The 90/10 principle is said to be introduced by Mr. Stephen Covey. This states that 10% of our life is related to external facts and 90% is determined with how we react with those events. There are things we can't control like weather, public transportation or what other people do.
One of my Supervisor introduced this principle to me. Way back I was full of negativity, I often reacts to a simple comment and feels bad to a single criticism. I am way too soft that it comes to a point where I get so conscious with myself. Since I am a breadwinner, it is a struggle for me to buy myself a new pair of clothes or even just a single shirt so my officemate would often tell me I don't look good and that they can't understand my fashion. I am not so certain if my supervisor might have heard anything but during our coaching he told me, "we control 90 percent of what is happening in our life. and there is only 10 percent of it that we can't so ideally whatever happens to us would be because how we react on those uncontrollable events".
In call center industry, coaching means a 30 mins 1 on 1 session with your supervisor to talk about your performance or anything about the job.
He also added, " there are things that are not worth fighting for Glez so choose your battle".
So I realize, yes, why should I care about other peoples opinion when they don't even matter?
But you know what, criticisms if only delivered in a proper manner or in such a way that won't make someone feel low and embarrassed could be a great help in someone's improvement. I could have taken it like they cared for me. It is just that the way they deliver it hurts me because it makes me realize how unlucky I was. There are just some people who thinks you are always okay with whatever they would say or do to you just because you were close friends. Jokes for me are half meant. From then on, I just simply smile whenever I hear criticisms and accept it. Whenever I receive any additional incentive I see to it that I have something for myself and buy some decent or office clothes. I had the courage to even ask some of my trusted friends to go with me on a thrift shop. Yes THRIFT SHOP! (LOL). I feel guilty going to mall and to buy myself an expensive stuffs so why not get some thrift clothes yeah?!
Anyway, no one would know that your clothes just costs some couple of cents or pesos plus there are cases that you get to see branded/imported clothes which still looks decent to wear in the office or anywhere.
Criticisms often makes you improve but when delivered in an improper way it can also break you especially when your colleagues are looking and/or laughing at you. We should be kind in providing criticisms because not all people can handle it in public and it may affect someone's mental health.
Other example of 90/10 principle is when you are running late then all of a sudden someone takes over the available parking space you were eyeing. Cursing or shouting at anyone won't do good. It will just continue to ruin your whole day. We cannot control time but we can control other things like being LATE for example you have to stop watching KPOP or playing ML when it is time to sleep so you won't be late for school or work. Make sure to manage your time well and write down important things to do.
With my article entitled PREMONITION, I received some comments saying that I was so strong in handling my experiences. This principle actually played the biggest part in order to manage it. Though it still affects me, but I get to manage it well than ever before. I had to learn on accepting things are way out of control.
And I quit, yep (in a good way), I quit comparing myself to others. I quit feeling self pity just because someone is smarter that me or better than me because in reality there will always be someone who stands out and it doesn't happen to be me so I learned to accept my flaws and enhance my skills.
What is meant to be it will be.
Thank you for reading my article! I highly appreciate your time. What do you think with this content? Can you share your thoughts?
I always appreciate criticism that is told to me directly. I appreciate it when people correcting me. I wear cheap clothes and it's even nicer than my expensive clothes. :)