I was busy scrolling down my news feed when suddenly, my ex messaged me out of nowhere saying,
"How's your life, Claire? I hope you are doing fine and happy."
Upon reading his message, I could still hear his raspy voice at the back of my mind and how his dimples casually popped out while saying those words.
Out of nostalgia, tears started to form at the corner of my eyes.
Troy and I were in a relationship for five years and we broke up because I wanted to pursue my dreams first.
To put it simply, I chose my career over him.
That time, I was so glad that despite how afraid he was to lose me, he respected my decision and my happiness.
Before I could even reply, my fingertips started tapping our old conversations.
While doing a backread, mixed emotions filled my heart as I read his old messages.
"You can dress whatever you want, love. Your self-expression and your happiness matter to me most. If someone disrespects you on the street, just call me and I swear, that bastard won't go home without getting bruises and fractures."
"Love, I won't get too tight to you, okay? I wouldn't let you feel being suffocated and chained. Rest assure that while you are with me, always choose what makes you happy."
"Claire Deniz Betaña Calderon, don't stress yourself too much, okay? You know how much obsessed am I to you to the point that I don't want to lose you, but I don't want to take away your dreams, either. You've always been dreaming to be a lawyer and I won't be selfish. Spread your wings and soar high, my love."
"Pursue what makes you happy, woman! Don't hesitate to dump me when you need it. Kahit hindi na ako 'yong pipiliin mo basta kung saan ka masaya, doon ako."
While reading his messages, I couldn't help myself but to cry harder.
There, I've realized how supportive my ex way back then... up until now.
"Congrats pala sa wedding niyo ni Justine, Claire. I'm so happy for you," he sent me another message.
Wiping my tears, I replied, "Thank you, Troy."
"I didn't regret losing you because guess what? You are finally a lawyer now. I'm so proud of you, Claire. REALLY PROUD!"
My heart moved.
I was about to reply when suddenly, he messaged me again and the next words he said made my heart ripped apart.
"It's just sad that I wasn't there with you while celebrating your success. I wasn't there to see you slowly fulfilling your dreams. Hinanap kita noon pero sa gitna ng paghahanap ko, nakahanap ka na pala."
"But that's okay, Claire. I'm happy that you found a man who can makes you happy. And that's enough for me to be happy, too."
"Your happiness will always be my number one priority even if I'm no longer part of it."
My heart tightened at his replies as tears began to blur my vision.
"Thank you for letting me choose my happiness, Troy. Thank you for letting me spread my wings and letting me fly to reach my dreams. You've always been part of my journey."
"And that's the saddest part. I'm just a part of your journey but not the destination," he replied.
Iyak lamang ako ng iyak.
Before I could even have an emotional breakdown, I immediately logged out.
Hindi ko na kaya 'yong sakit. After all these years, nandoon pa rin pala 'yong sakit.
"Babe, why are you crying?" My husband instantly ran over me as he arrived in our home.
He gave me a bouquet of roses, enough to warm my heart.
I wiped my tears and smiled at him.
"I'm okay, babe. Thank you for always been there to make me happy," I told him with glistening tears.
He just hugged me tightly. "Just stay by my side and I'd do everything just to make you happy," he replied.
The next morning, my husband took me out for a dinner date.
My heart was filled with so much happiness but what my husband said that night broke my heart into pieces.
"You won't feel any sadness when you're with me, babe. Just don't leave me."
After he said those words, a realization struck me.
Both my ex and my present wanted me to be happy.
The only difference was, my husband wanted me to be happy with him— while my ex just wanted me to be happy.
Even without him.
From that day onwards, the moment I spot their difference, I haven't been okay since then.
There, I've realized that I lost the best man in my life.
I lost Troy.
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Honestly finding a man like troy is very hard cause that kind of man wants is for you to be happy even without him and still proud to you even you broke that man and its very rare to to be found!
-Thank you
Reading your story makes my mind on Chaos, as a man who loves his girl I'm willing to do everything just to make her happy, even if she wants me to let go off me for her dreams and happiness, but I don't think I can handle myself seeing the one I love is happy with another man. That's just too painful to hold...