Living through a pandemic is reshaping our kids' friendships in unprecedented ways. Kids are being forced to stay apart from the peers because of social distancing requirements, which is causing them to feel alone, isolated, anxiety, and bored. In fact, life in lockdown has been extremely challenging for kids especially because their lives have been completely disrupted.
Not only are they dealing with the uncertainty of the upcoming school year, but they also may be lonely, anxious and may even be struggling with fears of dying. That's a lot of weight for them to be carrying on their shoulders.
Why It Matters
At first, you may wonder what's the big deal. After all, it hasn't been that long that the country has been social distancing. But social interaction with others is the primary way kids learn. In fact, some would say it is an essential component not only for relationship building, but also for learning skills like collaboration, problem-solving, and communication.
And though there is not a great deal of research available regarding the potential consequences of social distancing on children, there are some studies that suggest kids tend to be more vulnerable than adults when their routines are interrupted and they are cut off from friends.1 In fact, when a child is isolated from their peers—either due to an illness like cancer or a pandemic like COVID-19—their normal social rhythms are interrupted and it impacts their social development.
For example, one study found that survivors of childhood cancer reported not only having fewer friends but also more struggles developing healthy friendships.2 The isolation caused by the coronavirus could potentially have the same impact on kids.
Additionally, when it comes to being separated from friend groups, some kids are more at risk than others. For example, kids who are only children are in some ways more vulnerable to the isolation and stress that is caused by the pandemic. Likewise, kids with pre-existing anxiety or depression as well as kids with developmental and learning disabilities also have unique challenges with forced to social distance as well.
And not being able to see their peers can have significant consequences for kids whose home lives are chaotic or impacted by domestic abuse. When navigating challenging situations like this, kids often look to school or turn to their friends as a way to forget about what is happening at home. But given the fact that many parts of the country are under extreme social distancing measures, most kids are not only cut off from their support systems, but they also have had to struggle with many of their favorite activities being cancelled as well.
For some, technology has helped bridge the gap. But for those in the digital divide without access to smartphones, tablets, laptops, or even computers at local libraries, the isolation has an even greater impact. They are virtually cut off from their peers with no way of contacting them. Likewise, there is only so much that technology can do to help children maintain connections. Interacting with friends through a screen is the not the same thing as being in person.
Unintended Benefits
Inspite all the challenges that come from being cut off from their network of friends, some families are finding that there are some unintended benefits that come from social distancing. For example, the pandemic has allowed some kids to critically evaluate some of their friendships. What they are understanding that the people they were working so hard to maintain relationships with, were actually not healthy friendships. Instead, they are finding that some of these relationships were with frenemies and fake friends.
Additionally, kids who struggle with social anxiety, were consistently bullied, or simply prefer to learn at their own pace may welcome the fact that schools shut down. After all, not every kid wanted to participate in their spring fun day. And some teens had no intention of attending prom. So, when schools shut down, they were actually relieved because there weren't under as much pressure.
Meanwhile, another benefit is all the time families are able to spend together. Kids in healthy families are flourishing because of the additional bonding time they have with their core family.
Not only are they spending more time together and communicating more frequently, but they also are spending more quality time together playing board games, doing puzzles, going on bike rides, and enjoying nature together. Consequently, many families feel like they are going to emerge from this crisis as a more tight-knit family.
In fact, one study of the Severe Acute Respiratory Syndrome (SARS) outbreak in Hong Kong indicated that relationships and mental health may actually benefit from what is experienced during COVID-19.3
Even though there were negative consequences including elevated stress levels, more than 60% of the respondents reported that they not only strengthened relationships with family and friends, but that they also emerged with a renewed interest in taking care of their mental health. Likewise, nearly 40% said they also felt more willing to share their feelings with family and friends after the epidemic ended.
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