Domestic violence: my in-laws are catalysts

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Avatar for James2k21
2 years ago

Good afternoon readers here, it's been a while since I've been here and that's due to this long lasting exams I've been writing, I'm really sick of it if you ask me because it seems like it doesn't want to end anymore and that's really sad because I keep getting sleepless nights everytime these courses come my way but I'll be fine is all I can say. I can always wait for it to finish and enjoy the rest of my year.

Let's get to my article but before then, let's take a view at my sponsors.

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I'll start this article in a chemistry way because of the word "catalyst". Catalysts are substances that alter the rate of a chemical reaction, the way it actually works is that it reduces the activation energy required to overcome the blah blah blah, I'm not a chemistry guru...

I've got a friend that actually has issues in his marriage and I'm having this writing based on his story even though I didn't tell him I was going to write it but no name is to be mentioned so I guess I'm covered. He explains;

I got married to my wife about seven years ago and we've not really being able to enjoy our relationship based on the fact that immediately after our marriage, we lived inside our parent's house for close to four years, not their house exactly but the same compound at least. My mother is a typical Yoruba woman and she really cares about the tradition even more than we, her children. My wife kept complaining that my mother is making life difficult for her and I also kept complaining that her mother is also a problem to our marriage. We actually got a divorce about a year ago but we're back to settle the scored between us and we wish that goes down well...

I also got them a marriage counselor to help them getting back together since they want to do so for the good of their children, and these conversations took place.

Marriage counselor: Please, can you narrate what transpired in your broken marriage

Husband: we met and dated for close to three years before I came up with the mind to ask for her hand in marriage, we married and we have three children but we've been going through a lot in the marriage in the sense that her mother instigates her against me every time she goes to her place because I normally notice that she acts strangely anytime she comes back from her place, so I banned her from coming to our house because of her hate against me.

Marriage counselor: Can you talk Mrs....

Wife: well, he has said most of it but he's forgetting to say something, he's a drunkard and anytime he comes back from work, he normally beats me because of the influence of alcohol and my mother always complain about the way he beats me, no mother would obviously take that, so she took me out of the house, a lot of issues on domestic violence, but he'll always put it on my mother and that's unfair.

Husband: I know I am a drunkard, I drink, yes and she knew about this even before we married but that's not even an excuse but I've taken my time to treat myself and I'm presently on treatment. She complained that I beat her every time but that's a lie because I've only beaten her twice and there was another day I came back drunk and she hit my head with the electric iron which is the cause of the scar on my head. This alone...

Marriage counselor cuts in...

Marriage counselor: I'm not going to allow you keep talking because you've failed as a man on the day you raise a finger over your wife, no matter who instigates it and I know that your wife would want to call the hitting of iron on your head self defense but that's quite wrong because if he died as a result of brain injury, you'll be behind bars at the moment but we thank God nothing happened. I'm going to tell you that the involvement of your parents in your family is your own fault, you should set a boundary to which your parents get involved in your family because you're married to your wife and not to their family and it's also wrong of the husband to ban his mother-in-law from your house but I'm happy y'all are ready to get back and that's the joy...

This is my take on the story, we should make sure we set all these things even before we get into our marriages because I feel if all these things were actually addressed before their marriage, it won't be this bad. I really wish I could continue writing but I'm already getting paranoid that i have exams coming up on Monday so I'll leave it to the audience to comment on their take on this issue...

Thanks for reading 😊❤️

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2 years ago

Comments

It's never a good option to live in any of the parents house after marriage in most cases, not all. There will not be privacy and all

I wish you the very best in your exams

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2 years ago

Marriage is never an easy thing to get involved with, we should be careful before getting into it, we need God grace to be able to find a perfect marriage. Hope your exam is going smoothly

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2 years ago