Do you SAY NO when someone ask you a favor or are you the type of person who would just say YES?
Have you ever tried saying NO and thought how convenient is it on your part and how fulfilling it feels?
STORY TIME
I actually drafted this article few weeks ago but just can't find the time and thoughts to continue it. So here it goes.
So just earlier today my mom was approached by our neighbor. She said:
Is your youngest daughters cellphone original?
My mom was stand to the question coz it is kinda sound insulting but she prefer to act normal and asked:
Well I am not so sure since I am not familiar with phones, but why d'yo ask?
Then our neighbor replied:
My daughters charger won't work and she is about to attend her online class I wonder if I can borrow your daughters charger?
My mom said:
Sorry but I am not comfortable with allowing my child to let someone borrow the things valuable to them. She is also attending online classes and we have this rule in the house that if your charger won't work, make sure to let me or her sister know so we could buy a new one. Coz we believe that borrowing one charger for a different unit or model of phone might either damage the phones performance or the chargers functionality in the future especially if its not compatible.
Before you could even judge my mom, other than the reason she mentioned above, what we try to avoid is also the fact that buying original charger is expensive and if something happens to any of our chargers we may find it hard to purchase a brand new one. Especially that we are on a tight budget. We also can't tell if this neighbor would take responsibility.
It may sound harsh but never force yourself to pretend you are okay over something you are not.
Learn to say NO when a favor is already making you uncomfortable or putting too much trouble on you. We need to set some barriers and it is never too late to make people realize that they would also have to consider YOU.
The thing about being always OKAY with anything for everyone you may be abused. In such a way that they would always ask for the same favor over again and when a time that you decline you became the evil of the story.
We have to set a straight boundary. Let people know that if they borrow a certain thing from you then they should return it on the day that they are told. Put a note for everyone that they aren't allowed to enter your room when you aren't around if that's what makes you comfortable.
I for one is a breadwinner. At times, even my relatives would go to me and ask for help. There were couple of times that even my allowance for work I would have to sacrifice just to give it to who may need it and just go to work with only a fare to ride a bus not knowing where to get money for my lunch or snack when I get hungry. Later on, as I realized that I shouldn't be doing this to myself and learned to say "NO" I was tagged as "GREEDY".
I still remembered how I cried myself inside the comfort room because I was hungry and I have to cry my nervousness before I could have the courage to ask for my colleagues to lend me some money because I fell short with my budget.
I remembered when my face would numb when I am asked WHY am I always borrowing money? And I couldn't say anything.
What made me realize that I should set boundaries or barriers and learn to say NO?
One day, my daughters ran out of diaper and milk. It was 2 days before my actual payday and NO ONE from those that I asked ever lend me some money which I understood because I know they are budgetting as well.
So my partner had to beg our neighbor who has a store to have us get what we need and we will pay right after 2 days. But it was almost 10PM and my daughters were crying for milk already. So while waiting I had to mix some brown sugar in a water and give it to them.
From there I promised myself, this will never ever happen again! NEVER!
I cried so hard that day as I blamed myself that my children has to experience such before I realize they should be my priority.
...end thoughts...
Set things straight. It is never too late to set boundaries. Be honest. Say NO! Let others realize it is alway NOT OKAY.
Wew! It feels good to vent out a lil. Thank you for reading my article. Do not hesitate to share your thoughts on the comment section! I'd love to read and learn from your experience as well.
Hahahaha, natawa ako sa kapitbahay nyo. So kuny sinagot ni mader mo na fake un di na siya hihiram hahaha. Pero ako naman di din talaga sa pagdadamot pero ganyan din ako. Abay wala naman akong kwarta mamalit if ever masira ng hihiram. Maigi ng ang tingin nila sakin ay maimot at least malayo sa delubyo ung gamit ko, di ko naman sure if mapapalitan un ee.