You're My Favourite Murderer

Hello Beautiful Souls and Strong Hearts all over the World. How are you? How was your day? I wish and hope you all are well and healthy.

First of all I want to thanks @Bloghound and at the same time I want to show my immense gratitude towards you for your sponsorship. Thank you again for believing and putting your trust & faith on me, sorry for tagging you without seeking your approval or permission.

Let's get started today's topic ___

What is Love? Can we define Love just by using some words step by step? The answer is absolutely NO. There is no one who can give the perfect and exact defination of Love.

But we can say that Love is a kind of feeling which lead us to take care for someone.

Have you ever loved someone? I think most of us have the experience about Love at some point including me. I also fell in love with someone, that was unfortunately or fortunately one sided love. I learned a lot from that unsuccessful love since then I have no courage or time to love anyone else again.

**___________________**

My Dear Killer of Mine

Do you remember that I sacrificed myself for you, but you did not accept my love or me for even once. That love ended with a painful and sad ending, this is the most expected outcome of one-sided love in almost all cases.

I can still imagine or feel those beautiful moments and memories when I first planted my love feelings and affections for you.

I was very happy when you accepted me and my childish love in an instant but I did not knew that time that you never accepted my love or me with all your heart, you were just pretending to love me back. I think I took at about five long and sad seasons of cycle to fully understand and digest that beautiful but bitter feeling.

Let's forget about this sad ending and my shattered heart for once.

I'm pretty much sure that__. You knew that I was crazy for you. You knew that I gave my all heart to you. You knew that I could not imagine one single moment without you, but you took advantages of my love , of my simplicity.

My relationship with you is a snail's to it's shell(according to myself). You took one second to forget that you were my only sun in my lonely life. You forgot that I was just blooming for you, but I was one of those millions of options you had. You counted me among the other stars but even after realising that I didn't mind it.

Do you remember that when you were feeling thirsty I quenched your thirst with my blood and soul.

Do you remember that even when I was drowning in a fiery Ocean , I was only thinking and talking about you, about your love.

Do you remember that I used to search only you but you were trying your best just to hide from me.

I never stopped for a single moment thinking about you. I engraved your existence, your name in my every breath. Your position was eternal in every dream of mine, my each & every dream was only about you. Can I call them Dreams or it will be better and more accurate to call them an illusion?

You torn my body limb from limb. You dissected my soul. But still I did not stop loving you. You were well acquainted with this fact maybe that was why you got the scope to ignore me, to hurt me, to neglect me even more.

I kept running towards you, but you kept running just to get rid of me, my most precious and pure love. I kept loving you more than before even after your uncountable attempts to hurt me.

I was a fool, I did not understand that_. I was chasing a mirage. I forgot that you were not my beloved & peaceful dream actually you were just a nightmare which never failed to hunt me specially on the dark helpless and sleepless nights. Your love like ignorance forced me to run after you until I had blisters on my legs and wounds in my heart.

I always made yourself strong and smile whenever I saw your shinning face just to make you sure and showing my love for you, but you never missed a chance to trampled down my feelings.

I loved you with all my heart, with all my soul that is what I can do easily even now. I'm not saying that I knew everything, I just knew how to love you, how to care for you, how to protect you from all the evil eyes, how to make myself available every single moment just for you. I used to follow your every foot steps. I used to follow your every heart throb. I used to follow your every breath. I used to follow your long dark shadow like a lighthouse.

Your ignorance did not allow me to express my love to you. I wanted to tell you that I'm okay with my eternal one-sided love. I will keep loving you in my uncertain future too.

Do you remember when you bid me your last good bye, I was shouting & screaming with all my energy, I kept saying to you that I would not be able to live without you , to breath without you ,my eyes were bleeding with the tears of blood , but you did not notice or listen to me.

You made me cry. You made me weak. You made me fragile.

Even your lovely excuses could not console me, did not give me peace. That was when I noted down with my tears on my heart's dictionary "LOVE IS A BIG LIE ITSELF."

Every single person told me that you will never come back to me but I did not believe on them, I set aside all their opinions, though I was gifted with the paralysis of heart and soul.

Have you ever seen a dead petal of flower? I was just like that dead petal, I was simply decaying with time.. I had nothing to do but decay over time.

Then a full season of cycle had passed, I could feel that my broken heart started to beat again after a long time with a small gleam of hope and possibility.

That was the first time when I thought about anything far from your existence and shadow.

It's okay to fall. It's okay to get hurt. It's okay to tear apart. It's okay to be rejected. It's okay not to be loved by someone. It's okay not to be okay for sometimes.

Now look at me, look at my progress, look at my improvement. Now I'm not decaying. I'm blooming again in a new way. Just like this picture___

Now I have learned how to love myself. Now I have learned how to accept myself. Now I'm happy, I'm in contentment. These are the only things which I wanted from you. It took so long time to learn, to accept these things. Now I'm living a new life. Now I'm enjoying my life..

Still I'm hopeful maybe in another world, in another life we were meant for a happy ending but not in this life, not this time.

Closing Thoughts :—. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading my article. Thank you soo much for your support and love. It is not a true story, I was just wandering my thoughts lying on my bed , this is the fruit of my that thoughts.

I don't understand when will I see Rusty in my article. Now I'm waiting and I'm hopeful that it will happen very soon. Let's hope and wait for better.

Erum(17.10.2021/7.12pm)