Coffee

When I was a kid, I wonder why my father and my grandpa always talk a lot. I mean, they never run out of topics whenever we visit their house during the weekends.

My grandparent's house is just a few steps away from home.
Conversations will start after my grandpa finished making coffee for them. Sometimes, he makes me some hot chocolate drink and he makes sure that it is lukewarm before he gives it to me.

I never get tired of his world war 2 stories and how he survives.
My grandpa has a collection of soldier memorabilia, badges, and other vintage things that I find fascinating. I miss them both. I'm really close to my grandfather than my dad. One time, my dad spank me because I almost broke our television when I throw something inside the house. I ran to my grandpa's house and decided to sleep there for that night but my dad came after a couple of hours and told me to go home.

Now that I'm older, Coffee is really important to get through the day. It's not just a drink, it's a form of " rest ", rest from everything that's bothering you, rest from all the daily struggles that you're facing. Every sip of coffee is like a warm embrace telling you to move forward and never quit your dreams just because you're tired.

Now that I'm older, I realized that adults never run out of things to talk to because it's all in their heads for a long time. Whenever I have the opportunity, I always share my thoughts with my friends.

However, there are times that I want to keep everything to myself. Here, inside my mind. People always find me starring into space. I have a lot of things in mind, most of the time they tend to rumble and I don't know how can I manage to keep them.

They are all in my head. At night. Before I go to sleep. They don't want me to sleep. Things that keep me awake at night are the plans that I wanted to take place as soon as possible but will still require time in order to accomplish.

Things that I hope will happen soon because I want my mom to experience them before it's too late. God knows I'm trying, but the only thing that I have now is myself. No one's here to help. They only care about their own future while I am continuously sacrificing my dreams just to make sure that I will give them a decent future. Sometimes, I wonder what if I decided to leave it all behind. Set aside all the responsibilities that I have right now and start a new life with just me. But when I do that, my conscience will hunt me every night, also, I told my dad that I will take care of mom.

Look at these words I have in mind. To be honest, they're just the same as my previous articles. but that is what's inside my brain right now and they keep coming back. The only thing that I can do to help me not overthink this is to publish them here. I write them in a journal way back then the good thing is we have read cash now. It's not just a platform but a form of therapy I swear.

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