It's been a hard journey in my life four years ago although I've been fighting my own battles ever since, as I entered the world of motherhood without being prepared. I admit my pregnancy was unplanned. But unplanned things are the most exciting things we will ever experience, we will see the strength to endure everything. The strength we thought we never had.

Motherhood is the stage wherein I don't prioritize myself l anymore, it's not about me but the child. It's been a challenging journey becoming a mom for the first time, I might be prepared but I can say I nailed it. Because I have to make decisions that will probably change me for the sake of my child.

I give up my job and choose to be a housewife and a mother

I had a regular job back then in manila, although it was just a minimum wage plus overtime pay being a regular employee is something hard to achieve in our country, as there are a lot of people who are jobless but I chose to let go of my job because I chose to be a housewife and a full-time mom.

It was a hard decision because my partner doesn't have a stable job at that time as his career wasn't smooth sailing. But I chose to let go of my job for some reason and want to take care of my child by myself.

It wasn't that practical decision before because we are not financially stable but I have savings and I used it all to fund our needs.

What are the reasons that made me decide and chose to be a full-time mom?..

My child was not close with me, or she's not recognizing me anymore

When I give birth to my child, I filed for 3 months' leave at work. It was granted because I was CS and in our country, 3 months leave for CS and 2 months on normal delivery.

After three months of leave, I go back to my work, my baby was taken care of by his dad because he doesn't have a job at that time. From that my baby stops breastfeeding in me, she was comfortable in bottle-feeding.

As the days go by my baby does not recognize me anymore, she doesn't want me to carry her and she will always want to be carried by her dad. I was very hurt because I carried her for nine months, I got CS operation in delivering her yet she does not recognize me. I cried silently. It was very painful on my part.

She got sick easily

When she stopped to breastfeed in me, she became a “pink baby”, wherein a baby got sick easily. It's like every month she's sick and develops pneumonia, Manila is crowded and the weather is hot, we don't have aircon that time because we cannot afford it anymore as I was only the one who has a job and it's only enough to pay our bills and for food.

It is said that when baby is healthier when they are breastfeeding but my baby stop it as I was not around the whole day because I have to work and she doesn't recognize me anymore, that's why she was forced to bottle-fed. I have a lot of milk, I used to pump it and leave the milk to her but as the days passed my milk production stops as she stopped feeding directly in me.

When I became a full-time mom, my baby's health improved as I continue to do some research in finding remedies to cure her illness and glad I found a solution as she was already antibiotic-resistant.

We planned to bring the kid to the province and I will continue to work but I declined

At first, we planned to let the kid stay in her grannies and I will continue to work to support all her needs and my partner will also look ka for a part-time job to wait for his lineup.

Upon seeing the situation that she doesn't recognize me anymore and she's very sicky, I decided to give up my job. We went to the province, her dad's place. I decided to go with her because I cannot afford that she will grow up without recognizing me.

I want to take care of her

It's very painful growing without the care of your direct parents, I don't want my child to experience that. I want to nurture her with my own.

I want to be a mother, whatever it takes. It may be hard financially but at least I am with my child.

We are not yet married legally with my partner so I also think advance if ever our relationship does not work out, I have to make sure that the child custody is with me. If ever I just left her with her grannies for sure she will not go with me in case some serious problem occurs.

I believe the kid will grow up better under my care, especially that she's a baby girl. I have to make sure she's safe from any sexual abuse. Although her grannies and uncle are blood-related to her, I still want to make sure that I can protect her against any possible danger as I experienced many times of sexual abuses even if they are blood-related to me.

I give up my work for my child sake

In the end, my decision was based on our situation. No matter how hard it is, I endure the hardships to live with my in-laws just so I can make sure that my child is safe, that I am always by her side whenever she needed me.

As for being a housewife, I am doing my best to be a good one. I want to be the light in our home.

So, instead of going out to work, I find ways to earn money online, so I can also help my partner financially as we are not yet really stable.

If times come that he can fully provide us financially, I will be just by his side. Support him and build our home. To nourish our kids and serve him at my best.

Before I used to plan on coming back to school to finish my degree and find my career but now? Not anymore, I decided to be a full-time mom and housewife forever and just find any extra online just so I can have my own money without the expense of leaving my child for work.

I also want to be the one who cooks food for us, cleans the house, and more so I can have touched on everything that involves my child and my partner. I wanted to take care of them instead of paying other people to do my job because for me they are precious and I cannot let other people have held onto the things that are precious to me.

Closing Thoughts

My family is more important to me, I grow up without family care so I am doing my best not to let this happen to my child.

Money can be found but the lost time with my child if ever I chose to work will never be replaced.

I may not be ready to be a mom when I know I was pregnant, but I am pretty sure I did all my best and will continue my best to be a good mother and a housewife. I will always be there backing up both, my child and my partner with my all.

Having a bright career as a woman is great but building your home is greater, as it was priceless when you mold your home together with your partner and just don't leave the kids with others' care.

But don't get me wrong, I salute all the working moms out there it's not easy to work and be a mom at the same time but if your husband can provide for your family's needs then why not chose to be a full-time mom? Not unless your partner is not capable enough to provide all the financial needs, then that is considerable.

Thank you for reading!