Aishiteru

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Written by
4 years ago

You are my man

My very handsome man

You are good, you are loving

You are kind, you are caring

My man, you are sweet

You are thougtful, which makes my life complete

You love me as I am, no questions I had found

My man, I thank you for loving me abound

You truly are a gift, a gift I truly treasure

Your love so true , a love which can't be measure

Through sweetness or bitterness, you protect me so limitless

Aishiteru! My love, May our love be boundless

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4 years ago

Comments

"I love you" is a good title. Somehow what you wrote doesn't touch me. It feels more like I am reading a list of facts which you made rhyme at the end. Perhaps it sounds so much better in your own language?

Note a poem does not need to rhyme. A poem expresses the feelings of the writer. I wonder if this one would sound better if you used a few more words of your own language in it.

I wonder about this sentence "a love which can be measure". Are you sure this is what you meant to say?

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User's avatar wakeupkitty
4 years ago

This sound more like a songs lyric to me than a poem. It sounded almost like a narrative poem but I cannot see any narrative content in it.

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User's avatar heartbeat1515
4 years ago
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