"He had change a lot"

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1 year ago
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I was really thankful that God gives me a second beautiful family. I really felt so lucky that my parent's-in-law are not monster like the others, you know?πŸ‘€ Some parent's-in-law, most specially the mother was a terror. Sorry with my word but that's what it is in reality😁.

To be honest, my sister-in-law is not so lucky to have a mother-in-law like my mom. I mean my real mom. Because my mom isn't approachable.

Yeah she's nice but she's kind of sensitive and competitive as well. Maybe because she loves my brother so much, which is my sister-in-law's husband.

That is why I am so lucky that my mother-in-law is really kind, and that is why most of the time I always mention her in some of my blogs because I am closed to her. She was very approachable and a mother to me.

So, when I come over and live with them last 2020 in one roof. Our relationship becomes even more stronger. We are supporting and respecting each other, and we listened to each others opinions and that makes me feel overwhelmed.

  • However things started to slowly change when my father-in-law suffer from a mild stroke. That was year 2021, when he went home looking so hopeless.

He was working in the construction site that time, somewhere in Batangas. He accepted a big project there. Since his workplace was far from home, he prefers to stay there. He only goes home one's a month and mostly stayed in there site. We don't know how he lives there, but we know that he works under the sun that is why mommy always reminded him not to stay for long under the sun, and drink more water to avoid dehydration. However daddy is quite stubborn for sometime, so I guess he didn't listen to mommy and that maybe the possible reason why he got a mild stroke. We were just lucky that he still went home safe and still alive.

  • From that time, my father-in-law stays home. Mommy didn't allow him to go back to his work again, as she was really worried about his condition. They also visited the doctor and did some laboratory examination to know more about his condition. I just forgot the results of his laboratories but I remember that he is taking some drugs, prescribed by the doctor.

So he remained unemployed for months. Since we were still living in the apartment that time, I have seen some changes of him. He becomes so grumpy, sensitive, and I can even hear him saying bad words whenever he hears my son's scream. He also easily get mad or annoyed even at the smallest things, and for the first time I even hear him raising his voice to mommy.

  • There are also times that he acted so weird, and that made me overthink. Sometimes he made me feel afraid that he might be in a suicidal thoughts, because sometimes he keeps on watching the ceiling. Seems like he is planning for something ridiculous, you know, hanging his self in the ceiling, something like that. So I become vigilant about his actions that time as I am worried that he might also follow his brother footstep. His brother hang his self due to depression and that made me feel scared about my father-in-law's behaviour that time. I was just thankful that he didn't do any craziness.

Because of the changes of daddy's behaviour, I got anxiety. I just give birth to my son and I shouldn't be stressed as it was bad for me, so my partner and I decided to left the apartment. But we always visit them every weekend.

Now that we are living in one roof again, I have seen that he still haven't recovered yet. His still not the same father-in-law that I meet before. I guess the stroke affected his brain as well, because he can no longer follow simple instruction anymore. Just like the other day, mommy asked him to cook vegetable, and fry some fish for our dinners viand. Since daddy is a good cooked I didn't interrupted him while cooking in the kitchen. So I didn't know that he cooked too many viand that time.

  • Imagine we were just three adults at home, (since my son still don't eat, so only the three of us who will eat) and yet the viand that he prepare was good for 6-7 person's.

Mommy got so mad and disappointed because the vegetables was too many, and yet he also fry all the fish that mommy bought in the morning. The fish is something 1 and half kilo, so many for one eating. She, perhaps I, also can't believe that daddy will gonna do that because his already adult, and so mommy nagged at him so badly. Daddy got disappointed with mommy's reaction, and so he immediately walk away and went outside our house without saying anything. He acted like a child the other night because of what mommy's reaction, he literally didn't eat his dinner as well. He remains silent and even went to sleep early that night.

Then yesterday morning he told me that he will be going to visit his children from the other city, and so left home at around 10:20 in the morning. Before he left I told him to keep safe. However he didn't inform us that he will be going to have a sleepover there, and so mommy got worried about him. He also turned off his phone and so mommy was annoyed because she cannot contact him.

Authors epilogue;

Daddy was fine and safe. He is also home now. I guess he just visited his children's and grandchildren to unwind. I am hoping and praying that his condition won't get worsened.

Anyway this is all for today and thank you for your time.

Lead image was edited using Canva.

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1 year ago

Comments

It's hard seeing people change like that. I can imagine the stroke as made him feel like less of a man. Working to support others gives us a meaningful responsibility. When that is taken away we feel useless. Also having being stripped of physical things takes its toll on our self confidence. When I was out for a short time due to my surgery I'll admit being limited was eating me up inside.

It's a hard thing to deal with not only for your father in law but everyone around him. It's tough to say things as well. I mean thank him for what he's done may remind him what he use to do and sadden him inside. You know us men don't show our emotions well, that may be why he's grumpy. His way of dealing with it. IDK I find thanking people like that is best when they do things now there capable of. Sorry for the long rant I may of course have this all wrong.

$ 0.02
1 year ago

Perhaps you are right, maybe he felt that way and that is why he becomes less patience and grumpy.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Ganyan talaga sis naging mainitin ang ulo at minsan parang isip bata na sila di makaintindi kaya kailangan nila ng tamanv aruga at mataas na pag unawa dahil di nila ginusto mga actions nila na di nadin namalayan.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Kaya nga sis. Hindi din naman nila gusto na magkaganun sila.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Aguyyy, bumalik syabsa pagiging isip bata na naga tantrums no..pero ganyan naman na talaga mga oldies. Tas sumabay oa stroke nya. Minzan si mommy ganyan pero yong tampo tampo ee di uso yan sa kanya pero may time na para syang bata ba. And if b4 talagang strikta sya ngayon hindi na para nga nabaligtad ee mejo chill na din naman sya now. Anyways glad he is safuu naman. Uwu

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Ito si daddy wala pa tong 60, nagkaganyan lang talaga siya after ma stroke.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Awww ang bata pa nya, stroke nga yan. Aga naman nya natamaan ng stroke aguy

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Ang swerte mo sa mother-in-law mo sis kasi halos di talaga magkaintindihan sa mga in-laws sis. Yan lagi naririnig ko.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Oo nga sis, maswerte nga ako kasi ang babait nila.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

I am glad too that so far I have a nice mother in law..As my husband was "makananay"πŸ˜‚. Could not imagine if she is a monster.

Parang ganyan usually mga nastroke na sis, maiinitin ulo

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Kaya nga sis at parang lumalala nga pagkaburyong nya.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

Siguro kasi naiirita na hindi na nila.magawa ang mga dati nilang ginagawa?πŸ€” Tapos papasok ang feeling nila pabigat na sila

$ 0.00
1 year ago

It is possibly affected by the stroke sis, his brain maybe gets weka that's why he can't understand things properly and even he gets his attitude worst.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Kaya nga sis.

$ 0.00
1 year ago

After brain stroke mental health affected a lot. You and your hubby did wonderful job for daddy. He needed someone for his care and you should bear if something harsh asked by him.

$ 0.01
1 year ago

Exactly, it's affecting the person's behaviour as well.

$ 0.00
1 year ago