I Lost My Voice 😭

March 17, 2022

Hi readers!! I hope you are now in deep sleep if we are on the same timezone in Asia. From other countries, I hope you are safe and enjoying the day. Today is my 3rd day of not talking in the office. Not because I dont want to talk, but because I can't talk. I lost my voice. I had my voice last Monday but it was cracking when I started to talk. For sure if you will hear me, you will laughing at the sound. The sound is deep coarse just like Bonnie Tyler and Tina Turner, the worst version. At home, I also talk and I force to talk. They are worried for me because I am really "paos" or rough and harsh in sound.

I have a cough which started last Sunday and due to being stubborn I drank Koomi, a sweet fruity cold drink while watching BTS concert. And of course, it was the D-3, or day 3 of the concert so expected that I will give my bestest scream for my bias Jungkook.

When I woke up last Sunday, I felt some irritation on my throat already and I felt tired. I feel like I'm going to be sick. I went to BFF house to watch the last day of Concert of BTS and I scream and shout all the way.

I cannot control my emotion because I am full of happiness that time. Since it is a once in a lifetime opportunity I allowed my throat to be in danger and now I am suffering.

Last Tuesday, I do not talk to anyone at work. Few of them knows the sound of my voice and I guess some of them are wondering why I am not talking. I used earphone to not hear the conversation of the people around me so that when I can relate to the topic, I am not oblige to join. It is better that I am not aware to avoid feeling bad that I cannot join them. I just listen to BTS song on my playlist while doing my work. It is amazing that I did my work and I enjoyed my company, I mean my "Me" time with my music. My officemate will just poke me when they want to tell me something. I am glad I have an understanding and caring officemate.

Yesterday, most of them know that I am not feeling well and I lost my voice. I do easy sign language to communicate or I will write in a scratch paper what I want to say. For the people I regularly have a phone conversation, I already told th through viber that I don't have a voice so they will just message me on viber what they want to ask me. For the rest of the three days, I am not talking but just looking at them when they wnat to include me in the conversation. I laughed when there is something funny, but of course, it has no sound. I can whisper or I can talk with no sound but they will read my lips. Too much adjustment on us but I am happy that they understand.

It is hard to lose a voice. I hope it doesn't last for a week. When I want to say something, it is hard to write. They will just laugh at me when I start to write or make a sign language, but I know they enjoy it. It is hard to lose a voice because sometimes I want to bring out your point and you can't explain, I become frustrated. I hope I get heal faster. On the other side, the introverted personality in me is enjoying the peace of being avoided to ask as it will not make sense if they talk to me as I cannot say anything. I enjoyed working and existing without side conversations.

Somehow I understand the situation of mute people. The are not able to voice out their thoughts and only people who knows sign language can understand them. Having a voice really matters. It is a lesson learned for me to take care of my throat. Before I forgot, I have a cough that is why I lost my voice. I wish I will get heal in no time. I can't sing and I can't laugh and I am not okay with that.

Thanks to my sponsor and readers for the support as always. In this platform, I am not losing my voice and thoughts that is why I am happy here!!

Images are all mine