Lying is wrong, always say the truth at all times" - we were told while growing up. We did listen until we discovered that sometimes telling the truth would get us punished so we lied.
Kids are not really good liars, they often get caught in the act. Adults on the other hand are very good at it, a skill well-honed over the years as they matured in life.
"Mummy, where do babies come from?" What was your answer to this when your baby asked you for the first time?
But You see, not all lies are bad and not all lies are good. We often lie to protect something or someone we love (which could also be ourselves). The intention behind every lie is what qualifies it as being bad or good.
"If saying the truth wouldn't make anyone feel better, don't say it" - I heard this while watching a movie a whole back- "The good doctor", you should check it out, a lot of lessons to be learned.
It made me question myself
"Would it be wide to wise to keep the truth hidden even though it will come out eventually?"
"Three things that can not be long hidden, the Sun, the Moon, the Truth"- I got this from the movie, Teen Wolf, it was a mantra recited by members of Scott's pack to help keep their werewolf side at bay during the full moon.
Why do we lie then?
There are a couple of reasons I can think of as to why people lie
To save you
This is what I often refer to as "Selfish lie" and it is the most common type of lie. We lie to save our heads from problems or to keep problems out.
Is it wrong to want to save yourself? - No, as long as you are not hurting anyone whilst trying to do so.
To save someone
This is the self-sacrificial sort or the "Selfless lie". To me, it feels a bit hypocritical and most people who do this do it to either attain for a wrong they have caused or in the hope that they find favor in the eyes of the punisher. My uncle always says "listen up little man, no one does anything without expecting something in return, it is a question of what"
Would you lie to save someone without expecting anything in return? - I know most Moms would for their child, that is the purest form of love if you ask me which leads me to the next reason.
For love
Lying for love is one of the purest types of lies. Though the truth might end up coming out again in the future but at that moment you just want the person you love to be happy, so you take all the blame and accept all the guilt, such lies are rare but they do happen.
Because they can
Some people just lie because they can, not for any just reason and this is very bad. Such behaviors need to be tackled early on because they could grow to become something else. Such traits can be difficult to end but not impossible.
You simply have no choice
When your boss tells you to lie, would you agree to it or not?
There are lies that we tell that are not ours but simply following instructions. Although I do know of a man who quit his job because he said his religion wouldn't allow him to tell a lie, stupid or sane is opened for argument.
Conclusion
We say we lie to prevent someone from getting hurt now, but what about the future when it comes out, won't it hurt even more than it would now. Would it not be a great service to let it hurt for now then very late into the future?
I have lied several times to save myself from getting punished, I'm sure we all have at certain points in our lives, and it's good when it works and we are saved but bad when it fails and we accept the consequences of our actions.
Some Pathological liars just lie for no good reason. They lie because they can not because it's necessary, now that is a serious problem to look at. That is the " bad" type of lying according to me.
Lying for no reason is what I would consider wrong but it doesn't end there. If telling a lie would mean someone would get hurt, don't.
While you might think you have gotten away with it do not forget that what goes around comes around. It would do you well to ask for forgiveness if you have hurt someone, trust me.
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Usually lies have short legs, the truth always comes out. So I prefer a painful truth than a sweet lie that in the end causes me more pain.