Inside My Mind.
"Never speak from a place of hate, jealousy, anger, or insecurity. Evaluate your words before you let them leave your lips. Sometimes it's best to be quiet" _ Tony A Gaskins Jr.
I am a type that is not so judgmental, I say a lot of things on my mind instead of speaking out. Sometimes,I think it doesn't matter to speak. Though voices need to be heard to know what the mind thinks.
It is a common thing here to experience greeting a person without hearing any response from the person. Sometimes, it could be just a response that seems better not to come out, a response that isn't worth it.
Have you ever greeted someone, a stranger or maybe a random person or visitor and the person did not reply to your greetings? What is that that you think and say in your mind?..
When I was younger, I was at a time perfect in having lots of things to say inside my mind. When I am annoyed and know that I'll be rude to reply, I do reply with lots of words inside my mind. I really say a lot to myself or ventriloquy. That was the only way little me could reply without being termed rude or even beaten up in the name of "lack of respect".
African parents are so lovely but can be difficult most of the time. I remember one rainy day my elder brother was told to wash the dishes which he refused because it was raining. Mom persuaded him but still he refused. I had to go wash those dishes although not under the rain. I wasn't happy to do that anyway but as the last born of the house, I had to "obey the last command" hehe. As I washed, I was angry and spoke some unheard and angry words to myself. I knew that if someone should hear what I said, it might attract a scolding. So to avoid that, I ventriloquy and made so many complaints all in my head.
When dinner was served, my elder brother was called by my mom to take his dinner. By that time, he had forgotten he screwed up by not washing the dishes. That was an opportunity for my mom to take revenge 😂. He was flogged till he cried. Right inside my mind, I was happy about that because while washing, in my mind I said "big bro will never wash the dishes but he'll always eat with the ones I washed. If it was me that refused to wash them, I would be flogged but now, there he is getting away with it"
The truth is that, we will always have something unspoken in our mind. Not minding whether we are happy, angry or jealous about someone or something. This thing in our mind matters because it reflects the truth about what we think in situations.
It could be in a situation that:
"Lizzie was asked to give some money to her mom when she returned. Her mother would go to the market with the money to buy their dinner. Mom came home but Lizzie misplaced the money. Lizzie was just eight years old " what would you do if you were her Mom?
My own mom would:
She would be angry at Lizzie but won't do anything to her. She would look at the little girl with maybe anger but will hold the anger back to herself because Lizzie is just a child.
In her thoughts..
"You're just so lucky to be small. If not, you would have provided that money today. She wouldn't scold her much as she would if Lizzie was an adult. She would consider flogging her but no! Shes so young for that 😂"
This was what happened at work..
"The manager entered and everyone was busy with work. He walked round and round checking for what was known to him alone before taking the stairs to his office. On the stairs, I was coming down with my colleague and as we walked past him, we greeted just in front of him but he didn't say a word. We didn't bother to say anymore and looked at ourselves nodding simultaneously. My colleague's face changed immediately in anger. She has felt she was snubbed for no reason and because it was the manager, she doesn't have to compromise him verbally but did so inside. She probably revealed funny things she said in her mind but I won't mention them.
She was angry because she felt neglected and made such thinking that could make someone lose his/her job in seconds.
Sometimes the world we say isn't the actual thoughts in the mind. They were said politely to reduce whatever damage the true ones might cause and that is wisdom. It is true that we think before we speak because whatever we say is what the mind has supplied but we still have to give a second thinking sometimes before speaking out loud. I have seen someone get hit angrily because of what she said in reply and lose her tooth. If she had remained calm, her teeth would have been complete.
The same thing applies in our homes, office and social gatherings.
Thank you for reading and have a lovely Sunday
@Gianna-B and all rights reserved.
Lead image taken from unsplash.com