Learn to Apologize

We all make mistakes, and sometimes we hurt people by doing something that we later regret. Perhaps you argued with friend or your partner, or made a comment without thinking about the consequences.

When this happens to me, I feel really bad. I imagine how hurt the person feels, even if they haven't told me directly. Even if I'm completely wrong. Even if they had it coming–I still feel bad. I imagine how hurt they are, and I attempt to fix it.

The easiest way to fix it is to apologize–to say that I'm sorry, and that I didn't mean to. This takes the pain away, at least a bit.

And in most cases, it's a pretty good lesson. Sometimes when I do something wrong I have to ask myself "Will this hurt anyone?" This question has helped me avoid a few bad situations: confrontations with people who don't deserve an argument (like shop assistants who don't understand English), backhanded compliments (don't give them), and long conversations about nothing that could be misinterpreted (it's better to take the long way around).

We do a lot of things wrong, simply because we don't think things through. Often we're just getting ready to do something and don't think about the consequences, or we're in a hurry and forget something important.

The thing is, mistakes are a part of life, and I'm starting to realize that some mistakes can be very positive and empowering.

Mistakes give you a chance to reflect, to learn, and if you're lucky, to apologize.

I think we all make mistakes. Some are big and other small, but the truly great people are the ones who admit they made a mistake.

The people who have the courage to say, "Hey, I messed up." And they really mean it.

"I am sorry."

It's a step towards being an adult and it's an important step in relationships.

The best way to motivate yourself is to get rid of guilt. To let go of all negative thoughts, let them go and move on. Do not think of what you did - do not beat yourself up.

Never say: "Oh I am so bad, I did this or that...". Instead, think: "Today I have done something wrong, forgive me for that". Thinking this way removes the vein from what you did. And then you have already said the first word of apology, and from here it's easier to finish the phrase.

Mindset is everything. Do not be afraid to talk about yourself in a positive way. Be confident. Believe in yourself and others will believe in you as well.

It's very easy to apologize

It's hard for people to believe it, but it's very easy to apologize.

The main ingredient in an apology is simple: the words "I'm sorry". Nothing else. Whether you want to add insights into what you did, or how you feel about the person, or point out how their reaction was wrong, or explain how you're going to fix things, or say that they were right and you were wrong, or any other aspect of your apology…you don't need to add anything to the words "I'm sorry". Every other aspect of an apology is sugar on top.

And if you are the offended

Once someone has done something to hurt you, the first step in getting over the pain is to accept their apology if they offer it.

Blaming them or making them apologize more than once will only add to the pain. When someone really apologizes, they have taken full responsibility. What they say is "I'm sorry. It was my fault."

Once you have accepted their apology, you are ready to move on. If they are sincere, they will be glad you have accepted the apology and will not want to rub it in.

They might also tell you how much they have learned from what happened. At this point, it is OK to forgive them, if you choose.

The worst thing you can do after someone has hurt you is to keep bringing up the hurtful activity. Whether you are hurt or not, don't say things like:

"I remember it like it was yesterday."

"How could you?"

"I can't believe I trusted you."

"You are selfish."

"You did this on purpose."

Sometimes we feel better just by getting the hurt out in the open, but if someone has apologized, don't keep reminding them of your pain. If you want to get over the pain soon, listen to their apology and then forgive them if that is what you choose. You can still remember its bad behavior, but don't keep rubbing your hurt in their face.

Thanks for reading ❤️❤️