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It has been a very busy day. Emails, chats and more emails. Why do they have to come altogether at a time? Messages not even related to each other. If I were not being careful, I could mix up contents. I couldn't imagine the havoc it would create both for me and the recipients.
Have you ever had days like mine?
I have always questioned why am I in this generation. I there is a mismatch. Everything in this generation is in an accelerated motion that I sometimes feel like a couldn't keep up. Maybe in my past life, I was a turtle or perhaps a snail or maybe a sloth? haha...
Honestly, there are really days when I feel so exhausted that I would just like to take a break. But how? I have mouths to feed. I have responsibilities to keep and a humongous financial obligation to meet. The laundry basket is also full. I thought I did them the other day? The sink is also at the brim. The floor is waiting to be polished. There is more I am actually ashamed to enumerate.
But then again, why do I feel tired when everything is still waiting for me? I did not merely sit down the whole day. I have been working a lot. Ironically, I was not able to do anything. The mouths are still waiting to be fed. The responsibilities are still lingering along with the financial obligations. The house chores are still waiving.
(I thought this image is perfect for what I am feeling right now, both literal and figurative...hahaha)
I told you in an earlier post that I won't be writing tomorrow so I am taking this time to publish something in my mind at this time. I think it is better to turn my downcast heart into something productive like what I am doing now. It may not be a real inspiration to readers but it will be a great release on my part.
This feeling that I am having now is I guess not really because of all the challenges of the day although they may be a factor. What really caused this is when the better man told me that he needs to stop tending to other things and just to stay at home for the tasks to be accomplished properly. I was hurt. It was a dagger that pierced through my heart.
From the beginning, I know I wasn't good at managing the house but I realized it is even more painful when a person you would never expect openly spit it out in your face. melodramatic, ain't it? Well, I really think I didn't deserve it. For now, let me just pour my heart out. Tomorrow, I know I will be better. Better in the sense that like nothing happened. hahaha.
One article I read says a sign that you need to take a break is when you personalize everything. Personalization is when your mind convinces you that your negative thoughts are real, even when they aren't true. These thoughts emphasize emotions and destructive behaviors that can lead you into a downward spiral of inability to cope with even minimal stressors. I think I was being touchy that I tend to personalize things easily these days. I think I need to slow things down then.
TO MYSELF: It is just Monday, the beginning of the week. There are 6 more days before the week ends. You have to expect more but you need to keep in mind that you a as strong as a bull and you will overcome!