Every human being has desired for having good relations with the opposite sex. Even animals have a relationship with their opposite sex, we are considered animals but we are top of them as we are given intellectual quotient and being more rational than the literal animals. Without a relationship to the opposite sex, the human race will not be disseminated.
Everyone has a relationship, if not then we don't have what we called "family". Everyone fantasizes to have a perfect relationship with the right person, especially when we hit adulthood, some of us are pressured to build their own family. But before jumping into family matters, first and foremost we have to find someone whom we can share the so-called relationship before settling down.
But how do we know if we are in a relationship with the right person?
This is a common question but sometimes hard to answer because there are many failed relationships all over the world, for so many reasons and different situations. But the root of this is that we are in a relationship with the wrong persons that makes things complicated and more conflicts arise making the relationship toxic that leads to breakups and failures.
In this article, I will share some insights according to my knowledge and observations to determine if we are in a relationship with the wrong person or the right person. I myself encountered so many conflicts with my partner, conflicts is inevitable since you are both different person trying to be one or synchronized just to maintain good relationships.
So let's begin,
How to determine you have the right partner?
Maturity of your partner- if your partner is mature enough, they will perhaps make things accordingly. Accordingly in a sense, of doing things in balance equation, in making decisions and always consider your parts. Mature people will listen to your opinions and try to compromise things before making decisions. Immature people don't listen to other opinions, they will pursue things on their own without considering what you are trying to voice out. This will lead to more conflict in the future making relationship out of balance, the relationship should be taken care of by two people, if not then they must be in a relationship with their self alone.
Making time for you- the right person will always find the time or spare time for you despite having a hectic schedule. Time is a precious thing to be shared by your love ones if your partner does not spend time for you, your bond together might loosen up. That's why some people who are already in a relationship will have some flings because of lacking time for each other. If you are in a relationship and want to make it last, you have to commit to it and be responsible for it.
Listen to you- the right person will have the habit to attend your needs. We need to be heard sometimes especially when we are having bad days, having trouble with our works or something that bothers us. How our days went if we are okay or not. The right person will make sure you are in the condition and in a good situation. He/she will give full attention to your needs, especially in moral supports because that's how it should be. You are in a relationship to have a company, someone who will accompany you through good and bad situations.
Honors you- the right person will honor your statements, will listen, and respect whatever decision you come up with. You will not be bypass because of great respect.
Trust you- the right person will trust you with anything may it be personal or financial aspects. Some people don't trust their partners, they will tend to question things oftentimes because of lack of trust. This is one of the main reasons that make the relationship toxic, you cant make things freely. Your freedom is at stake, yes we are in a relationship but we still need to freely decide or make things on our own with the consent of our partner. Some make little secret because of this and those little secrets will get bigger when it is done frequently due to partners' lack of trust.
Loyalty - if you are in a relationship with the right person their loyalty will constantly prevail with or without your surveillance.
Will not going to abuse you- right partner will not abuse you physically, mentally, and emotionally. These three fundamentals are essential to our health if these are being destroyed by your partner then that's a red flag to you, especially for women. I am not being feminist but most women are prone to abuse and violence by their partners.
Help you grow- the right person will help you grow maturely and will help you guide in every step you take.
Lead you closer to God- I know not all people are believing that there is God, I know everyone hears about Him but doesn't believe in His existence, but to a Christian person we believe in God. The right person will lead you closer to Him, not that destroying your faith and doubt Him. (I personally have experience in this, I've lost my faith due to many circumstances but my partner help me to get back in Him). Credits to @Yen and @Rainbow for adding the idea, I really forgot this one for me the most important thing relationship must have to make relationship long-lasting and a blessed one. A God-centered relationship is one of the best.
Understanding differences- the ability to accept each other's differences. The relationship is built on the understanding that we are different and that difference should be respected, while correction should be done in love. Without it compromising might be hardly done. (Credits to @Greatness96 for this insight as I forgot to mention )
Major reasons for conflicts in a relationship (to be avoided)
Different upbringing - it is one major reason for conflicts, you are both different people and have different breeding raised by different parents. Your values and norms being practice at home vary that makes you both argue what will be followed.
Nagger- being too nagger with your partner whatever they do may trigger a fight. Especially women, we are born with so many talks just like our mom 😂, that's why we have to slow down sometimes, talk calmly and nice towards our partner.
Lack of support - lacking support with your partner will not make a relationship last and cause conflicts as you are both arguing with the things you opt not to support.
Lack of time- lacking time with your partner will start conflicts both parties need attention so you must both give time to each other.
Paranoia- paranoid person tends to assume things a lot, which leads to conflicts as it will make the relationship toxic and insensible at all.
Negative attitude - negative attitudes of your partner will cause conflict, as it will always oppose your way with negativity that makes the relationship unhealthy.
Stupidity - being stupid will always harm a relationship, doing things stupidly. Stupid actions assert the failure of relationships.
There is no perfect person, to begin with, but as relationships go deeper we should learn to compromise and make adjustments towards each other. Always believe that there is room for improvement.
If I missed something you can add it and share your insights with me, feel free and let's meet in the comment section 😊
Nice work. Thanks