The art of claiming...!!!

Making a complaint or an observation is sometimes quite difficult for us.

Some people choose to remain silent, fearful of causing more trouble or hurting susceptibilities, hoping, with their passive attitude, to gain the approval or consideration of others by trying to be complacent; they think that if they complain, they will be an element of discord within the group, or they will run the risk of being considered conflictive, demanding or rather weak in personality.

It is not actually in the nature of humans to harm others; rather, we are always waiting to be accepted, appreciated and respected by others. We live looking for the best way to maintain a good relationship with people, and yet sometimes, without realizing it, we end up mistreating them, even those we love the most.

It is important that we learn to express our discomfort when we feel mistreated, ignored or abused, otherwise we will hold a great resentment and we will have the worst of opinions about that person, becoming a victim of the situation, and without giving ourselves the opportunity to face it to solve it.

Remember that all the emotions we repress become, over time, a kind of poison that affects us negatively.

When someone suffers the consequences of the unfair conduct of another person, they must complain immediately, always looking for the best way to do so, since the most likely thing is that whoever caused the offense is not aware of the damage they have done. Most of the time it is worth giving him the opportunity to acknowledge and correct his mistakes.

Expressing what we feel in a fair way helps us maintain good relationships. Let's learn to do it!

Make your claim personally. It is always best to speak directly to the person who has affected us. Let's never try to get the claim through someone else, because instead of being fixed, things will tend to get complicated.

Find the right time. It is important to choose the best moment to express what we feel and think, always taking care of the words that we are going to use so that our message is received and understood by the other person.

Don't make comparisons. These predispose others, make them close and not want to hear our comments, even if they are justified, no person likes to be told that another does it better or is more competent.

Avoid preambles. Many times we give so many turns to what we are going to say with phrases like "I hope you are not going to bother, but ..., that instead of reassuring our interlocutor, we manage to put him on the defensive, thus interrupting good communication .

Do not apologize for making your comment. Feeling guilty or afraid after expressing your discomfort or frustration will detract from the value and strength of your claim; in addition, it will awaken doubts in the other person.

Make your claim without emotion. Don't put an emotional charge on your words. Fear, aggressiveness, irony, sarcasm, or contempt will only complicate matters.

Objectivity, serenity, maturity and patience will be your best tools.

Be grateful. Once you have made your claim, do not say phrases such as: "I hope this situation does not happen again, rather, if the person is willing to do something to correct it, tell him looking into his eyes:" Thank you for listening to my observations " .

Remember to make only one observation at a time, because if you make several complaints at the same time, you run the risk of demoralizing the other to the point that he feels attacked and does not solve anything.

Ask what someone else can correct. We can ask him not to raise his voice, but not that he agree to everything with us. We can insist that he change his way of claiming, but not ask him not to do so when necessary.

Let go of the past, stop worrying about the future, live the present, life is wonderful, everything will be fine.