It is very unfortunate to see lots of people who have fallen one way or the other due to their open arms to embrace people and refer to them as friends, I don't criticize keeping friends but I encourage people to keep their circle small. I say this very often in gatherings when discussing or hanging out with people but many think that's my way of life because they see me as an addicted introvert who loves keeping to him always.
I will treat a question people mostly ask me when I tell them you don't need a thousand friends before you can have a good life but first, who is a friend?
Most people define friendship wrongly, it is beyond just calling, texting, chatting, hanging out, gossiping, and other silly things we do. I don't dispute the fact that these things happen between friends but it is just more than that, it is more than physical availability or physical presence, it involves the things we do even in our absence.
At one point, I started counting myself unlucky when it comes to having friends because I was poor at keeping up socially with the people I call friends and this makes them drop me out quickly. My friends today are just too understanding because despite not keeping in touch they still call me when opportunities come up and I do the same for them as well. We check on each other not often and we might not even see each other in a year but I can confide in them so much than people who are around me always.
Virtual friends
Since the introduction of crypto blogging, I have made a lot of virtual friends and it surprises me how we role along easily with the fear of been betrayed. We all ain't lucky with that but I can say that my virtual friends have impacted my life positively than I thought it would be.
It is becoming a trend, every day we hear one friend's betrayal story on social media. We easily get deceived with little acts of friendship from people and these make us open up ourselves to enemies who disguise as friends.
Read the stories below:
A guy was caught on camera poisoning his friend's drink during his housewarming. The surprising thing was that he did it while his friend was dancing with the drink in his hand, the culprit distracted his friend with a side hug just to drop the poison in the drink.
Unfortunately for the victim, he didn't make it because the poison was too strong. The culprit was arrested but that won't bring the deceased back to life.
Another scenario I saw was a lady who excused herself to use the toilet while having fun with her so-called friends. While she was away, her friends poured hard drugs into her drink out of jealousy because she is the prettiest among them.
She came back and drank the rest of the content in her cup not knowing what they did to the drink while she wasn't there. A few minutes later, she started acting up due to the drugs. She almost ran mad, she tore her clothes and was completely naked.
These same friends of hers recorded her video and sent it online for the whole world to see, people laughed at her for taking hard drugs but when she was relieved, she explained what happened. She was filled with regrets and shame, she pleaded with people to help her take down the video from the Internet.
I want everyone to understand that not everyone who smiles or laughs with you is a friend, the fake ones out there are more than the real ones. Some people just get closer to know your secrets so that they can take you down out of their dark and jealous hearts.
Can we live without friends?
Honestly, from my personal experience - it is difficult to live alone without friends and it'll become boring if you choose to live by yourself regardless of how rich you are, you always need people around you.
The good thing is that you don't necessarily need lots of people to enjoy life the best way you can and don't be surprised that very few good people can play the role of thousands in one's life...
Keep your circle small.
Regardless of how rich or influential you are, it is important that you keep your circle as small as possible to avoid unnecessary drama. This doesn't guarantee you from not getting hurt but it can reduce your exposure to things that can hurt you.
As I mentioned earlier, keeping your circle small doesn't save you from having someone you call a friend to betray you because people are very good at pretending, they will disguise as a complete angel just to cause havoc.
I always have the mindset that a smaller circle will at worst bring a smaller problem, keeping your circle small can make you pay attention to everyone and it is easy to track your relationship with everyone but when you have them in excess, you can hardly know if something is not right.
Things I look forward to when choosing friends: When mingling with people, I am careful of the ones I refer to as friends, and below are the things that are looked at when choosing friends
Religious type.
Depending on our religion, I think been a religious person is something I always look forward to when choosing my friends. Been a religious person doesn't guarantee that someone will be a good one but sometimes, I have always have the soft spot for people who are devoted to their religion.
I believe religions teach morals and if they are applying them to our friendship, it would be great.
Background: the background of the person I call friend matters to me and that's why I get close to my few friend's families so that I can be sure of the kind of what and how they behave in their family.
Attitude: The behavior of the person matters to me as well, we all ain't perfect but there are some attitudes I can't keep around me.
Lifestyle: I am a very quiet person and some people still wonder who I am on my street because I try to avoid every possible issue in the neighborhood and I wouldn't go for a person who will bring trouble to me.
Values: I consider what values the person will be adding to my life because I will be adding values to the friend's life as well. What is the point of having friends that can't support you, inspire you, a friend that can not help you up when you are down?
Friends are meant to bring themselves opportunities, give successful advice, bring businesses idea, they are meant to protect one another but it is the other way round. They rather bring themselves down instead of lifting themselves which is very ridiculous
Above all, we all must commit our engagement with everyone into God's hands and always pray for protection against the evil ones.
Who knows if the real enemy is our best friend? I encourage people to always take their family as best friends, it is the best thing you can do when it comes to having friends.
As for me sir, I had friends but not as much as it is. Maybe because, I really have trust issues long time ago. I can't trust easily to anyone. And for now, most of my friends are on virtual world, in this world particularly.