@Eybyoung
edited
more from that month
How I Handle My Long Distance Relationship? Me and my partner are already in a relationship since April 6, 2011. We are exactly 10 years now, and counting. We started our relationship when I was still 18 years old and he was 20 years old. We we're already in a long distance relationship ever since.
If you happen to read my little series of my love story, you'll know that we live in different places back then. I live in province while he lives in the city, I never thought that I will last in a long distance relationship as well because I need someone who is always there to lift me up when I am down as I was a problematic person.
How I managed to stay in a long distance relationship? Aside from we were already in a long distance relationship back then due to different places we live in, my partner's chosen profession is BS Marine Transportation or what we called “seaman or sailor”. I never ever thought we will last with our set up but I was glad we did. *“My partner on boarded last July 27 now they reached their post destination at Japan and currently at anchorage.* *He didn't contact me yet for how many days after their voyage, their ship doesn't have WiFi because the ship route is different unlike his last ship where he signed off their port destination is only Japan to China and vice versa.* *Maybe he didn't buy simcard yet, because he doesn't have money. I don't know when he can contact us again.* *This is the perks of having a partner who works at the sea, you don't know when they come online. They usually said, only as strong woman can love a seaman and I bet yes because not all can wait faithfully with their partner or vice versa.”* Source: my noise.cash post https://noise.cash/post/l0jxn0pw I posted that on noise.cash and @BCHvlogger01 asked how to handle long distance relationship.
She was asking how to be like me, I mean how I managed to handle it because she said she thinks she can't handle long distance relationship as she always overthink and had a lot of what ifs. “**Every port report, every place replace”** I am aware of that and when people heard “seaman” they'll always have this idea “seamanloloko” or cheater because they travel different places and they'll meet different races of woman, or *ibat ibang putahi* lol. @Ruffa even teased me about it.
But I was never a crybaby and probably you never heard me ranting about it. Actually I've been there, a lot of what ifs, fear of being cheated and I was really cheated to be precised. But why I was cool and never have this anxiety of being cheated again or missing my partner like crazy? Before when the pandemic did not happen yet, usually seamen's visiting seaman's house or seaman's club when they are in port as part of relaxing after their long voyage and tiring works. You know in club there are prostitute woman, or if they cannot go to clubs they will request prostitute to come over the ship *“akyat barko”* in our term. Man has physical needs, sex. They can't have it while they're sailing so if they can't control themselves they'll pay for prostitute for a short term pleasure, *“pagoda na ang mariang palad”* lol, if they don't have a doll (sex toy). **So how did I handle all those damn reality about seaman?** Well, I was once a paranoid, a toxic girlfriend who always wants her boyfriend time and attention. I don't want him to enjoy others company even his childhood friends but I overcome all of it. Acceptance for who he is and his chosen profession Inorder to maintain our good relationship, I accepted him for who he was and his profession. I cannot change his profession just to compensate with my paranoia. So I accepted it and extend my patience, including the fact that he might use some prosti, of course it's nerve wrecking even just thinking about it but what can I do? My partner is not a **saint** lol. He might do mistakes but I just warned him that if ever he can't control just use protection to avoid STD or HIV, and never ever let me know about it or I'll beat him to death, and leave lol. Forgiveness and understanding As I said I experienced that he had some flings lol. It took me how many years to overcome and let go of it. Why I didn't break up with him? You know when I was in my darkest days, like I said in my story he was there. When I am about to throw myself away he picked me up and never leave my side. I cannot just let go of our beautiful beginnings just because of flings, we built a strong bond together. He asked for forgiveness and show that he meant it. I also understand that it's part of his growth as a man. Because as I said in my story I was his first girlfriend and he was a *virgin*, I was his first in everything. Man are explorer's, it's part of their growth. Trust and good communication Its hard to trust when you experienced being cheated right? If you read my story again in the beginning I cheated on him too. It's like we are even haha. But how did we mend our broken trust? I dunno but we really have this strong bond that whatever trials we have it cannot be shaken. Maybe because during our down times we stick with each other. We have the same attitude as well, we don't speak things we cannot do or we don't do promises. We are also frank with each other, so if ever there are confusions we confront each other right away to avoid misunderstanding. Occupying my time to avoid over thinking This is the reason why I was very grateful when I met read.cash, as I've learned many things my time is almost preoccupied and I don't have time anymore to overthink, to think about fears and what ifs. I'll just busy myself learning and exploring. To avoid missing him that much as well. Now that we have a kid, sometimes I just cry when my daughter says *“Daya, si papa he's not coming home yet”*. I mostly shed tears for my daughter missing her dad. Because it's not easy without a father by our side, I experienced it as I don't have a father. Faith in God I have prayed for the man that God will give me long time ago, and I believe he was the one that He gave me. As I grow up and became a better person when I am with him. I believe God will never give the one who can harm me, as I was precious to Him. My partner has faith in God as well. My partner might have some lapses but I know it's normal because he is not perfect, but we are perfect for each other chaaaaar, sana all diba? 😂
Closing Thoughts All I can say now is that I can live without a man by my side, I must say I mature along with our experiences. I just tell my partner not do the same mistakes, because it's not a mistake anymore it's already a habit and I also assure him I'll do the same. He knows I am now very addicted with writing lol. I also told him to never fool me again, I reminded him with my capabilities. “Don't do stupid things that will ruin what we have, if you think you are a good player, always remember I am already a varsity you know that, don't push me to do Olympics and get gold medal”. 😂😂😂 Tricking and playing with fire has been my hobby before so he should not messed up,LOL! Alam niya ilang lalaki dumaan sa palad ko at pinaglaruan but I am too old to do that now, if things comes worst I will just let go and build myself again then find some fortune in the jungle lol. I can see as well that he is already mature enough to know what is right and wrong. Temptation is always there but he has choice and me as well. I also pray for our relationship guidance, and I also pray that he'll manage to resist temptation so we will have lasting and harmonious relationship. Thank you for reading! `Date Published: August 6, 2021`
94 comments
Wooow, napaka strong nyo naman po ate. Siguro kung ako yan hihi. Di ko alam if kaya ko 😅. I am not into ldr kasi and I am not strong sa ganyang area. But I do admire couples like you po na grabe yung commitment sa bawat isa. Stay strong po kayo 🤗
It depends on our perception and preferences din kasi, if you know it yourself that you cannot handle things then don't get yourself into it. Hehe thanks for the wishes Sequoia ☺️
I admire your strength in accepting the fact that he might be with other women during his time away from you. It is not easy to do but still, you understood that sometimes he might need to do that. It might be weird for us since we live in a conservative country but I know that in much more liberated countries, it is normal for people to have some fun with others even if they are in a relationship, they do this with their partner's permission too. Your advice in how to handle LDR is good. Hopefully it helps other people as well.
It was hard accepting that, it takes a lot of time but later on as we grow up together I've learned to accept things slowly and still learning to master it. Thanks for a wonderful comments as always Zeh ☺️
Happy for u po n wishing u the best n long lasting happiness with your partner po, as for me, lol, we are really separated na po tlga 'coz he said, he can't do it anymore na daw po, guess i'm a toxic girlfriend 'coz i'm not serious, never tell him the whole truth, sneaky, just playing games, hiding somethings at him n had a guy here according to him, lol
Haha, sorry bheng I don't laugh at your break up but your bf is a joke. It's good you broke up, Relationship that make you stress instead of growing up together is not the right Relationship.. you'll find your the one soon ☺️
Thank u po n hope so po, sometimes can't help but wonder lng po, where did i go wrong or if there's something wrong lng po tlga sa akin that's y i always ends up broken hearted, lol, salamat po sa upvote, miss eybyoung 😊
Hmm, I don't know how you behave towards your partner so I cannot asses you with that. But one thing is for sure if Relationship is toxic and does not made you a better person then it's really not the one
Binasa ko talaga ito ate pagkakita ko sa post mo sa nc. Nakakakilig po kayoo. Trust and faith lang talaga yung foundation ng LDR. Stay strong po sainyo!
Hahaha nakaka kilig pala yan 🤣 anyway yes tama ka trust and faith is one of the strongest foundation of Relationship may it be LDR or not.
You are a strong woman sis. I admire how you handle your LDR relationship. I also had a long distance relationship before but it didn't work.😁 I heard many stories about having a seaman partner. Some of them did not last. But may mga matitino pa din naman.
Yeah, many have failed relationship with seaman. Ours are still on trial but hopefully in God's will we will survive everything hehe
Magsusurvive yan. From what I have read from your stories, mukhang mahal na mahal ka naman ng partner mo.😊
Tiwala talaga ang susi. Tsaka pagiging matapat naman ng isa. Combination ng dalawa equals a perfet LDR. Pag may isang nagkulang delikado yan. Matapat ang isa ngunit walang tiwala ang isa, mali. Malaki ang tiwala ng isa, pero di naman tapat ang isa, mali din. Mutual talaga ang pagpapatakbo ng relasyon. Saying these stuffs kahit hindi ako makarelate! 😂
Yes, it takes two to tango haha. Ganon lang and ma feel mo nmn yan pag nasa relationship ka na if he is genuine with you or not, it's instinct. Hahaha soon you'll experience it.
I love this line " don't push me to do Olympics and get a gold medal" hahaha. Bilib ako sa fighting spirit mo ate. 💗
Hahaha well, I have this talent kasi that I can get a guy easily lol not to brag but I did try it to him 🤣
Sanaol nalang talaga sa iyo haha
Totoo na madaming tukso sa barko , minsan Yung Kapitan pa magdadala ng mga babae pero nasa sa lalaki nadin yon Kung Kaya umiwas sa tukso.
Oo totoo yun sinabi din nmn nya na ang Captain mag order nang mga prosti HAHAHA mga hayofff 🤣
Oo haha. Ilalagay k tlga sa kwarto , depende nlng sayo Kung gagalawin mo 😂
Haha kaya nga litsi buti na lang covid ngayon 🤣
Kudos sayo sis, ang LDR talaga eh para sa matatatag na tao lang. Kaya siguro naging matatag kayo eh dahil nasanay na kayo sa ganyang set up. Kumbaga you started as LDR na talaga. And tama din un paraan mo na di magoverthink,yun maging busy sa ibang bagay...
Yes sis, ayoko lang ma stress sa mga bagay bagay na di pa nangyayari at minsan nmn I already painted it on my mind then I tried to adjust myself if ever some unexpected things will happen, I already adjusted my emotions kumbaga advance move on hahaha! I believe na matatag kami based from our experiences as well.
Yun ang maganda, pinatatag kayo ng exleriences nyo. Yun iba kasi give up agad..
He is not perfect, but we are perfect for each other. Yiiii, sana all talaga! 😍 Pero grabe yung pagka LDR, fighting! Trust, communication, and prayers to God talaga will make it work eh.
Hahaha sana all, sorry mga singol char 🤣 Yes yan lang talaga mga bagay na dapat meron sa isang Relationship to make it last may it be LDR or not.
Trust and open communication rjud ang key sa LDR madam eyb ba. 😁 Hehe
Yes, hehe kung wala mo ana bitaw toxic gyud kaau ang relasyon labad ras ulo x🤣🤣
Wow, that's so cool of you. Progressive and a modern wifey. Gusto ko ung may paalala pa na pag hindi na kayo, exercise protection na lang? Hahahahaha Dayyyuuum. That's really... wow.
Hahaha syempre ganon na lang, I told him to use protection na lang para di rin ako mahawaan if ever jusmi, pero wag ko lang din talaga malaman, maliit lang akong babae pero sadista ako hahahaha
Wahhh..😲 10 years!😍😍😍 Well, sa 10 years na yan, I know marami na din kayong mga challenges na sumubok sa relasyon niyo at talaga Ma'am noh? At syempre naipanalo niyo parin, kayo pa din eh..ayieehhhh.. Hmm.. Hindi talaga madali ang LDR din kasi, especially na yung sa inyu po, malimit na nga lang kayo na magkasama, nakikisabay pa yung internet connection niya..hihi Kita ko naman na happy kayo. Sana ay malampasan niyo pa ang mga challenges na maaaring dumating pa sa relationship niyo. All the things you have mentioned above, eh' talaga namang importante yun .. Stay Strong!😍😍😍 Fighting!💪
💕Congrats po for that long relationship despite the distance... A true relationship will last with the help of trust , communication and ofcourse maturity.. A mature partner always know what is the right thing to do when temptations attacks...May the good Lord keep him safe for you and for his family.😊.Gusto kopo ung sinabi mo sa closing thought 😅
Hahaha alin banda na closing Thoughts? 🤣 Thank you so much for the wishes 😊
Wow congratulations to you for having such a long time together. It is not easy and you both need a lot of trust in each other. I wish both of you that you keep having each other for many years to come.
Thank you Peter for your wonderful wishes 😊
You are a very strong and pleasing person. Good rarely we find one these days. Let your love relatiomship last for years. Iam sure , one day or other, your partner will get to how lucky he is to have you.
Well.... Nice.
Pasintabi naman sa kumakain aba. Muntik na akong mamatay sa inggit ee 🤧😂. Pag ako ata ang may ka-ldr ako ang unang unang magsasawa ahaha. Ewan lang, not so sure. Mas gusto ko talaga kasi ng tigasin ee. Ung di agad mauubusan ng lakas ng loob. Amahaha. Pero Congratsuuu talaga sa kanya, coz you're so faithful. Ewan nalang if nagloko pa sya ah. Parang nag tapon sya ng gold 🙄. Pero ito talaga ang highlights sa lahat ng nisabi mo ee *“Don't do stupid things that will ruin what we have, if you think you are a good player, always remember I am already a varsity you know that, don't push me to do Olympics and get gold medal”. * pawerrrrrr
Hahahahaha alam mo ba rason din talaga bakit mas pinili ko ldr dati, diba nga may nag pursue sakin pero sya pinili ko? “Ayoko kasi malaspag, ayoko lagi ako ginagamit sa kama” HAHAHHAHAHAHAHA! Yun talaga yun Yun nga sinabi ko sa kanya alam mo nmn abilidad ko I can get a guy whenever I want, isa kana don kaya don't me 🤣🤣
Seriously, I learnt lessons here. You are really a strong woman. You handled your long distance relationship so wisely. I hope I would be able to do this too following your steps especially the part that says you met read.cash so you don't end up thinking about what ifs etc. I am glad you both are still together till today. It takes a matter of patience and understanding.
Yes, it is really a great help to make ourselves busy so we will not think unnecessary negative thoughts that can trigger us.
Iba talaga yung varsity player na madam eh,,,di ko rin kaya ang LDR kaya minabuti ko nalng di pumatol sa mga seaman..at masaya pa din naman ako sa pagging single
Hahaha mahirap din talaga seaman partner eh daming kaakibat na negatibo pero wala eh, kami na nung di pa sya seaman hahaha
Long distant relationships is not the faint of mind at all. One have to be strong and i must say you are really strong Eyb. I can't try it at all. People with trust issue shouldn't dare go into it too.
Haha if you can't handle things might as well Avoid and never engage on it to avoid getting hurt and countless stress.
I was likeee Ohmygaddd hahaha I have a long way to go by understanding this man in my life. Yess thats true. I already set my mind that it is his profession and I dont have any right to hinder his dreams because at the first place it is his life not mine.
So your partner is also a seaman? Hahaha good luck, you should learn what I wrote in here 😂😂
😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣😂😂🤣 I wouldn't want you to participate in this kind of Olympics hahaha. This is an enjoyable one and you nailed it on the head. God above all no doubt especially when you share the same faith and hold the same values. I believe communication is vital too because it helps you to know you are not alone in this and of course, engage yourself with profitable things as you have rightly said so as to avoid overthinking what's not worth it. It requires a lot of effort and understanding. Having the right kind of friends would help too as they won't have to feed that person with unnecessary thoughts. The kind of values we hold ourselves to will help to determine what we would do and wouldn't do. It is easier to stray off to cheat when we don't hold ourselves to values.
Hahahaha that's why I decided to retire and didn't pursue olympics 😂😂😂 Yes I agree with right friends not to feed negativity, glad I don't have real friends in our place. I have a few but we only communicate in social media too and it's very seldom as we have our own lives to get busy with.
More comments