Don't count the things you do for your parents.
May 7, 2022. Saturday.
I once said before that when there is a conflict in our family, as much as possible I don't want to be involved but of course I can't just ignored the happenings in our family because I also need to know the causes of the conflict. But I don't take part with them anymore when I know I shouldn't get involved because it's the elders who should fix the mess.
This morning an uncle of mine told my grandparents some words that I didn't like. My grandparents (in mother side) have 6 children, my mother is the eldest of them. My grandparents' children are 3 girls in a row and also 3 boys in a row. And the one who spoke to my grandparents earlier badly was their youngest child. My grandfather and grandmother moved from place to place, sometimes they were there with one of my aunties, my mother's next sister, sometimes there with another auntie, their third child, but now my grandfather and grandmother are here with us. And my uncle is also here, the youngest son of my grandparents. Because an auntie of mine told my uncle that he would take care of my grandparents first, after all, he doesn't have his own family yet.
This uncle of mine is 30+ years old, don't have a wife and didn't have children. In fact, he just started to worked when lock down implemented because my grandparents can no longer work because they are senior citizens. But then even as senior citizens they were still working when there was no lockdown. My grandfather is a tricycle driver and my grandmother sometimes sells vegetables because we have vegetables here at home and that's what she sells in the market. My grandfather and grandmother didn't encourage my uncle to work becuase he always complained every time he worked. My uncle would say that his work was too hard, his boss was rude, his co -workers were fighting with him and whatsoever. He already tried a lot of work but it didn't take long and he quickly gave up on the job so my grandparents didn't force him to work because all he did in life was complaints. My uncle has an unpleasant habit and I have witnessed it since I was a child. This is because he has always stayed in our house since I was young so I can really see his behavior. Almost most of our neighbors were able to fight with him becuase of his attitude and he couldn't get anyone to talk to him. So I also wouldn’t wonder why he doesn’t last long in any of his job.
Like I said, my grandparents didn't encourage him to work, so he just hung out at home in his 20's. He doens't pay any bills here at home. My grandfather was in charge of paying the Electric bill and my mother was in charge of paying the Water bill. The food is also bought by my mom and my grandfather. My grandfather buys foods for my grandmother and his youngest child, my uncle, my mother buys foods for my sister and me. So in short, my uncle doesn't really spend anything and doesn't pay anything and my grandfather just feeds him.
But during the pandemic, my uncle was really forced to work since my grandfather and grandmother couldn't really work anymore because the senior citizens were forbidden to go out since during the pandemic so they really stopped working. My uncle found a job but he doesn't really take his jobs and he gets tired quickly. My mother still works for my sister and me but her salary doesn't enough since she is the one who pays the electricity and water bills now, so my uncle actually ordered to feed my grandparents he is not being asked for a share in the electric bill and water bill, and the thing he only need to do is buy foods for my grandparents. But when we have extra money, we still really give foods to my grandfather and grandmother because we know that my uncle will complain.
And just this morning I heard a bad word from my uncle. He told this to my grandparents. This is what he said "Nay, Tay don't expect to rely on me, not because you see food there, you will do nothing anymore and you will just always expect me to provide food and as long as you have something to eat the both of you will do nothing. ". When I heard that, I was really hurt for my grandparents. I wanted to answer my uncle but I restrained myself because I knew he could hurt people. Yes, he can hurt people because he has fought several times before until now, he has also physically hurt some of my other uncles as well as his father and my grandfather. So I restrained myself from answering my uncle and I just looked at my grandfather and grandmother, my mother didn't answer my uncle either because if he hurt us we might not be able to do anything because we are most women here at home.
I was angry with my uncle because he said that to my grandparents. He didn't even think that then he almost fed and revived by my granparents, he almost did nothing here at home but sleep and eat, my grandparents didn't force him to work, he doesn't pay any bills, now that my grandfather and grandmother can't work anymore, he just speaks to them like this, because my grandparents can't feed him anymore, he says bad words to them. Because my grandparents are weak now and can no longer resist him. My uncle has been working for just year and that was nothing during the time my grandparents worked for him but he managed to speak badly to them, he criticized my grandparents.
I wrote it not to expose my family, I wrote it so that others would not imitate what my uncle do.
Even though our parents are old and they can't help us anymore, we still should not speak harsh words to them. Our parents are the reason why we are here on earth. We still need to cherish them and love them especially and that is what they need when they are old, the love of their children. And let's never blame our parents for the help we do to them because in fact they have helped us a lot since we were young.
Hopefully this will be a lesson for most, for children like me. We should not blame our parents for the hardships we do no matter what happens because they also never blame us for the hardships they did before to support us and raise us well.
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Thanks for reading this.
Keep Safe and God Bless us always.
Don't Forget to Be Nice and Be Good to Everyone.
Bye.
Lead image source: Unsplash
It's not our responsibility to help our parents, but as a responsible child, I guess it's common sense to repay the hardships they withstood just to raise us well. Just saddening for some who seem to divert to another path just because they already know how to stand on their own and already have the audacity to belittle and disrespect their own old parents.