The Weights On Their Shoulder!

I apologize if most of my writing is based on my parents' experiences, as I am still young and I didn't experience heavy situations in life yet. My parents are doing their best to give us what we need and to educate us from their experiences.

You know how mom's blah blah blah blah, when they start lecturing. “You know, during our time blah blah blah, you are fortunate now because blah blah blah.” lol. I always heard it countless from my mom. I even memorize it already, if I can only record what she's saying I will do it so she'll not waste her saliva anymore, but I am kinda scared you know my mom is a monster 🙊😆

I read an article from @Marinov that she's tired because her grandmother put a lot of pressure on her, that most of the time it upsets her because of too much pressure from the responsibilities she had in her shoulders, you can read her article, I forgot how to be happy. I can relate when I read her article, not literally me but my parents' story.

Mom and dad are both breadwinners

Mom as an eldest daughter

My mom is the eldest daughter, she has 3 girl siblings. Her mom and dad broke up due to a third party issue, her dad left them and went with his mistress. My grandma raised them alone since she was still young, probably in her elementary days. As an eldest daughter she shared the responsibilities of helping her mom to provide financial needs of the family since her dad abandoned them and never gave financial support.

Until now my granny is working with other people, she's tired as she's getting old as well. But she has to because mom's 3 sisters are still studying college. You know college tuition fees are not free and she provides all of them alone.

That is why my mom is still doing her best to save money to support grandma and her siblings even if she's married and has her own family now.

If you wonder why my mom siblings are still young because, she had a long gap before her mom got pregnant again. I think 10 years, then her siblings had 1 year gap each of them three.

Dad as the breadwinner of his family

Unlike mom, dad is not the eldest but all his eldest sisters are married already. He has been under a lot of pressure because his family put a lot of hopes in him. 

His family believe that through him they can get rid of poverty. He was even told to reconstruct their house that was built 30 years ago.

He always tells my mom how pressured he was, he felt that his parents were unfair because when her 2nd eldest sister was not yet married, they didn't obligate her to at least renovate their house.

My dad has a younger brother and he is very lazy. He didn't finish his studies as well because he is not focusing on his studies but with his friends and having road trips, but dad's parents never scolded him. They just tolerate him because he was the youngest. See? How unfair it was for dad.

Until now they put their hopes in dad that is why we don't have our own house until now, when his siblings children got sick they'll come to him for financial aid. Like he was their bank. Although it's not bad to help, we are fortunate that we can help but how can we establish our own family when his family still putting hopes in him? That is why my mom is also working hard and does not rely on dad.

Because whatever happens it is still dad family, both my parents can say no to them as well especially if it is really needed like health issues involved.

They never enjoyed themselves

Because of the loads of responsibilities that have been on my mom's and dad's shoulders they didn't even enjoy their company together.

They wanted to experience traveling together, experience having a good life of their own because they are always budgeting money for the sake of their family.

They can't enjoy buying luxury stuff for themselves as a treat because they always consider their family, that their family needs this and that.

Endnotes:

My mom tells me their stories because she wants us to learn from their experiences, so we can appreciate what we have. That our situation is better than theirs because we don't have to sacrifice anymore for the sake of family members.

They are doing their best to let us finish our education, provide our financial needs and ect so we will not suffer in depriving what we want to do because of so many responsibilities.

They are trying to change the situation by putting a lot of hope into children's lives. Mom said, it's not bad that children will pay back their parents after they are being stable but it shouldn't be mandatory or forcibly because it can give a lot of pressure.

She said, as a parent it's their obligation to give a bright future to their children, not to put a lot of pressure or hope to have a brighter life after the children finish their studies.

I am just narrating what my mom said but I hope before they get old, they can enjoy each other's company without minding so many responsibilities.

To all breadwinners I salute all of you. I know how it feels that sometimes you guys are being tired because my mom always tells me that.

Until next time, thank you for reading.

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