Things to be considered before saying "I do"

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2 years ago
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Hello reader's and writer's, i am not still feeling well after the vaccine, but i hope you guys are all well.

One of my goal for this whole month of September was to publish one article every day, so i hope i can be able published one tonight.

This article was just base on my experience as all of us has a different story.

My partner and I aren't yet married. But we are already living together and had a baby.

We just meet online, we've been in a long distance relationship for almost four years, before we decided to go back here in the Philippines for good. Since we are both working in abroad as an OFW, but in different countries. The decision was made by the two of us. But before that we have already bought our own house, as our plan was to getting married.

In four years being in a long distance was a quiet hard, specially that we have a time difference. I thought I know him that much, so i trusted him. I thought I made the right decision. Sounds i regretted it right? Hahahha Actually half or 50/50 I'm not really sure if i must regret it. I won't deny that there were times that i really wanted to end this relationship, i found that our relationship was stressful. In short sometimes i feel that I'm not happy. But watching my son brings me a lot of guilt. I was born in a simple family with a father and a mother. So i found it unfair if i will separate him to his father. I also don't like that my son will grow up with a broken family.

It's been one year and nine months since we are living together. Most of the time we're like a cat and a dog. I found that we are an opposite attract. He has different point and i have mine. We mostly argued in such a small thing, actually it's nonsense if we are just being mature.

I can say that I'm a hard-headed and childish. I'm not perfect but atleast I'm independent. I can take care of our son and his parents likes me.

I don't like missy surroundings while he can stand on it. I don't like a bully person but he loves to bully me and it ended to arguments.

I don't like a lazy person and he was🀦. But he is a good provider for our son, he loves our son so much and my son love him that much. He was my son's favourite playmate too.

I don't like insensitive person and sad to say he was. Even he saw me struggling he won't care to help me. He had lots of time to his phone and never mind about me. And that makes me angry.

He doesn't listen to me and for him I'm always wrong. He looked himself perfect and I'm imperfect. Though he knows the fact that there's no perfect in this world.

I feel like I'm being treated unfairly. Whenever I want to tell him what i feel he won't listen and just ignore me. There were times that i saw how much irritated he was at me and sometimes shout at me for being so dramatic. He called me so dramatic. And that hurt's me a lot. I feel like I have no freedom to express my real feeling.

For this short time, I can tell that sometimes I'm emotionally tired. I wanted to skip this reality but i always think about my son. I know he will be affected with whatever decision i will make.

But somehow, I'm staying in the positive sides. I know it's too early for me to make a decision as we are just starting to build a stronger relationship. That this is just a trial for us. A challenge to be considered.

We actually planned to get married last year, but the pandemic ruin our plans. And now i can tell that it's a good thing that it happened πŸ˜‚.

By this experience i realize that there were really important things that we must consider before committing marriage life.

Real intention:

Before you say i do or even before you make a decision of having an intimate relationship make sure you are really sure about the person's real intention for you. Make sure that the person has a pure heart and his love was real.

Attitude:

They say that you can only know the person's real attitude once you both are living in the same roof. Where you both can see each other 24/7 and by that you can see the person's attitude in any kind of situation. For how short and for how long was the person's patience according to the situation or even in any trials. And that was right. So you better know the person well before you make a decision and if you can,please don't make a baby yet. πŸ˜… Incase you realise something no one will get affected.

Love:

Know how much that person really loves you, and you can see that once the person accepts you even in your flaws. Accept your weaknesses and imperfections.

Plan's:

For me it is also important to know the person's plans. To you and to your future childrens. I guess to every couples plan's is a must.

Respect:

Know how much that person will respect you, throughout the day. How he will respect your decisions and plan's.

Support:

Would you see that person as one of your top supporters or would that person be one of those who wanted to drag you down?

It is important to see how much that person will support you through your ups and downs. It is important to have a partner who will help you rise and stays beside you when you fall.

Trust:

It is important to have trust in any kind of relationship. You must consider that trust was with both of you.

Family:

Would it be also important to have a good relationship with the person's family?

For me yes, because there were times that if the person's family don't like you it sometimes brings problem to your relationship. Sometimes it is also the reason why your relationship don't ended up successful.

Well it is still up to both of you. There were some couples who choose to live far from their families, if there's an issue with the first family.

And those are the most important things for me to be considered, before getting married.

How about yours?

Feel free to comment down below and i love to read it.

Thank you for dropping by.

Published by yours truly;

GarrethGrey07

September 25,2021 23:58

Lead image source:

https://www.womanpulse.com/getting-organized-married-life/

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Comments

So your partner is not like what you expected but thats good atleast he is a good provider for your son. I agree trust, care,love and respect are important factors to be looked upon before heading toward the relationship.

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Kind of, but I'm still hoping that one day he can see my worth and change his attitude for us.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

That's a really good point! We don't know someone's true self until we are with them 24/7 or at least be with them for a long time. From what used to be an angel can turn into a devil if we're not smart enough

$ 0.01
2 years ago

True, so it was really important to know the person before marrying.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Pinakaimportante siguro para sa akin is yung maganda ang attitude mapagmahal at madiskarte sa buhay .

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Tapos ung priority nya bhe.. nakalimutan kong banggatin ung priority nya, dapat ikaw na magiging priority nya lalo na pag may anak na kau .

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Sino ba priority niya ngayon kayo naman priority niya diba

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Cguro bhe..hndi ko lang makitaπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Oo yan hehe

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Sis.. Trials lang yan.. Dumadating din ako sa ganyang point ng mga isipin lalo na pag magkaawayvkami.. Hehe.. Pero if iisipin, mas marami naman kayong happy moments diba..

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Oo sis..tsaka ok naman kami pag wala kaming away at ung away namin Hindi namn malala eh..minsan nakakastress lang..πŸ˜…πŸ˜…

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Ahahhaa... Okay yan sis lalo na kung hindi naman babaero si mister mo.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

Yan ung kasabihan sissy na ang pag aasawa o paglalagay sa tahimik na buhay ay di gaya ng pagkain, na kapag mainit pwede natin mailuwa Natakot tuloy akong mag asawa kht ove age na ako hehe

$ 0.01
2 years ago

Totoo yan sis..laging pinapaalala sakin yan ng tatay ko noong nabubuhay pa siya. Pro wag kang matakot kc masarap pa din ang may kasama hanggang sa pagtanda.

$ 0.00
2 years ago

The kind of person you want to marry must be a kind of person that show love to people. Examine the person, findout some things about him or self before saying I do

$ 0.01
2 years ago

That was really important to know the person before marry..☺️ anyway thank you for dropping by. πŸ₯°

$ 0.00
2 years ago