The One That Got Away: Dating App Version

Well, who would have thought that I will be writing something about love and relationships again because it's been such a long time since I have felt this feeling, that it became a foreign emotion for me already because I could only feel it once in a blue moon.

Although it is not literally about love and relationships, this one is actually just a love or farewell letter that I wrote, specifically for someone that I've met on a dating app called "OkCupid".

Some of you probably know, especially the ones who follow me on my noise.cash account, that I installed this dating app about a month ago just because I was bored and my friends made me do it too. At first, I just wanted to talk to people and get to know them, but I became too hopeful that I will get to find "The One" on that app, which made me feel like every guy that I get to talk to is probably the one already. Perhaps, it was just me being too "marupok" or hopeless romantic.

It's been a tradition for me to write a farewell letter to the guys whom I got to know and eventually had an emotional attachment. So since this guy that I've talked to for a couple of weeks has been living rent-free in my mind for weeks now, I decided to also write him a letter. I'll probably send this to him since I know we won't get to meet in person anyway, so I might as well just be as vocal as possible about how I felt for him.

Anyway, here it is. Mehehe! 😂

Dear Andrew,

Although I don't vividly remember the exact words that you sent to me when you swiped right on my profile in OKC, the feeling I felt the moment I read your message is still clear in my memory. At that moment, I thought there was something in you, which made me want to know more about you. And so I swiped right and replied right away.

You were probably disappointed by how aloof I acted which showed with the way I replied to a couple of your messages, because, perhaps, I did not respond the way you expected me to be.

Truth be told, I really don't know how to make and hold a good conversation. Maybe, it's because that's just how I really am, a quiet person who only likes to listen and not be the one to do the talking. That even though how excited I am to want to get to know you, I still couldn't express it in a way that you could understand.

I immediately became more interested in you when you shared your dream when it comes to relationships. As I was reading through your long chats detailing everything that you are looking for, I was a little hopeful that maybe you are already the one for me, and I was hoping that I will be the same to you.

But then, I again didn't know how to express my thoughts and compose a message that would let you know that I appreciated how straightforward you were and that I was also looking for the same thing. It was nice to know that there was still someone who knows exactly what they want in life.

If my memory serves me right, we exchanged a couple of messages before you decided to send a bittersweet goodbye, which was obviously because of my distant and cold replies.

To be honest, I was disappointed and hurt when I read your message, not because I'm the one who's supposed to ignore you first, but because I thought I lost the chance to get to know someone who could potentially be the man of my dreams.

That's why after an hour or two when I realized I shouldn't just let the chance go, I sent a message hoping to restart the conversation. And I'm glad you replied.

Although my words contradicted how I felt, I hope you didn't believe me when I said that I was only after my revenge. Well, if I were to actually get revenge, it would be to make you fall in love with me so that if we end up together, I would get to tease you that you initially said goodbye to the woman whom you'll eventually end up with.

In case you didn't know, I am not fond of video calls. That's why I was reluctant at first when you mentioned it because I know I would only feel shy during the call. But because I wanted to prove that I was a genuine person and that I wasn't a couple of high school kids, I gave it a go.

I know we've only talked for a couple of weeks, but I feel like I have learned so much about you already, and I know there is still so much to discover. But if I weren't given the chance to learn about them anymore, I still would like you to know that I'm grateful I met and got to know someone like you.

I may not be a good judge of character but I believe that you are a great person and a good father to your son, and you will be a loving husband to your future wife. And if your stories were true, I hope you know that you deserve someone who would never cheat on you because you deserve to be loved and cared for.

Now, although my heart still wants to hold on to that little piece of hope that you are already the one, my mind says that we are not a good match. And no matter how much I hope and wish that our banters were even half-meant, it's probably not the case for you.

So I want to say that the last almost-3 weeks that we spent exchanging messages were one of the most wonderful weeks that I will remember. Although I didn't get the end game that I wanted, I'm still happy I got to feel foreign emotions that I only get to feel once in a blue moon, and it's all thanks to you.

I hope that you will be able to explore and see more of the beauty of the world, witness your son grow into an amazing human being, marry the love of your life, and build a happy family together. And I will also hope for the same thing for me.

In time and eventually, you will find your Allie whom you will grow old with, and I will also find my Noah whom I will stick with forever.

Love,

~Florie Mae