Not everyone is your friend.

When you get older, you tend to realize that is better to have a small circle than having a bunch of people.

I realized this when I start working on my second job. I cannot always attend to their eat-outs and out of town trips. They thought I was just trying to refuse their invitation but little did they know I was struggling for years to make a living. I'm at this point in my life where I already retired from night outs, drinking sessions, and other activities that require me to spend more than my salary and will require me to spend time with people I don't personally know.

There are times and I still felt the bitterness from them. Like they don't want to invite me anymore cause they know my answer will be NO. but I don't care cause I make time for them whenever I'm available and I make sure to attend those important events in their life.

It sucks when people think you're always available

It sucks when you let them feel like you're always available every time they want you around. It sucks when you're the one who wants someone to talk to in times you're feeling low but you end up not talking to everyone because no one tries to listen.

I've been in this situation for a long time. I can say that my friends are comfortable sharing their struggling in life with me. I've heard a lot of relationship issues, family problems even those I am not totally related to.

I still listen

I still listen. They are my friends. But there are times when I am the one who needs someone to listen but I can't talk to anyone. I tried. but not everyone will understand your situation except they experienced it on their own.

Last time, a friend of mine told me that her mom always demands more than what she's giving for their budget. Even though my mom is not that kind of person, I understand her situation because I am also working for my family. I told her this is the only time where I'm able to talk with someone who has the same situation as me. I told her to leave me a message whenever she felt like there's no one to listen to. ( That time she tried to contact her best friend but leaves her on seen ).

Maybe, I am the one to blame.

I always make people comfortable sharing their problems with me. I am a good listener, and I'll try to make you feel like I am that person who will always here to listen to you no matter what happens.

That's why I can't help but feel disappointed if people find it hard to understand if I'm not available sometimes. Cause there are times that I have to sacrifice or choose between invitations just to attend one.

These past few years. I've met a lot of temporary people and I have no regrets. People come and go. but there are still people who will stay no matter what happens. I always make sure that I left a good memory for everyone I've met.

I saw this quote on the internet. It says

" Sometimes your circle decreases in size but increases in value "

We are not teenagers anymore. We already have responsibilities to do.
I don't totally set aside having fun, I still make time for important people in my life especially those who are present in my darkest days. but please understand that people have their own life and instead of feeling bad about them because they cannot go out with you like they use to. why not try to ask them first? They might need some help but they're just too shy to ask.

Keep safe everyone.
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