I wish I could tell my grandmother how much I love her

Today is exactly 40 days since my grandmother passed away, my father's mother ...

The last time I went to my city and my country, I visited her once. When I went to see her, I found that my hands are empty, why I didn't give her anything as a gift, why I did not pay attention to her.

Honestly, I always paid all my attention to my maternal grandmother, I was dying for her, I loved her like my mother, and when she passed away about 4 years ago, she cut a piece of my heart and took it with her, I have to write about her here later, to write that how much I worshiped her...

I was saying that I had been so engrossed in the love and affection of my maternal grandmother all my childhood that I had forgotten my paternal grandmother, although I loved her very much, but she was always far from me, perhaps because she was a strong and introverted woman. She never showed her love and affection to anyone, she always stood away, unlike my maternal grandmother who was full of love, who opened her mouth to say only love and kindness, maybe because my maternal grandmother was an extrovert person and all her love and affection was on the tip of her tongue and in her kind hands.

It is now 40 days since the death of my paternal grandmother, the last time I went to my country 7 months ago, I saw her. We went with my mother to see her, how warmly she welcomed me, how happy she was when she saw me, when I went to her house I just understood why I went with empty-handed to see her, why I didn't take anything for her?

Image link: https://pin.it/3BrSBb8

Now, if she was my maternal grandmother, before I went to my country, I would have thought about her, I would have bought and taken a lot of things for her.

I was really wrong about my paternal grandmother. Why didn't I give her any gifts that day to at least show that I remember her and love her.

We talked a lot that day when I went to see her. I talked about my life in exile and she talked about her loneliness. Finally, I hugged her tightly before leaving her home, but I didn't know that this was the last time I would hug her. She gave me a box of biscuits and I left her house with my mother.

I didn't know that this was the last time I would leave that house, I couldn't see her anymore. even when I wanted to return from my trip, I only talked to her on the phone to say goodbye, and when she died I wasn't there, I was not at any of her ceremonies. Today was the 40th day after her death and the family held a ceremony for her, but I wasn't there again, I didn't have the opportunity to ever make up for all this negligence, I wanted to bring her a gift this time, that I don't repeat my previous negligence, but I didn't know that it is too late, it is no longer a grandmother who opens her door to me with open arms, I wish I was a little closer to her during these years, I wish I spent a little more time with her, I wish the last time I saw her I would tell her how much I love her, and suddenly how soon it gets late ...

I pray that her soul will be at peace and forgive me for all my negligence, how late a person knows the value of her loved ones, how soon a person grows up and has to bury all her childhood memories one by one, with the death of her dear ones. I no longer have any grandmother or grandfather. those who left, my childhood and youth are gone and now I am on the verge of a cold season...

Lead image link: https://pin.it/57AXPzk