the wonderful upvote, you are bless already

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3 years ago

You are always welcome

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3 years ago

Well, you're right! You know I'm guilty sometimes about overthinking, I think it's just being me and it annoys me because it is indeed stressful. Lalo na pag gusto mo e justify ung mali, parang tanga lang noh? anyway, kaloka ang love hahah! kaya life lang palagi sinusulat ko hahha!

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3 years ago

Nkakastress tlga girl's instict..haha. But do you have a bf right now?

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3 years ago

Nah, I think since 2014 hahah! ngayon ko lang na realize matagal na pala un!

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3 years ago

Haha.. 2013 ako 🀣

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3 years ago

Yeah I totally agree. β˜‘οΈ And don't ever tolerate cheating in relationship! Forgive then forget hanap bago πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

Haha.. True. Once a cheater, always a cheater.. Sakit sa bangs lng yun.. Kya hanap bago nlng 🀣

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3 years ago

Lalo na Jane yung magaling magsinungaling, e magaling din nan tayong detective hahaha Huli na e sisinungaling pa πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

Korek.. Lakas ng instinct ng girls pagdating sa ganyang bagay.. 🀣

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3 years ago

Just like what they always say, if you are really meant for each other you will really be for each other, if not then you are not meant for each other.

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3 years ago

Exactly.... It doesn't matter how long you two are together.. It is about faith..

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3 years ago

This is the second article that has a topic of "Love." I haven't experience any breakup when it comes to love, I don't even know what love is. But someday, I want to find that too.

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3 years ago

Haha.. Nbsb/ngsb? πŸ˜…

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3 years ago

Yes, in my dreams, lol.

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3 years ago

This is good po n i can relate to this po, lol, though can't forget what my brother n my bf do po, told him, can't forgive it 'til i'm alive or living, since i learned it, parang nawalan po aq ng gana sa kanila pareho po, but guess, it bound to happen n i need to experience it po, so i never asked for anything anymore to both of them nor did i message my brother, actually, it happened before, lol, cguro po mpapatawad q clang dalawa pero ndi q po un makakalimutan

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3 years ago

It's a lesson to learn..and will make you a stronger person.. Cguro ngayon mas maalam kna sa pagpili ng boys πŸ˜…

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3 years ago

Un nga po eh, ang hilig, rather mahilig po aq sa lalaki kso ung lalaki po, ala hilig po sa akin, lol, like u said po, there's no perfect relationship po, it's up to the couple or partner how to make their relationship grew stronger, ang laban n panalo q lng po eh, mtanda n matured na po ung bf q, ika nga 3 in 1 po, lol

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3 years ago

🀣🀣 kape lng? 🀣🀣 feel mo mag last kong relationship nyo? Do you see him as your future husband? πŸ˜…

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3 years ago

Hahaha, opo, kape lng, lol, opo, never see anyone else but him po

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3 years ago

First bf? Haha matanong ako eh

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3 years ago

Opo though ndi po xa ang unang nakasama q po

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3 years ago

But first true love 😁

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3 years ago

Maybe po, lol

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3 years ago

This is amazing, but the only thing we are missing is, Love is based on God and when we take it from the base, it cannot stand for the popose, then anything is bound to happen, if we take the word "LOVE" more than a frase and take it as a sentence, we will avoid the mistakes of being victims of secumstances, thank God you ovvercome the pains, bless you

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3 years ago

You always give me advices. thank you pastor πŸ˜‡

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3 years ago

In our relationship now is very good

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3 years ago

What the?

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3 years ago

Yieee kung sino pa yung single sila talaga ang magaling sa relationship advice πŸ˜‚ Magjowa ka na rin ate Jane 🀣🀣

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3 years ago

nagsalita.🀣🀣🀣

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3 years ago

sorry na po agad πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

🀣🀣 ayaw pa.. Hanggang advice nlng eh.. Kc yun ang pinapangarap natn mangyari 🀣🀣

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3 years ago

haha magaling lang mag advice, pero pag nasa sitwasyon na din for sure mahirap din gawin yung mga advices natin 🀣 pag nagkajowa tayo basahin na lang natin ulit 'tong mga articles na sinulat natin πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

True.ganun nmn tlga.. Magaking mag advice sa iba pro hndi sa sarili.. 🀣 sna mga andito pa tong readcash kapag nagkajowa na 🀣

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3 years ago

Sana nga haha malay mo naman next month may jowa ka na πŸ˜‚πŸ€£πŸ€£

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3 years ago

Magdilang anghel ka sana 🀣🀣

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3 years ago

Ayiiee balitaan mo na lang kami dito sa read cash 🀣🀣

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3 years ago

Oo naman 🀣🀣

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3 years ago

Nice advice to some active lovers. 😁I have no experience on break ups but be sure to go to your "real" friends. Because fake ones just dip you more into breaking up permanently instead of helping you get over with what problem you have and learn to reconcile. FAKE and bitter one love to see you suffer.

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3 years ago

Actually my first painful heartbreak was a blessing in disguise because I met my real friends.. Hndi ko yun sila close time na yun, we were just officemates.. Pero simula time na yun, lage ko na sla nakakausap, kakwentuhan, isasama nla ko dun sa videoke house..hanggang naging group kmi..and until now, they are still my friends.. Real friends... I guess that break up was really meant to happen so I can meet my real friends..

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3 years ago

Somewhere, perhaps someone is waiting for you. 😁 And right, because in every difficulty and bad things that happen in our lives, there are always reasonable things that come unexpectedly.

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3 years ago

As the saying goes, unexpected things come when you least expect it.. At kung sino man sya, sna nmn magpakita na 🀣🀣 pro joke lng n ayaw pa tlga kht my dumating pa

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3 years ago

Oi oi, base talaga sa experience yan hehe. Pero ako nong nakipag hiwalay ako sa ex bf ko for 2 years siguro, saglit lang ako umiyak, mga sigundo lang ba. Tapos ayos okay na ako ulit, naka move on, bukod sa ako kasi takaga ang tumapos sa relasyon namin ee, wala na akong spark na madama sa relasyon namin, alam no yon wala ng future. And dami kong dinahilan sa kanya why ayaw ko na pero ang main reason talaga is yan, wala ng spark. Gusto ko kasi yong dati, nong una una palang ba. Hindi lang spark ang meron, umaapoy pa talaga haha.

Pero may classmate ako, 10 years sila mag jowa bali high school palang mag jowa na sila. Naghiwalay din sila ee, diko alam ang reason pero kala ko talaga sila na hanggang dulo, poreber na sila, lahat kaming kakilala nya ganon ang akala kaso yin nga nag break din sila. Naekwento ko lang dito para may masabi ako, hindi pa kasi talaga ako ganon ka expert sa love, nanlalamig na ata ako, I mean bato na ang puso ko. Di na ako nakakaramdam ng love puri crush lang na panandalian, yung vrish k onga ma taga palengke, nanlalamig na din ako sa kanya. Hahanap na namaj tuloy ako ng maka crush ,πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

Haha..umaapoy tlga 🀣🀣🀣 grabe na yun.. My kakilala dn ako.. More than 10yrs magjowa.. Tapus magbreak nkahanap ng bago 3months ln magjowa kasal agad.. Cguro ganun tlga..kht ano pa ipilit ang relasyon, kung hndi kyo pra sa isat isat, mag hihiwalay at maghihiwalay parn kyo.. For the mean time, let's enjoy being single 🀣 wala munang spark spark bka makuryente tyo nyan.. Mag aapoy k tlga 🀣

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3 years ago

Ahahahah, kaya nga ano. Minsan talaga yong kala mong kayo na talaga for life, hindi pa pala. Wala talaga sa tagal ng panahon yan ng relasyon, meron kasi whirlwind romance ang nangyayari, mas nagtatagal pa talaga yong saglit mo lang nakilala kasi sure na sya na talaga kesa yong karelasyon mo ng ilang dekada.

Enjoy na enjoy nga ako sa pagiging singgol ee. Baka masunog pag nasobrahan sa apoy ,πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

Madami akong natututunan syo.. Ano ulit yung whirlwind romance? 🀣🀣

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3 years ago

Sa pocket book ko lang natutunan yam haha, yong ang bilis nyo nagkagustuhan. Nagkatitigan lang nagka inlaban na agad ahe ahe. Haha

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3 years ago

Love at first eh ka nga.. Mahilig kpa rn pla sa pocket book..high school pa ako last time nagbasa nyan πŸ˜…

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3 years ago

Haha, no matagal ko na nabasa yan doon. At matagal na din akong hindi nagbabasa ng pb, masyadong mahal pag bumili tapos wala naman mapag rentahan dito sayang, 😭

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3 years ago

Oo nga mahal ang rent..kya ang iba sa ebook nlng.. Wattpad knlng. Dati adik ako jan..ngayon wala na..

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3 years ago

Sa watty free lang, saka andun na din naman mga favorite kong author ng phr, kaso wala na akong mabasa ulit kaso tapos ko na lahat. Ayaw ko naman nong iba at nakokornihan ako πŸ˜‚πŸ˜….

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3 years ago

Nabasa mo b yung princes of hell series? Ang ganda.. Nkalimutan ko name ng author...πŸ˜…

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3 years ago

Hindi pa, english? Diko pa maeencounter yan doon

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3 years ago

Oo.. Serach mo ganda at popogi pa ng characters 🀣🀣

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3 years ago

Sige nga, matry ko yan, wala na akong babasahin ee

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3 years ago

Ayun naalala ko na yung author.. vixinneAnn..not sure with the spelling, bsta something like that.. e

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3 years ago

This is one of my favorite topics 😜.. Not to tell everyone I have a happy relationship but because I've been into different ups and downs with "lovelife".. I applied my lessons learned from personal experience to helping others stand up from getting a heartbreak.

A friend of mine once told me that I'm their dr. Love.. Lol! That sounds funny and corny. πŸ˜‚ But honestly, their girlfriends come and cry to me when they encounter problems.. I don't know why, i just listen and talk and suggest what to do while even I myself is facing my own problems. There was one couple who are now happy with their marriage and i could proudly say that i took part of their relationship success. .

All we need to learn is trust, understanding and forgiveness, and self love..

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3 years ago

Ayos.. So pwd kna maging love consultant dto sa RC 🀣iwan ko dun sakn dati.. Kc first love ko yun.. And i almost give everything.. When i said almost, really almost.. I think you know what i mean.. at ang masakit pa nun.. LDR nkasira sa relationship namin.. Napalayo lng..nagpatukso na..

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3 years ago

Parang same lang din tayo my LDR din ako nun pero ok naman yung naging breakup, the last one was grabe ang gulo talaga.. Tapos sa first day ng breakup grabeh para kang mamamatay sa sobrang sakit. Then after a few months, years.. Tatawa ka na lang why you acted that way nung nagbreak kayo.. Hahah!

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3 years ago

I remember nung first day dn . sobra laki eyeballs ko kakaiyak..naging laman ng tukso tuloy ako sa office ng mga katrabaho ko... Tapus may malapit na videoke house, ayun yambay dun.. (Hndi nman uminom 🀣🀣) mga friends lng umiinom.. D pa ko sanay uminom ng alcohol that time.. But ginawa mo b istalk sya kht few years na kyong break? Ganun ako minsan 😭 namiss kolng cguro magkarelasyon 🀣 my family na yung tao.. Ito ako single pa dn haha

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3 years ago

Hahah! Dati.. Pero frnds na kmi.. Ung ldr bff ko kc un dati tapos naging friend ko din naging wife nya ngayon. Yung isa naman we're in good terms din.. Infact kung anu ano binebenta ko isa sya sa mga customers ko.. Hehehe. Nakapag establish kasi naman ng magandang relationship sa family nila.. Pero nung una talaga ang gulo kasi yung naging gf niya na pinalit sakin is very childish ang attitude. Pero hindi yun yung naging wife niya.

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3 years ago

Buti kujg ganun.. Yung girl nmn naging dahilan breakup namin hndi nya nakatuluyan.. Yung nakilala nya ng ilang months lng , yun napangasawa nya.. Ayoko dn dun sa girl na naging dhl ng brkup.. Kc ang landi pra sakn.. Friends nmn kmi sa fb 🀣

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3 years ago

May nasimulan ako dito na parang ginawa kong series yung love story ko.. Namention ko lang dun yung start namin nung ldr.. Haha! Di ko pa nadudugtungan..

Yup ako din ung last pinalit sakin medyo may pagkamalandi..hehhe🀣 tapos etong hubby ko na nung naging kami nakakasabay nya sa mga bars sinusundan sundan sya nung girl tapos tinetext ako nung girl na parang nang iinis. Di naman ako tinatablan na. 😜

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3 years ago

I want to upvote this, I really like this article, I swear. But I guess we might get a sanction, (I really don't know). πŸ˜… And you are right in everything you've said. I saw and heard lots of relationships to failed and I'm happy that my first relationship stay long up until now, but to be honest we have our ups and downs that's inevitable and normal in relationships. But as long as you know how to handle it everything has a sulotion. However, that must go to the both of you, if one fails to do his/her part, then it'll be ruined, it'll be a mess up. And that's based on my experience too. ❀️😊

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3 years ago

Ganun tlga, no perfect relationship.. Sabi pa sa expression natn "walang forever" 🀣🀣 ako nga kht no pa effort ginawa ko.. Pro ang daming tukso sa paligis.. Nagpatukso naman ang isa .kya ayun... Btw, are you in a relationship right now? My anak k db?

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3 years ago

Amazing one

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3 years ago

Should I reconnect myself naba? What can you say ? hahaha sana all πŸ˜†πŸ˜πŸ˜

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3 years ago

Kung maayos pa, pwd nmn ayusin.. Pro kpg wla na tlga chance. then it's time to let go and reconnect with yourself. 🀣

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3 years ago

Hahaha, cge ayusin ko muna πŸ˜† iba kase ako kahit on going pa, nag rereconnect na ako, advanced mag isip hahaha

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3 years ago

Uunahan na..pra hndi mabigla 🀣

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3 years ago

Oo ganon, practice na ba πŸ˜†πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

Oo simulan mo na haha

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3 years ago

Pagod nakong magmahal, char πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

Laki ng upvote..ang yaman 🀣 db my anak k?

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3 years ago

Wala ngang jowa, anak pa kaya πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

magkakajowa na yan galante eh πŸ˜†πŸ˜…

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3 years ago

Pag marami ng ipon saka na πŸ˜‚

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3 years ago

hahaha sigi, paradamihin mo muna laman nang portfolio mo πŸ˜†

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3 years ago

good written my @Jane My Jane Dear Jane I like you and your writing Dear @Jane Best of Luk @jane May bless you God and become successful all over the world . At the end Pray for me @Jane

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3 years ago

Communication is the key

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3 years ago

Good written about relationship

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3 years ago

One of my good friends Recently ended her 5 year relationship with her spouse. They had just bought a house togther too... BUT just like the article says, she has reconnected with herself spiritually and has been finding out who she is personally outside of that relationship <3 thanks for the article!

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3 years ago

Every thing happen in relationship you can find your perfect partner or your break up

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3 years ago

Nothing is permanent in this world.. Kahit kasal na nga naghihiwalay pa dn πŸ˜…

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3 years ago

Yup sa fairytale lang yung quote na "they live happily ever after" minsan at bihira lang talaga yun sa real world

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3 years ago

Tama.. Haha..

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3 years ago