December 12, 2021

Early this morning I had a dream. I was with some friends that I don't know, but we were happy together and we went to ladies room for a makeup retouch. When I faced the mirror of the ladies room, I don't know who I see. I can feel my body and hand. My hand is touching my cheek. I realize I am the one in the middle and I have the prettiest face.

When we went out of the ladies room, there are people or students everywhere. I saw some guys turning their heads on me. We kept on walking. Someone is calling me on my phone and one of my girl friends, carry all my things so that I can answer the call comfortably. While talking to someone, he is a man by the way, I saw people looking at me. I really got their attention because maybe of the face I'm wearing. I'm pretty at last, but only in my dream. The man I was talking with was walking towards me and I never been look at like that. That man is Jimin, Jimin of BTS. I don't know why he is in my dream.

When I woke up, I suddenly missed being pretty. I went to the mirror and look at my face. I have three pimples, I have combination of dry and oily face, I have big nose, I'm fat, I'm small and I don't look good. Yes, that is my own review of my physical appearance and I am looking for the confidence that never been with me, that I wish I have so that I could carry and accept all of my imperfections.

While travelling going to work, I remember again the pretty me in my dream. I was thinking, is that really me or that is what I want to be? Dream is also a reflections of our plans and decisions that is why sometimes when we dream of something, it affects our decision that leads to changes. I realize, that is what I want to be. I love the feeling of attention and I love to hear how pretty I am.

Before I got into my destination, our office, as I was walking, I realize, even if I am pretty, for sure I still have insecurities because whatever you do, there is still someone that is better than you. Everyone is aiming for the best. Also, if I get the pretty face, for sure I will get flaws in some areas like, maybe I don't have talent, I cannot sing or dance. Maybe I have the pretty face but I am dumb or not that smart. Maybe I am pretty but I could not be kind or sweet as I am am. Maybe I have the pretty face but could not be as humble as I am. You cannot have it all. You cannot be all at the same time. You need to have imperfections.

And I realize, maybe I don't look good on some people but my family and friends love me for who I am and they can accept me of who I will become in the future. I don't have the prettiest face but I'm good in sharing jokes, I am a funny person for my friends. I am sweet and thoughtful. I take care of them, I am a good listener. Maybe my physical appearance is not appealing or even become a laughing stock, but I am a wonderful person. I have been through lots of problems and challenges in the past that when you ask my advise, I could give you the best one. I become stronger through times. I am tough, you can lean on me. I am not greedy and selfish. I value everyone regardless if I matter to them or not.

I am perfectly made by God to do a purpose here on earth. I could be an angel in disguise. I could save lives without my awareness. I am an animal person, I love pets, I rescue them. I love my family and people who loves me will experience the best kind of love too. I only have the average face, sometimes I look awful, my body is not proportion, I don't have the best clothes, but I'm okay. God don't have standard in beauty because regardless of people's criticism, God loves me. My family loves me. Maybe I am just seeking comfort for not being pretty, and in a matter of an hour, I realize, I'm fine. I am good. I am perfectly made for the purpose I have to face.

Remember you are not ugly. What ugly is an attitude of belittling people and focusing on their flaws is funny. We have lots to do. There are lot of important things to do, attitude to change, people to help, to look on inspiration, to enjoy and feel excited and to appreciate little things rather than looking at yourself in the mirror and telling you are bot enough.

You are wonderful! You are awesome. No matter who you are, where you from, where you at, what you are before, you are amazing. You made lots of mistakes in the past, maybe some people don't forgive you and cannot accept you, but there will be people that will fing you and embrace you.

Regardless of what beauty means to you, you are beautiful. You just need to live as you because someone need you, someone believes in you, someone look after you, someone depends on you. The next time you feel ugly, remember this thoughts of mine, your imperfections is just perfect for a beautiful you.

Before I end this post, just want yo appreciate these beautiful people who gave me hope!! My sponsors!!

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