An Empath.

An empath is someone who is highly aware of the emotions of those around them, they absorb the emotions and pains of others like it's their emotions.

And I'm one of them. I'm aware that I'm an empath and I don't know if it's good or bad for me. When I was young, I thought I was just a highly sensitive and crying baby. I cried when I see my friends crying. I felt bad for some grandma's who's still selling candies outside school despite their age. Then growing up, as I'm trying to know myself more, I realized that I'm an empath.

I remember one of my officemates before opened up about her problems and started crying, the weird part was, I cried too, with all my heart and hugged her. And she asked me why I'm so affected hahaha. I can absorb other's pain like it's my own. They said it's good to be an empath because I have a heart for others, but sometimes it's exhausting.

The vibe of the environment matters to an empath. My energy easily drained if I'm in a place full of other's negative emotions. I can only recharge in nature, in a room with good or aesthetic vibes. A chaotic and depressing environment pulled out the energy in me. When my parents having an argument, even at this age, I really can't take it. That's why I quit my personal social media. Other people's sharing their pain and negativities drained me. I have my own problems to face and it's draining to see those posts.

Tragic events and violence affect me also even if they're miles away and I don't know the person personally. I remember when the video of Fallen SAF 44 uploaded in youtube, how they were brutally killed, after watching the videos, I suddenly cried in the office, I guess some people in the pantry think of me as overreacting but I really can't helped it.

Some people seeks empaths for advice, support, and encouragement because we are good listeners. Some of my officemates before keep's on asking me for advice, they easily opened up maybe they know that I can listen well with their never-ending problems and drama with all my heart but some of them don’t even realize how much energy I need to be a listener and advice giver, but some people took it for granted.

Now I learned how to not absorb some energies. I avoid watching tragic events/ news, I build walls and cut toxic/negative vibes that are gonna affect my peace. Not because I don't want to give advice and listen anymore, I just need to limit myself for my inner peace. I still open up to people that I'm comfortable with, even to strangers. I always open my heart to them, I'm having a hard time refusing if someone needed me.