I will Scratch you!!!!

February 17, 2022

Last night, I told you it was hard for me to fall asleep because I feel so excited for the upcoming event of my favorite Kpop Idol, BTS. While I was awake, my mother was eating. She just finished all her household work that time. She was making a coffee so I teased her if she can make me one too. Of course, my mother will never say no to me. She always prepares me coffee as soon as I went home after work. I think I can finished 4 glasses of coffee a day and that is the minimum, lol.

So there, while she was preparing the coffee, I was playing our tabby kittens in the cage. One of them pulled my hair. They are newly born, fat and just opened their eyes. When one of them smelled that there is a human standing near their cage, they will try to scratch them. I played with them and they kept on scratching me. I told my mother that it was so early for them to scratch people like that but she answered it is normal for them to scratch and leave people wounded. My mother even added that when I was still a baby, I was like a kitten that I scratched everyone's skin when someone is near me. I gave out a big laugh after hearing that I don't believe her, so she added some stories.

While I was like 6-month old baby, it became normal to me to give bruises to my family members. My father loves to hold me so as a remembrance that he held me for a day, I will scrape his skin until it bleeds. I was startled to know it, really, I act like a kitten? Of course, I thought about that, maybe its true but I can't believe I was hurting them when I don't even know what hurt means.

I pulled my mother's hair too, especially when I am hungry. I throw lots of my toys to my sister when she is touching it. We were only two back then, but we are three siblings in the family. My always target is my sisters eyes. She always complains about me but my father will say, "she is still a baby, she is not aware of what she do" and I will just throw any toys I was holding to her dear face.

When I was sleeping and I am in the middle of my parents, one of them will get slap. I was in deep sleep and unaware that I will slap one of them that they will get awake. My father is my victim according to my mother but she also experienced my big and heavy slap too. She wants to slap me too sometimes, lol but then she will stop herself since I am just a baby. I ruined their sleep so they put me to my baby cage. Once I become aware I was separated, I will give them my dramatic cry.

I am kind to my pets, my mom said. I love our cats and dogs. Our cats way back then are all sweet to me. Our dogs loves to make me laugh. Now I wonder who are they. I can't recall anymore the dogs we had before and even don't remember my cats. What I remember was I have pets with me as soon as I was born. I was born at home by the way. My mother told me that when she was in the kitchen, I was at my cage and one orange cat will look after me. I even used her as a pillow while I was sleeping. That cat loves me, mama said. She always look after me. I hurt her with my toys too but she never hurt me back. She will just close her eyes, mama said.

I realized that they have big love for me and they have long patience. It is not my intention to hurt them because I was still a baby, they will just mildly slap my hands when I am trying to hurt someone. My mother told me a lot of my behavior. I was aggressive and laid back at the same time. My introverted personality starts when they put me out for a sun exposure in the morning. When neighbor starts to notice me, I will feel uncomfortable. I was a total snob. Seeing lots of people around overwhelms. I cry in front of them. I am totally the opposite when I am with my family as I trust them and I am always cheerful, but of course the scratching of skin becomes a hobby that is why we have stock of betadine at home.

Before I end this, I remember a certain incident while I was 8 or 9. I was bullied by a schoolmate. She locked me in the comfort room. I screamed out of my lungs because I was scared of the dark. She turn-off the lights before locking me. What I did was to kicked the door and destroyed it. She was outside and startled. So what do you think happened next? Of course you know now, I scratched her face. The next thing was my parents and me in the office of the principal. I was reprimanded by my mother was not angry at me as she knows, scratching someone is just normal to me, lol.

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