@Hashtag009

@Hashtag009 23 July 2021

Full access to Waternova (and more) available @ hashtag009.substack.com ------------------------------ See you there, Hashtag

@Hashtag009 17 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Intermission II -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/warehouse-life-episode-v-career-paths-waternova-b7001ba9 With my extra-small hand cramping up again, and a really patient smile on my softer than soft face, I close my spiral-bound notebook and slowly, slowly stand up. Then I slowly twirl away from my desk, my window, and slowly tippy-toe over to my twin-sized cot. Gentle as can be I plop myself down and lean back against the peeling…

@Hashtag009 16 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Warehouse Life Episode V: Career Paths -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/chapter-seven-waternova-11f83273 Glass-cutting winds and crystalized brimstone. Skull-crushing snowplows huffing and puffing on the slippery bridge upstairs. The Manhattan skyline blazing through the freezing rain like a New Jerusalem. Like civilizing Rome. Endless legions of supercute diesel trucks rolling out of the Island Kingdom with DSNY standards on their…

@Hashtag009 16 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Chapter Seven -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/feed-me-waternova-6d15a4c7 My basket bumped into one of the slanted display stands. A flabby green dildo wobbled, wobbled, then threw itself at my blue and yellow vintage sneakers like a never-been-fondled fat baby. The rounded tip smashing into the ground with a skin-softening splat splat—splat . . . Oopsy daisy. I shrugged and reached down for the bruised, the totally bent vegetable…

@Hashtag009 16 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Feed Me -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/chapter-six-waternova-7b14a9df A tiramisu ass growls up at the moonless ceiling. Growls twice then slams down on a pair of panna cotta legs which squirm and moan and bend all the way back into a deliciously impressive banana split—fudge-topped, cream-filled, a red-ripe California cherry on bottom . . . A tiramisu ass growls up at the moonless ceiling. Growls twice then slams down on Sophie’s…

@Hashtag009 15 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Chapter Six -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/you-jump-first-ill-watch-waternova-3c7502ce Ugh, like what are these things that spin me round and round? That carry ladders, carry me-me-me melodies. That trample through my really tidy field of view without even asking or looking out for the pretty peripheral flowers or saying I’m so sorry, Zoe, it’ll never happen again. Without even paying for a brand new yard of perception or a foot of…

@Hashtag009 15 July 2021 Romance stories

You Jump First, I'll Watch -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/chapter-five-waternova-b789ce54 Sitting and growling in the back of the intimate grotto, the cavelike walls bumpy with Parmesan cheese, with pesto sauce, Giacomo Jones gulps on his second or third Old Fashioned (rye whiskey, simple syrup, bitters, an orange twist, no ice), and hopes he won’t have to fire Sophie for standing him up and not falling in love with him tonight.…

@Hashtag009 14 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Chapter Five -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/the-sky-is-taking-on-light-waternova-e0d71bd8 The Complete Guide to Low-Budget Filmmaking, The Filmmaker’s Guide to the Universe of Indie Success, The Essential Guide to Do-It-Yourself Fame, How to be Part of the 1%, A Step-by-Step Guide to Wishing Your Way to Hollywood, How Not to be a Twentysomething Loser, How to be a Global Celebrity, How to Win an Oscar Before You Turn Thirty, How to—I…

@Hashtag009 14 July 2021 Stories I wrote

The Sky is Taking on Light -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/chapter-four-waternova-4d7b7c67 His daily quota hit, his bob cat eyes puffed up into slits of feral fuzz, Giacomo Jones tears himself out of the unfinished algorithm flashing and flashing across his four computer screens like some kind of purgatorial fire. He coughs and chugs the rest of his really cold Guatemalan coffee, his superhairy fingers throbbing, screaming, throbbing…

@Hashtag009 13 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Chapter Four -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/intermission-i-waternova-451e4ad6 Blinking myself out of two or three weeks’ worth of seriously overdue sleep, I yawned up at a coconut cluster of light brown ceiling stains. Circles within circles and still this mildewy paste on my yellowwhite teeth. Wait a second—when did all those get up there? . . . It must have definitely been that sneaky thunderstorm. There’s probably a really big leak…

@Hashtag009 13 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Intermission I -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/warehouse-life-episode-iv-girls-waternova-be4c0fce Totally wishing I could hangout with anyone as cool as the Pizza Boyz right now, I stand up on my ten tippy-toes and turn off my flatscreen friend with a sigh and a really long kiss goodnight. Then I flop down on my twin-sized cot and slowly, slowly sit back against the peeling strips of yellow wallpaper. All my twentysomething mistakes…

@Hashtag009 12 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Warehouse Life Episode IV: Girls -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/chapter-three-waternova-40b11588 The first thing we see as we zoom in on the Warehouse are twenty or so half-full, half-empty, half-sipped, half-spilled, half-chugged and half-crushed beer cans. Then we see the ceiling-high stacks of empty pizza boxes, the 50-pound bags of bread flour, the buckets of tomato purée. Holding our breath we tippy-toe over the concrete floor,…

@Hashtag009 11 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Chapter Three -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/mythmaking-monday-waternova-d4610376 The rain came, the rain went, the purplegray nozzle in the sky thundering on and off as some sicko up there like totally got off on swinging pressure systems back and forth, back and forth— two or three lightening winks twisting Manhattan with giggles of green light, the tropical downpour now easing itself into a haunted hush-hush, each spalike street…

@Hashtag009 11 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Mythmaking Monday -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/chapter-two-waternova-b730cc13 “Today’s the day I fucking ask her!”—This is like seriously the one and only thought racing through Giacomo’s brain as he elbows his way though the revolving glass doors and barges into the translucent Coliseum with a double thumbs up to the one-eyed security guard picking his eye patch behind the reception desk and like not even looking up or…

@Hashtag009 11 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Chapter Two -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/opening-vibes-waternova-8b0632e2 I stared at the screen. I stared at my laptop screen and yawned the afternoon away. I was like totally tired, totally comatose. Plus I still couldn’t like actually believe I’d made it into work this morning after staying up all night with Precious. (We made chicken with couscous. We spent the night drinking two or three bottles of Merlot and wishing upon a…

@Hashtag009 10 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Opening Vibes or Prelude to a Party -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/chapter-one-waternova-230e24d9 6:15 AM or so. In the smog, in the dark, a post-9/11 pomegranate sun begins its totally epic ascent up the American mountaintop. Slivers of pinkred light seep into the apartment, the ceiling vents trembling with bacon puffs, with sausage gusts. And while free-range eggs are fried and served, fried and served, fried and served at the…

@Hashtag009 10 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Chapter One -- Waternova Link to previous installment https://read.cash/@Hashtag009/prologue-waternova-efe78293 “Move bitch!”—But before I could like even try my very best to get out of his way the middle school skateboarder had already kickflipped off the top of the steps, had already spun himself 360 degrees, had already taken off his ANARCHY 99 T-shirt and waved his purple Mohawk at a trio of giggling brats, and had already like seriously miscalculated his dramatic…

@Hashtag009 10 July 2021 Stories I wrote

Prologue -- Waternova Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale . . . When I’m like totally done with my very, very relaxing breathing exercises, a pillow of neon-pink light warming my supercute face, I blink open my doll eyes and uncross my superlong legs. Then I stand up slowly, like very slowly, and go through my morning stretch routine. Arms and neck, tingling chest and sighing hamstrings. I twist and crack my back, my spine. I try my very best to…