Harmony is gone

I sat down alone with thoughts, trying to understand why bad things have to happen to good people. Trying to understand why we people need to die, why can't we just live forever? Sounds stupid, I know, but just don't say it to someone who just lost someone he loves.

I'm here sitting in my corner, screaming my throats out but no one can hear me, no is listening, loneliness hits harder. I hate the way I'm feeling. I'm angry with the world. Why do you have to take my boy's life?

I stand in a corner seeing my little sister cry over this big loss to the family. I try to act tough and strong as I scream at her to stop crying so as not to attract people's attention. Before I could utter any words, the tears come crashing out like endless waves. I'm not the type to break easily but not this time. I left to the scene to cry in silence.

I come back to stare at his lifeless body. I can't leave him out here like this, he deserves a proper burial. When you've raised someone from childbirth to adulthood, it takes a big toll on you when you lose them.

It seems like it was just yesterday when he came into our lives. He was very playful and restless, always causing a mess and crying all night. As he grew up, we got closer, I could talk to him about what was bothering me and surprisingly he understood, he had a weird way of comforting me. He would roll on the floor playful until I smiled. He knew when I was happy, sad, and angry.

I couldn't continue staring at him, he deserves a proper burial. I need to be strong, no more crying, it's time to straighten up. He had a good life, he lived well and died well. He had been feeling down for a while, the doctors said it was because he was getting old. Silly of me to think he would be with me forever.

As I dug the ground to bury him, I'm reminded of all the good times we had. He loved when I rubbed his stomach. He would jump on me whenever I got back from school, oftentimes staining my clothes but I wouldn't mind because I was missing him too. I always had treats for him, so he would hover around my bag until I had given it to him.

Recently, he stopped playing, which was why I took him to the veterinary clinic for a check-up, they didn't see anything wrong with him but he started eating less, playing less, and sleeping more. This evening, I called him to have his dinner but he just walked up to me, I guess to say goodbye, he didn't even touch the food before he walked away. I knew something was up because I made his favorite food.

Later, I went to check his kernel, he wasn't there, that was when I saw his lifeless body on the porch. I prayed it was a prank and he would wake up, but he didn't. Tears filled my eyes as I screamed for him to wake up before breaking the news to the family.

It's a sad day for me, a sad day indeed. November 1 will now represent the day I lost Harmony. What a way to start a new month, I woke up this morning filled with excitement but I'm going to bed filled with pain, sorrow, and heartache. If I had the power to turn back time to when he was little just to play with him one last time, I would.

Dogs are very loyal, Harmony was. I hate to use the past tense but it's time for me to accept the reality. He has created a void in the family, one that won't be easily filled. He is gone now but his memories will live on. I'm not ashamed to say I cried, I might still do that once I drop this device, he was my best friend.

It is with a heavy heart that I say goodbye to my boy. I do not know where dogs go when they die, but wherever he is right now he's happy. He's probably up to some of the mischief I thought him. Rest on Harmony, rest on my little wolf.

Lead Image Source from me, it was the last picture I took of him. It was the day I got back from school, he was very excited to see me as he laid on the ground for some attention and to manipulate me into giving him treats, smart boy.