Relationship Manual.

Gone are the days when we needed manuals to operate every new device we acquired before the massive availability of technology products even in underdeveloped countries, today we can use different types of small techs with the help of the Internet by just watching how-to-do videos.

The era of manual was great but the challenge with it was that you have to read and find your way through the device but now, you just watch videos and get things done yourself. Humans have stepped up in a lot of ways but I discovered some are still stuck with approaching or handling their relationship with a manual.

The relationship manual is not necessarily a written down guideline on how to run your relationship, it can be things we have seen, heard, or experienced regarding relationships that we use as a guide for our own life. It is a good thing and can be very terrible at the same time.

Don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with having a role model. Someone you are trying to emulate how his or her relationship is working well forgetting that every relationship has its imperfection. We don't understand that many of these perfect relationships we admire have huge flaws that are been handled well by lovers indoors and some just pretend to be perfect in the public but due to our impatience we copy their steps and when we discover it is not as cool as they said, we run out of the relationship.

It is easier living a life of your own than trying to imitate others' style of handling things in their life or relationship.

I had a conversation with a friend whose girlfriend blocked him on WhatsApp because of a meaningless misunderstanding, he canceled their date because he had to get something done at work.

She got really mad because it meant a lot to her and the location is somewhere she has been craving for but I believe that shouldn't be an issue since they could go some other time. After tbe conversation, she went silent the whole day and all his attempts trying to reach her failed. He used a friend's phone and immediately she heard his voice, she ended the call.

The guy made up his made to let go of the relationship and while I was trying to talk him back into begging her, he explained some things to me. He made it clear that his girlfriend told him of a similar situation where her friend's boyfriend traveled for something important and his girlfriend blocked him because he exceeded the day he said he was going to use. The guy had to run down to Lagos just to apologize to his lover and he couldn't achieve the purpose of his traveling.

I didn't get his point until he said that his girlfriend has been handling her relationship based on what she sees others do meaning she blocked my friend because her friend did it and it worked for her. He further explained that it has been her usual behavior of judging him or treating him the way her friends are doing to their lover.

I became speechless and didn't know what else to say.

It is still funny to me how some people still can't understand that we are all created differently but uniquely. We think differently, we act differently, we approach things differently and that is why what worked for Mr. and Mrs. A in their relationship might not work for Mr. and Mrs. B.

Aside from love, there are traits we must naturally possess before considering going into a relationship.

1. Understanding one another in a relationship is a priority for the persons involved. A relationship that lacks understanding would crash no matter how long it lasts and the funny thing is that very minor things would make them break up just like my friend is intending to do.

There will always be conflict due to disagreement, it doesn't build but destroy relationships.

2. The ability to tolerate things in a relationship is compulsory because it is impossible not to have either of the two lovers exhibit some childish behavior once in a while. Both sides in the relationship must have the ability to tolerate and it mustn't be a trait for a particular gender.

I do get tired after tolerating one thing habit severally. If I have complained about one thing many times, it makes me mad so I do urge people not to take their partner's tolerance for granted.

I discourage people from wishing for other kinds of relationships because there is a huge chance you might not survive handling those relationships you are craving for.

My cousin always wanted a guy with packs, a perfect athlete body just like her friend had while she is obese. She wasn't considering that her friend kept shape that an athlete would love, this made her get used because she was always throwing herself at guys that take advantage of her.

She stopped opening up to me because I told her that she wouldn't get what she wanted except she worked on herself.

I don't think this was the scenario during our parents time, our generation handle relationship differently and it has made us seen the worse because were are not ready to make sacrifices but we expect someone to do that for us in the name of love, we want someone to give us everything we wouldn't try to give someone. I am not saying a relationship is a give and take kind of thing but you should have something that would work smoothly with the kind of relationship you want.

Someone coming out to boast about their relationship doesn't warrant you to wish for the same because you don't know the sacrifice and effort the person is putting into his or her relationship and that doesn't stop you from getting the best for yourself but that should be when you have reached your own best as well.

You want a neat guy, that automatically means you must be neat. You want the intelligent type, you must work on yourself as well so that when he or she comes, it would be a good match.

Relationship doesn't have a manual, just do things the best way you can when in it. Using other people's lives or relationships to handle yours can make yours crash because of our difference and the unknown things others never shared with us about their relationship. Above all, choose and settle in with what makes you happy.

Lead image.