June 3, 2022

Hello to the most awesome writer of this cool platform!! Guys, first thing that I will be grateful for today is we have this platform that we can share our daily lives, our thoughts could be express less judgement by the people around us and you feel welcome to do that whatever time you need too!! Beside expressing our thoughts, we are paid a little. Isn't it amazing!!

Well today is my day 4 of Gratitude Challenge. I know I cannot do it on daily but I will finish this challenge. Today I will be talking about a part of my body that I am grateful for today.

What's working well in your body right now that you're most grateful for?

Today, I am happy to tell you guys that my shoulder, arms and hands are working well, it is because I am not working for today. I filed vacation leave to rest and I never felt awesome. I realized that stress really burns me up and it makes my body tired. When I am working at the office, when there are lot of things going on there, even it is only half way of the day, I feel tired already. This is because my brain is tired and I know it signals my other parts to feel tired to so that I will slow down or take a rest. With a stubborn me that always has a goal to finish my work on time, to go home on time, I tend to force myself to finish everything. I don't take it slow, I work quickly with full understanding and awareness. Am I hard to myself, yes I am, but what can I do when the work is very demanding?

I felt the difference now. I like the feeling of a body that do not feel any pain. I like my reaction that I will just laugh at the video I watch and just sitting in the couch without my other hand massaging my arms, hands and shoulder. I didn't whine that I can't move comfortably or sit good, and instead of resting when I am home, I am looking for a pain reliever and a water to drink. I don't have those. I skip exercise for today because I feel good. Not that it will cause pain, but I just love the feeling of being comfortable with my body. This should happen regularly.

I am grateful for my body. Yes, I have to admit that everyday, as I look in the mirror, I am seeing a fat small woman, that looks like no blood at all and with dry skin. You are reading it right. This writers has lots of insecurities with her body. That ugly words I am saying to myself every day is not good. Don't be like me. However, I am not ill. With all my imperfections, I am functioning well. I belong to human race with all of my mistakes. I am not proud, but I can change. I can still be as good looking as everyone even though I am the fat small woman. What I really need is a healthy mindset and a genuine love for myself.

Stress signals pain. Pain signals there is something wrong that I need to put my attention. To make my life comfortable, I should not stress myself and that's it. Not easy for my high functioning anxiety, but I will do my best to solve my issue. We only have one body and one life, we need to make it matters now.

Images from Unsplash