Hello everyone, so now I will try to share some of my struggle as a first time mom. Some of you might have the same experience as me and some might have a different story.
But before i begin as i always say im not a professional writer,so please don't judge me.🥰✌️
>November 07, 2020 when i finally meet my little one,my little son-shine. He was too small and tiny with his 2800kg weight. At first i really find it hard on how im gonna hold him, im really scared that i might broke his fragile bone's. Good thing i stayed in the hospital for about 6 day's so the nurse are always there to accompany me and with the help of my room mates,which is also a mom i finally learn how to hold him.
After 6 day's we finally got home, actually i don't why we stayed a lot of days in the hospital, since my baby and i are fine. But im i guessing that it's all about our hospital bill. Since im a philhealth member it takes a few days after completing all the required documents for my reimbursement though i have it ready the pandemic makes the process a little longer
Struggle is real!
When we are still at the hospital my baby don't take a bath 😂 so I didn't bother to think about it. But when we arrive home my mother in law and I talked about his bathing time. She told me that the baby must have his bath before 10 am and not as early as 7 am so it must be between 8-9 am.
At first she asked me if i can handle it,so i lied and said yes. It's because im a bit shy to tell her that I can't, because i was thinking that i must become a responsible mom and to not keep on relying on them. And since she go to work,she didn't know that I can't let my son have a bath🤦.
I just use a clean towel and have it wet with a lukewarm water and rub it gently to my son's body..but it makes me feel guilty 😅. So stand with the truth.
Every weekend my mother in law stay at home,she don't have a work,so i told her that i really can't do the bath for my son. I'm scared that i might drown him from the water or might broke his arms because i don't know how to hold him with the right position for bathing,or i might fell him and that's really scares me. I'm also worried about his navel,as the doctor said don't let it get wet to avoid infection.
So my baby can only take a bath every weekend which made me feel sorry.
If only i can ,he can always have his bath everyday.
I try so hard to learn everything so i can do everything for my son.
My eyebags are big and my eyes are always heavy,i really look like a panda 🐼 actually hahahha.
My baby was a mixed feeding, sometimes breast feed sometimes formula. I don't have a good source of milk that's why. I actually tried to drink some vitamins and some capsules but it didn't work . So we don't have any choice since i cannot provide enough mik for him we started using formula when he was just 3 weeks old.
My son is always awake at night, there were also times that he don't want to be put in bed,he likes being carried,and he wants me to sing for him and do a little dance. He loves to sleep in my arms and sometimes in my stomach, haahhahaha it's so tiring and it's really hard to sleep.
But he sleeps a lot at day time,they always told me that i must sleep together with my son when he sleep. But it's impossible you know?
After they left home and my son already sleeping i will start to clean his feeding bottle, have a little cleaning in our room and eat my breakfast. Sometimes I'm not yet done by eating my son is already awake.🤦
There were times that i can't even go to the toilet because no one will look after him so i have to wait until he go back to sleep.
He can sense if no one is around and starts to cry. During the day i can only have a little nap,so maybe that's why sometimes i experience a bad headaches. It feels like my head will about to blow, it's really hurt. Luckily my mother in law is always to the rescue every time she's at home. Im lucky for that!
His cry is killing me!
It's sounds over acting but it's true. One time we we're about to sleep when my son suddenly cry. So i carry him and try to do what he likes but he didn't stop from crying,he continue and every time I try to put him down he cried even harder.
I began to panic,so my partner try to comfort our son,he carry him and do a little swing but he still didn't stop from crying. I started to get worried so my mother in law took my son and try to calm it down and do a little massage on his body. She said he has colic and he feel pain on his stomach,she sat down and put my son on top of her knees in an upset position and after a few minutes he calm down,he stops from crying.
Every day i learned new things from my mother in law, but i honestly feel tiresome. My body is aching 😂. I realize that it's not really easy to become a mom.
It's more harder if your child got sick!
I thought im just tired and sleepy, that's why im always angry,i easily get irritated by small things.
I don't want to see my partner,i hate him being around.
I feel so tired and exhausted so i deeply blame my partner for that. Every time he called me i get mad.
like ano na naman? Lahat nalang ba itatawag mo sakin? Lahat nalang ba ako gagawa? Wala ka bang kayang gawin?
My partner actually sometimes get mad of how i react every time he call me. Which made me more angry.
That time I still don't know that I'm experiencing postpartum,i don't know that it's really real. I have read it already before but I didn't expect it to happen on me. Im strong and a fighter woman so I don't believe it, but i actually experience it even until now.
I can't deny that there were times that I cry because I'm tired,because im hungry, i cry because I can't do anything. I sometimes wanted to go home to my own family. I wanted to run away from the reality. Most of the time i feel alone. But after all i manage to handle it and still fighting💪^_^
Now my baby is growing,he already knows how to crawl,roll over, seating down,starting to take a small steps and wanted to learn everything.
This stage is a bit more tiring.
But his smile is so precious and priceless and that would be enough to take away all my pain and tiredness.🥰🥰🥰
The missy House is real.🤣 I had to keep on following his miss because everything that he saw he will try to grab it and throw 😂🤣 even my phone he broke it. 😂😂 But im really happy to see my son is growing up. It makes me feel proud of myself specially if he learns something new. I sometimes i hear him try to speak a word but he loves the word ""MAMA" hahahha
Being a mom is a big challenge to every woman in the world, we must be understood,loved and respected and specially we must be heard. Sometimes we get mad because we feel that were not being heard. Being a mom is not an easy task. Every struggle that we face for our every day life as a mom is not easy as you imagined. Try to listen and understand us.
❣️Thanks for reading ❣️