"Did I contribute something useful in readcash?"

Actually, I already have a different topic for today. I have already started typing that topic upon waking up this morning, but because my son suddenly woke up, I made a pause and saved it in my draft since I have to take care of him, first.

Then after a couple of hours, I came back to the platform, and since it become my habit to check the home page, I wander. Just to see if there's still more users who are active even though rusty is already gone.

Fortunately there's still some, and I was happy to see them though I don't engage with them . I think I still see more than 50 users who keep in touch despite Rusty's absence. And guess what? I even meet a spammer in my way.😁. Sorry if I call that user that why, I just find it unbelievable? Because can you believe it? That user can publish three articles in one hour? Like wow😳. Or maybe that user is not aware that we can't publish three articles in one hour because it can be considered as spam. As I also checked the users profile, I found out that his been a readcash user for a year, but he doesn't have any followers. No one also read his work but it's visible in the home page. I think that user is also not aware with the current situation of the platform, so I just ignore him. Anyway I wasn't sure if he is a boy or a girl 😅.

Moreover as I continue wandering, I came across to a post where the writer say's about the failure of readcash . His article catches my attention so I read it whole until I reaches the comment section. From there I see some users who are disappointed with the title . But what makes me sad reading her/his blog was the attach questions that the writer included in that content? The questions made me realize something, that for somehow made me feel guilty. It hits me hard.

What do you offer? What makes you worthy of receiving rewards? Are we going to read about the meals you prepare, or do you have something important to say?"

• You can read the full version of that blog from here .

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When I started my blogging journey here in readcash. I would admit that I don't know what to offer. Perhaps up until now I wasn't sure if I have something to offer . I am not good in writing. I am not good on making research. I am not knowledgeable about crypto currency. I don't have a wide knowledge about everything in life. I don't have any inspiring story. I can't even give a good advice to motivate and inspire my readers. So what did I contributed here? Just my nonsensicality, I guess?

• When I came here, all I know I'm here because I need earnings. That's all. But I really do care about this platform. I didn't plagiarized. I didn't spam. I didn't break their rules. Wasn't it enough for me to become deserving for the reward?

With my whole self, and with my originality, I step in to this world where in the first place and I knew to myself that I don't belong. But I still push myself. I even try harder. But I guess my best isn't that good enough. I just have dreams, and so even if I don't see myself as a writer, I stayed until the green baby notice me.

I know with my nonsensicality I don't deserve to be rewarded, but I feel grateful for it. I know, I don't deserve his attention, and now I feel guilty. I felt that I am one of the reason why this platform went down. I didn't reciprocate. I only received and received but I didn't contribute something that is useful and informative to make this platform grow. And you see? Even if rusty isn't around anymore I'm still here. Waiting for something. I should have some shame on me.😞

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• I'm sorry to everyone, most specially to rusty and to all the developer of readcash.

Lead image is from Unsplash.com