Am I a selfish person? Read to know about my story

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Avatar for Fexonice1
3 years ago

I feel very reluctant to write about this today, I still have a heavy heart remembering everything that happened at my last board meeting with colleagues. It's been a week since we had a meeting, but I can't keep this incident in mind. They hurt me, they did, they pushed me against a wall with their wrong judgments and accusations, yet I could not retaliate, no, not in words or deeds. I wouldn’t fight in any way, that would mean exposing myself to them more.

How can other people think they have the right to decide for me how I live my life and how I spend my money? How can they accuse me of being selfish or not sacrificial enough with my money?

I thought I would hear compliments and congratulatory messages and words from them, I mean my colleagues, but instead they came up with malicious allegations against me, they came together to tannish my reputation by calling me unpatriotic.

What leads to this situation?

It pains me to know that those whom I have helped in the past and whom I have sacrificed for are the ones fighting me. It hurts to see how jealous people can be if you succeed. These are partners I have personally set up in business with my money and property in the past, but they can't bear to see new things happen in my life. All the good news of the success I have shared is always getting rejected instead of being praised.

Every organization has a constitution and a duty to work. Even if this is a Christian organization, we have a structure and job working conditions. Such an obligation is an agreement between employees and the organization. It is through this agreement or agreement that I work as a pastor in my organization. This agreement includes payment and behavioral ethics. In it, the organization is obliged to pay the house rent for all the ministers, and a monthly allowance of $20. That is my working condition in my organization. $20 is the money I take home every month, and this money is used to maintain my local meeting. But I have never been bothered with the monthly payments as I have my own business and I work online as well, although transfers have greatly affected my business by restarting wherever I have been transferred.

Now, you have a picture of the conditions I work in, why would my colleagues be fighting me for achieving a financial goal?

As mentioned above, the organization is responsible for paying rent for my house, the only thing I get from the organization. I am a servant of God, and I do not engage in the ministry for financial gain. The problem now is that the organization has been reluctant to pay the rent for this time and wants me to pay it instead. But I told them that I could not because that's the only thing I get for leaving my hometown to go wherever I was assigned. Seeing the negative impact that the situation could have on the organization, the payment was sent by the head of my organization. Two weeks later I bought a brand-new car, which I immediately testified about in our ministers' forum.

Last weekend was our board meeting, I was expecting to receive congratulatory messages from colleagues but instead, my purchase of a car has been the subject of much discussion. A colleague raised an argument as to why I did not pay the rent when the organization said they had no money, instead I bought a new car two weeks after the payment was made. They accused me of not being sacrificial when I had the money to pay the rent. Worst of all, our leader joined the allegations.

How do I deal with this?

First of all, it is the organization's responsibility to pay the rent, and that will not change even if I have millions of dollars in my bank account.

Secondly, I have my cross to carry, which is my family and my problems I cannot pass on to anyone else.

Thirdly, my local assembly is all on my shoulders. They are a concern and a place to sacrifice. I care about them and give them the help I can at any time. I have paid for the local assembly hall with my own money, and I have been taking care of the assembly hall for over a year now at my own expense. My assembly is still young, only one year and two months old, and our numbers are still less than 100. Most of these people are poor and need support. That's why they came to join us in the first place. But how do I support these people when all the money from our meeting is sent to the head assembly? I will not break any constitution, so I keep things that way no matter how much money we need in our meeting. Instead of looking for the head assembly to meet our needs in the local assembly, I took it upon myself, running the meetings at my own expense and caring for the needy among us. I think this is enough sacrifice for me. All of these things that are done in my local meeting remain in my assembly, not to mention in our board meeting, it's between me and God.

When I bought a piece of land for my building two years ago, this co-worker who sued me did the same. At the time, I was working at headquarters with my senior minister. The guy and his wife said at the time, that if they were at headquarters they would also buy a piece of land, and that I needed a transfer. When some of my colleagues were happy with me, the couple were angry and jealous.

I do not take any of those things to heart, and if I do, I will not be able to help anyone. Even these very jealous colleagues came to me to teach them business, I not only taught them but also gave them financial support to start the business. Today, they still struggle to succeed in business. I gave them a lot of support when I was transferred last year. I gave them the leftover goods that could cost a good amount of money and left the store for them to continue with.

I will stop here so as not to cultivate a feeling of hatred for anyone. And I will leave it to you readers to leave your decision on this matter.

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3 years ago

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God will bless you so much blessings because you are a good person. I am very proud of you and of your achievements in life. Always remember, only Him can judge you.

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3 years ago

I always find it mindboggling when things like this happen in the church. It's really heartbreaking that supposed teachers of God's word would condescend to envying and accusing their colleagues unnecessarily. Of course, it's always the organisation's right and responsibility to pay for your house rent provided that that was the agreement in the employment clause. Nobody has the right to criticise you for insisting they pay up for the rent. It's their job to do.

For me, I'll say you shouldn't be moved by whatever they say about you so far you have a clean conscience and are not guilty of what they are saying about you.

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3 years ago

And this is why God will always bless you. I am thankful for one thing, their reservations can't override what God thinks and as long as God keeps seeing your sacrifices, their opinions are inconsequential.

I know it is hard because those to whom we have given so much of ourselves to are usually the ones that go behind our back to hurt us. Those closer to us hurt us the most and they know this. God will be the one to judge them.

I can remember when my dad died in 2006. My Uncle that would always come to us in Ibadan then to ask for school fees and even the building of his house wasn't without help. I am the last born, so I know and see all these things. Dad got sick and practically spent all his money on treatment before he passed away. My Uncle came to commiserate with us and when he was asked by my aunts how the burial arrangements would be done, he said they should figure it out because he doesn't have any money and at least, he didn't 'chop' anything from my dad. Even those aunties who didn't know the story slammed him for being ungrateful.

What am I saying, this is just the attitude of humans and more so, fellow believers who haven't allowed themselves to be renewed by the Word of God despite teaching the Word of God. I have stopped taking their words seriously when criticism arise in Church when someone gave me an analogy that Churches can be likened to an hospital where different people come for healing. Some might be there and still not made whole yet. Don't sweat it, God is the rewarder and not a man and I am so sure God is not even done with you yet, sir. Where did he say He will set His table for you? Without them, the table setting arrangement in the presence of jealous folks won't be sweet 🤣😂😂. Let them keep hating while God keeps blessing you. God is on the wheel, not them.

God bless you even more, sir. Sorry for my epistle 🙈🤦

$ 0.10
3 years ago

Where did he say He will set His table for you? Without them, the table setting arrangement in the presence of jealous folks won't be sweet 🤣

Thank you for bringing this to my remembering. Indeed, he prepared a table before me in the presence of mine enemy, he has anointed my head with oil, and surely my cup is running over soon.

$ 0.02
3 years ago

Amen and it will overflow. They will get tired of hating because the more they are jealous, the more God will keep enlarging you.

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3 years ago

This is already good for one article 🤣

$ 0.01
3 years ago

🤣🤣😂😂🤣🤣😂 Janeyyyyyyy

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3 years ago

Hi, my friend.

The question you ask can only be answered by yourself. Only God can judge you.

None of those who share here have the minimum elements to adsorb or condemn you. Even your fellow congregations would be wrong to do so for many reasons that are not worth airing here if we stick to the scripture.

I would be wrong to advise you without knowing your conditions and pastoral responsibilities beyond what he says. In the Torah, you can find direction in what he asks.

Perhaps if I can tell you based on your testimonies and performance here in the community, that I have a deep appreciation for you, and I consider you my friend despite the existing barriers. I put your shoes on and I feel like they squeeze me.

As far as I know, Nigeria is a dangerous place for those who carry out pastoral tasks as Christian. So you should not worry about the criticism of your peers if you act with fear of God.

Pray for them, and act under God's guidance.

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3 years ago

Pray for them, and act under God's guidance.

Well, I have left everything in the hands of God and do not want to keep it in mind anymore though it hurts.

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3 years ago

Pray for them, and act under God's guidance.

Well, I have left everything in the hands of God and do not want to keep it in mind anymore though it hurts.

I feel sorry for you, my friend.

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3 years ago

An envious man can never prosper in life. God keep lifting the humble up and resist the proud in spirit, prides brings jealousy. Keep helping them and God will continue to bless you more, the bible says when your enemy is hungry feed him by doing this you are raining fire on him

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Thank you for your comment

$ 0.00
3 years ago

I understand this situation very well. I think i mentioned it to you once that we've lived in over 3 states because of the transfer my Dad do get from time to time. I attended over 10 schools (Primary & secondary school) just because of the transfers. It's inevitable,it's everywhere ,even in a church settings. Once they notice you are successful or going beyond the expectations they have for you, they will find a way to antagonize you. They will surely find an offense to accuse you of. However, this being a Church case needs to be handled with care, so one won't be the reason for conflict in the church. Try to tell them the other things(sacrifices) you make, they might call it pride but the situation on ground warrants it. Tell them the reason you bought the call, how it has been of help to you ever since, i know you bought it with your money and owe no one an explanation but as a man of God these are one of the things you put up with. After the explanation I'm sure they will still look for another way to paint you bad ,to tell you what you are doing is a bad. They will call you names - selfish, proud, rude, boastful etc but try to turn a deaf ear to everything. Leave the rest to God. Be mindful of the kind of reply you give them because they will be out looking for your mistakes or words that they can use against you. Above all put everything in God's hands because battle of the holy ones is one of the most dangerous battles. May God continue to provide for you and protect your family.

$ 0.06
3 years ago

It's funny to see how people can turn against you even when it's glaringly clear how sacrificial you have been. I tell you the truth, I wanted to turn in a resignation letter because of the incident but for God and the people I have in my assembly I reconsider my thought.

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3 years ago

We always see the fault of others and turning a blind eye to the goodness we have done. Sooner or later they will realize their mistakes so I am praying for you and those who accuse you that they will be enlightened. Stay strong.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Amen to your prayers. I do hope they will be enlightened soon.

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3 years ago

This is unfair though. At least they should understand you for buying that car. You are a family man and do they expect you to keep walking on foot with your family to church or anywhere you had be. No matter what you have achieved, since it is their obligation to pay your house rent, they don't have to use an achievement against you not to do what they expect to do.

I hope you don't act out of anger and continue with what you are doing for the Lord and He will continue to bless you. I think they are jealous of you. But wait! $20 for a month. What if you don't have any other work or business, how do they expect you to survive with family?

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3 years ago

But wait! $20 for a month. What if you don't have any other work or business, how do they expect you to survive with family?

That's the truth, most of the pastors are poor, but anyone can do business or get a job as long that doesn't hinder the ministry. The house rent is only what I get from the organization.

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3 years ago

Exactly Nothing stop them from doing any business as long as the Ministry is going forward. They shouldn't because of your achievement go against their obligation because it would be unfair for them.

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3 years ago

Why not buy a house instead of a car so you don't need to rent anymore? It's better if you really have your own house..

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3 years ago

My house is being built in my home town, I work in different town with my family and I always travel all the time. I needed the car for two reasons, To take my family to church and when we have to attend convention together in our headquarters. For my business, I need a car to move goods.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Oh.. Now I understand..

$ 0.00
3 years ago

It is saddening that a relationship has to be torn because of money matters. I personally agree that it is the organization's responsibility to pay for your rent regardless of your financial status

$ 0.01
3 years ago

But they think I should be the paying for the rent because am being bless by God. I have a lot of financial responsibilities in my assembly to cater for and that with my own money.

$ 0.00
3 years ago

Well, I hope this will be resolved and let those who are responsible be responsible of these matters. GOD BLESS you sir!

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3 years ago

You know, in life, you don't get to satisfy people no matter how you try. Just like @cool08 has said, your effort will be measured as not good enough.

One thing I kept saying is that if you are successful, you must be criticized else, your success hasn't been tested yet. As a leader, no matter the advancement and sacrifices you make, some people, sometimes, the very friends you feed may be the one to antagonize you.

Keep keeping on with you good work. Do not relent in doing good.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Keep keeping on with you good work. Do not relent in doing good.

Thank you for this comment

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3 years ago

It has happened to me just this week where my PTA chairman and his members had to call me and my committee which happened to be the planning committee thieves. He said the budget we made is too high. We have done good to them but yet they failed to recon with that instead they were fighting us for what does not matter and for what we did not do.

Human beings are always like this. They will always forget the good you have done and try by all means to bring you down for what you did not do.

They can always be jealous of your progress.

$ 0.03
3 years ago

Probably they want you to cut soap for them....😂😂 stay strong sir

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3 years ago

Hahaha, you are funny

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3 years ago