Setting boundaries in a platonic relationship (part 2)

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Written by

Honey_bch

Lover of bitcoin, inspirational writer and creativist

2 years ago

In community: Original writings(e2e3)

Topics: Relationship, Today's Blog, Boundaries, New month, Lessons

It's another new month of the year, I will like to welcome each and everyone of us into the new month. Happy new month friends, I pray the Lord bless and keep us, we would witness many more months by the grace of God. Amen!

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In continuation of my yesterday's article, I will like to categorize the different type of relationships we have and the limit of boundaries we should set for each of them.

Friendship between two single people of same gender.

There are two properties in the above sentence which is "same gender" and "single", I will be focusing on these two points. When you are friends with someone who is of same gender with you and who is also single ie. does not have a boyfriend or girlfriend, the limit of boundary you are supposed to set in such a relationship shouldn't be too much. You should be able to do things together, communicate much more together, share things together, go out together, attend events together, even become each other's bestie, trust me no one will question you. The only reason you might need to set boundaries in this kind of situation is when the other party is taking advantage of space you have given them.

Friendship between two people of same gender which either/both of them is/are in a relationship.

In this kind of friendship, there is a need for setting boundaries because you one or both of the party is in a relationship. You will need to set boundaries just because of the respect you have for your own spouse and the other party has to respect your boundaries. The boundaries you will be setting must be in terms of time and space because the time or space you have to spend with your spouse shouldn't be given to your friends. You should realize that the space for your spouse is different from the space of your friend.

Friendship between two single people of different gender.

In this case, the both persons are of different gender and they are not in any form of relationship. As much as they are both not in any relationship with other people, there still have to be boundaries set between the two because they are not of the same gender. Yes, they might be close friends, they might visit each other's places or even go out together but they must also learn to set boundaries and the kind of boundaries they need to set in this kind of friendship is in the terms of what they discuss together when they are alone, how they touch each other, what they watch together and what they wear in front of each other. Sometimes, it's so difficult to believe that some certain people aren't in a relationship because of the way they behave with each other. One pointer for you to know that you have not being setting boundaries in an opposite gender friendship is when people begin to ask if you both are in a relationship, then you should know that the relationship between you both has no boundary. This kind of friendship is quite common.

Friendship between two people of different gender in which either/both of them is/are in a relationship.

I made an example of this kind of friendship yesterday and I discussed about how it destroyed a person's relationship. In this case where both the party involved are of the opposite gender and are in a relationship, there should be a strict boundary between the both of them. You have to set boundaries in terms of time, space, what you both do together, how you touch each other, when and how long you both communicates and so on... You have to give your spouse reasons they should trust you with the other gender by giving them all the time and space they need and not by giving it to the opposite gender friend, this normally piss alot of people off. For instance;

Williams is in a relationship with Princess and also has a female bestie named Sarah, anytime he sees Sarah even if he's right beside his girlfriend, he jumps at her and gives her a sweet hug and kiss while holding her so tightly, Princess kept on tolerating him because she just wants to respect her boyfriend's decisions. Some other times when they were both together, Williams will always abandon Princess to be on phone calls with Sarah claiming they are having work related conversations. One particular day, Williams was supposed to meet up with Princess for a dinner date but all of a sudden, Sarah calls him to inform him about a business meeting she needs to attend and she it's compulsory for her to attend with a friend, Williams in turn abandoned his girlfriend at the venue for the dinner date in which she has been waiting and decides to go accompany his friend, Sarah for her business meeting. After Princess has been waiting for quite more than 2 hours, Williams arrived at the venue apologizing to her that he had to accompany Sarah for her business meeting. If it were to be you, what will you say or do? You can drop your answer in the comment section below.

The bottom line is that when in any form of friendship, we should always have the interest of our spouses at heart, we should give them their space and time because those things are very important in a relationship.