To the guy I love but can't have.

I remember it. I remember it all. The first time our eyes met, my world changed. On day one, you told me not to take constructive criticisms seriously and that we don’t deserve anything less. You said to keep me on surprising you because you believe in me and that I have talents and potential or maybe more. Day by day, I felt like I’m brand new because I am learning a lot from you. Lying in bed, out of the blue, you said that the universe has no obligation to make sense to me then, we paused. A minute later you continued, “So you’ve got to live. No matter how many times your world has fallen. You’ve got to live.” I wouldn’t have made it this far if it hadn’t been for you.

You made me question everything I believed in love, in life, but never my existence. You made me see the opposite, the irony, and the satire. You let me distinguish between the real and the unreal. You let me decide on my own. You gave me the courage to lose myself in something I truly wanted. You taught me that it’s okay to collapse, to be comfortable with silence, to cry at the drop of a hat, to bend but not break. You made me feel. You hear me even when I do not speak. You give me the best comfort. You were there when I failed. You looked up to me. You were there, you never left. You never fail to admire me even when I’m doubting myself. You made me feel beautiful.

Funny, how our courses collide. It feels like, maybe we’re meant to be in the same story. A story that has the finest writing. A book I ain’t scared to open or close. A story worth living. I am so lucky to get this close to you. I would still stare and adore you even at your worst. You might not have been my first love, but you were the love I loved. You are the type of understanding I demand. You are the best adventure I’ve ever had. You are the unusual risk. You are the choice that truly mattered. You are all I ever wanted.

To the guy who thinks pain will last forever, shake the heaviness from your shoulders and be willing to start again. Allow yourself to rest. Allow yourself to heal. To the guy with nice perspectives but has lonely eyes, I fell for you. To the guy who laughs hard but always looks sad, it’s always been happier with you. To the guy who’s best at letting go, the best thing I’ve ever held was you. To the guy who feels everything deeply but thinks of himself as empty, my heart is so full of you. To the guy who keeps his heart hidden, I see you. To the guy who’s good at licking his wounds in private, I care for you. To the guy who’s searching for answers, know that the answers are all you. To the guy who’s not just good-looking but also is substantial. To the guy I’ve always had deep conversations with, I know that it’s your way of making love with me; I love you, too.

To the guy who reads, my poetry is you.