"I'm sorry"
That is what you should say when you hurt someone. Yesterday, I tried writing this article but I just couldn't. So many voices in my head as I tried to pill off an old scar.
They say time heals but I guess they lied because every time I think of you, my heart bleeds.
Do you remember "Always and Forever", I guess forever isn't very long looking at how things turned out.
"I need a break" became an anthem for us, one minute we are together, and the next we are not. You needed space for no reason. It makes No sense no matter how hard I tried to be the understanding boyfriend I thought I was.
What do you mean when one minute you say yes and a second later you say no, you say you want to be with me and later I'm the worst person on the planet.
Remember all the long talks about how we would spend our lives together, fighting and settling every time. Do you remember our imaginary Children, 2 girls, and a boy?
Where are U now? I hope you are happy. I haven't seen you in years yet the very thoughts of you rip me apart when I think of what we could be.
You gave me purpose when I had none, you helped me become a better version of myself and I believe I did the same to you
So where did it all go wrong? Was I no longer a good Company to you? How did the love die? - these questions plague my weary mind all through the night when I can't fall asleep.
Nothing could destroy the Feeling we had for each other, we were the dream couples. It has always been you through it all, the one I could rely on, share my troubles with as well as my tales of triumphs.
Then it started, the one thing responsible for the end of a lot of relationships - "Trust". I thought we had that but the seeds of doubt had been planted deep in your mind and everything I did suddenly felt supervised, the constant feeling of being watched and interrogated.
We are who we are not by what people say about us but by how we define ourselves. I am no cheater hence the reason for the shock when I was accused of such. How did you get that idea implanted in their tricky mind? I often wondered.
I was all in it but I guess you just weren't ready. This is understandable of course, we were both young, filled with a lot of life goals and ambitions. With a heavy heart, I had to let it go.
It's true, it hurts sometimes but I will get used to it. I did move on as I'm sure you would have guessed, in the end, Life is worth living.
I have comes to the point in my life where my life goals are now a priority. Mark my words when I say this, even though these scars refuse to heal, I will overcome them.
"I will show you what you are missing" - is what a young naive boy would have said years ago, not this young man. I have finally realized that growing up comes with responsibilities, the type that would often affect the whole trajectory of your life.
Goodbye to old scars, you can go and love yourself if that would make you feel better. No pressure, It's time to leave the past in the past and I hope I have done just that. I had to get this off my chest.
Writing is therapy for me, I have been burdened with these thoughts for a while now and I felt it was time to let it go.
I had to be creative with this one after reading the beautifully composed article by @HappyBoy one of my amazing sponsors...click here to view the article
I chose Justin Beiber as the artiste of this article featuring all his songs from his Album- Purpose which was released in 2015. I could relate to most of his lyrics since I was dealing with something similar at the time.
Love is pain, love hurts, you can't want one without expecting the other, it is no mystery that the one you love the most is the same person who is capable of hurting you the most. I often hear people say time heals everything, I can't say they are correct but it does get better. Though the battle may leave scars, it is not a bad thing. These scars remind us of the lessons we have had and how best to forge ahead. Take those lessons to heart, it is all part of the growth process.
Although not every relationship works out at first and some might leave you with scars that could take longer than most to heal, do not be scared to love again. Love is a beautiful thing, the greatest force of all. Cherish what you have while you still can, not when it is gone.
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I feel your emotions and state of heart while reading this. Indeed, scars are part of us. This is the proof that regardless of everything that we have faced, we still come out strong. Our past will never defined our future, unless we let it happen.