From now on, I’m done worrying or even thinking very much about the future.

I’ve spent way too much time worrying about how my life will end up; whether I’ll be able to do things I want or if appliances are going to break, whether I’ll have enough money to retire and travel when I’m older, whether I’ll meet the guy I can live with for the rest of my life, or anything else.

Thinking about the future, beyond keeping me employed and allowing me to have saved a little money, hasn’t done me any favours so far, so I’m done with it.

The world in which we live does not encourage much calm and stillness, because there’s always something to do or think about. But since life happens in the present and the only way to really enjoy it is to be fully engaged in the now, we have to actively practice the stillness and calm that prevents us from worrying about the future or regretting our past.

Now I’m committed to changing my ways in order to change my thought patterns and have my mind fully engaged in the present. By that, I don’t mean I’m going to give up on a better future, but rather I’m not going to worry about it or dissolve into feelings of hopelessness based on certain things not having happened yet.

That requires being aware of and practicing the art of mindfulness. Mindfulness allows us to understand deep down inside that anything is possible and anything can change at any time. And no matter what happens everything is still going to be fine

Seek not to know where the path may lead, only to keep your feet upon it.” — Melissa McPhail.

Let Things Flow

There are certain things a person has to think about in order to keep their life out of the realm of chaos, such as planning how much and in what type of investments to put in their retirement accounts, deciding whether to change careers or get a degree, and whether the person they’re thinking about marrying is the right one.

Unless that type of decision needs to be made, I’ve learned that it’s best to just let things flow. Even those kinds of decisions are easier if a person’s mind isn’t cluttered with baggage from the past or about the future.

True happiness only exists in the here and now.

Thinking back on my life, it’s been most satisfying when I’ve been completely engaged in what I’m doing. Vacations, for instance, like when hiking in the mountains or lying on a warm beach, when I’m not worried about work or home life.

Here at home and in town, the times I feel the best are when I’m doing things like my favourite sport, sitting in the sun by a pool, or writing an article. Even at work, if I’m not worrying about something else in my life, I don’t mind being there. When I can fully participate in activities without thinking about something else, my mind is at ease.

Why can’t we always be in that state of mental calm? Probably because there’s always something we can think about, other than what we’re doing or experiencing at the time. We’ve been conditioned to let our thoughts control us, rather than the other way around. This “other way around” is a way of describing mindfulness, the practice of allowing yourself to observe your thoughts without becoming a slave to them.

There’s a lot of literature out there recently about mindfulness, but it’s nothing new. Henry David Thoreau and Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote poems and essays about it hundreds of years ago. Many religions, including Buddhism, Taoism, and many Native American ones, are based on it. And there’s a good reason for that. Mindfulness is a crucial component of happiness

How to Start Living in the Present

To begin practicing mindfulness, make it easier for yourself by starting when you’re in a good mental place. Once you develop the habit, that foundation will also help you through the bad times.

One simple way to harness the power of mindfulness is to focus on your breathing, taking three or four good breaths and paying attention to how a long exhale helps calm your physical nerves and letting it help you regain your focus.

You can also work to notice the physical sensations involved in the things you do every day, like showering or walking your dog. When faced with something mildly frustrating, think about why it’s happening, which allows curiosity to take the place of frustration and also gives you the tools to make the best decision.

The Paradox of Mindfulness

Although the successful practice of mindfulness can provide many rewards, a person cannot receive those rewards if they’re consciously focused on them. That’s why in order for mindfulness to work for you, you have to have a certain faith that the results will come.

In my case, after realizing I’d probably psyched myself out of the results I’d wanted in certain areas of my life, I decided I had nothing to lose and everything to gain by making it a point to live in the present.

Mindfulness, or focusing on and appreciating things around us at any given time, allows us to think of ourselves as part of humanity, rather than our own separate entity. That allows us to be less self-conscious because we become less worried about what others will think of us.

Self-conscious paranoia is one of the most uncomfortable feelings there is. Confident people pay attention to what’s going on in their immediate environment, not on what people are thinking about them. Ditching the self-consciousness keeps us from getting lost in our own minds, which frees us from inventing new things to worry about.

Thinking in the present tense takes away the assumptions and defensiveness that can ruin relationships. If we focus only on what is going on now rather than assuming someone meant this or is saying or doing something because of something that happened in the past or might happen in the future, we don’t react in the impulsive way we otherwise would.

It’s important to savour the present in order to avoid worrying about the future. This reminds me of a time when I was in a beautiful place with an ex-boyfriend and I wanted him to stop so I could get out and take a picture. He acted annoyed and I said “I might not ever be here again!’

He was practicing a textbook example of not living in the moment. He was so sure we or I would be back there someday, and was so conditioned to put things into the future, that he was almost unwilling to stop and savour the moment. Too many instances of that type of behaviour can really cause your life to pass you by quickly

Negative Thinking Mostly Relates to the Past and Future

Have you ever taken the time to notice that most of the bad thoughts you’ve had have either been about the past, the future, or a hypothetical situation?

That’s exactly how thinking in the present tense can actually melt away worry, if you make it a habit. You can do the same thing to eradicate ruminations about the past. Get outside, go for a walk, and force yourself to keep your focus on what is going on now. Pay attention to details; the fresh air on your face, the sun, a bird, anything. And make it a habit.

“I have known a great many troubles, but most of them have never happened.” -Mark Twain

Developing enough faith to live in the moment will transform our lives.

Instead of taking things for granted, when we live in the moment we make it a practice to notice everything as it happens. That can attract good things, maybe even miracles, because it allows us to notice opportunities in the here and now that may be disguised or not visible with anything other than “fresh eyes”.

Mindfulness and living in the present keeps us objective, logical, and non-reactive. It keeps us from sabotaging opportunities and relationships. When our minds are open and present, anything is possible.