The Quest for perfection

The dream is to be the perfect human. You desire the idea of being perfect: the perfect spouse, the perfect employee, the perfect writer. The list goes on. Yet, the quest for perfection only burdens you, it blindly leads you to unhappiness.

The goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is to be happy.

If you look for perfection, you’ll never be content. — Leo Tolstoy

Perfection can be self-destructive in its nature. You’re left thinking, “you suck”, you think you suck because your work is not perfect.

The voice inside your head tells you to give up, don’t even try and improve. It’s really not worth it. You’re stupid; you lack talent.

You agree with the voice in your head. You’ll never be as good as them. “Give up now and leave it to the experts”, the voice says again.

This voice manifests in your mind, telling you to quit — whispering sweet nothings in your ear.

I know this whole process, as well. It still haunts me to this day. Even as I write this article, something tells me I should give up, something inside me. It reminds me that I failed English three times. I’m fooling myself if I think I’m a writer.

The perfect article

I sit there staring at a blank page, waiting for the perfect article to somehow magically formulate on the page. I’m overwhelmed with pressure.

“Anything you write can be fixed. The only thing you cannot fix is a blank page” Neil Gaiman.

I’m terrified of being judged for my work. I wonder if people will see through the facade, will they see I’m a traitor, pretending to be a writer. I can’t write a perfect article.

What does that even mean? What makes an article “perfect”.

That’s right, nothing, nothing is ever perfect. Everything has its flaws. That’s what makes life and art so damn unique. Even the elite writers of Medium make mistakes. They are human, after all.

You must fight the need to be perfect. Push through, write that first sentence, move your hand across the page, see the words appear. Before you know it, the draft is finished. Who cares if it’s full of errors. This is your creation. Created by you and your unique mind.

They can be deleted. It was never going to be perfect, not the first draft or the twenty-second.

Treat your first draft as you should, the first draft. Nobody in the world is going to read it, except you. You can delete 99% of it and publish one sentence. Nobody will know the rest ever existed. It never had to be perfect.

Learning to live with imperfection

Perfection manifests its way into your life. It makes you demand perfection for every little thing.

This is stopping you from enjoying life. You are left feeling stressed and disappointed all the time.

All your friends and family seem to have their shit together. Why can’t you be like them? Learn that perfection is not attainable. Everyone has flaws. People look at you and wish they were as perfect as you.

Learn that your quest for perfection is only hindering your progress. If you were “perfect”, how on earth would you grow? Perfection means 100% complete, finished, flawless.

You would stagnate if you were perfect. Nothing would bring you joy.

Remember, being imperfect is fantastic. It is how you live a genuinely fulfilling life.

With each day, you can get 1% better. Every day that passes will bring you one step closer to your goal of being better. Better, but never perfect.

Once you remove this thought process from your mind, you will become free. You are free to enjoy life with all the flaws and hick-ups you encounter along the way.

Your mind is now free to be creative. Your mind will be full of ideas. It is no longer being held back by the pressure of being perfect.

Becoming present

If you are forever trying to be perfect, you will find yourself stuck in a vicious cycle of critique.

Drop the need to be perfect, become fully present in the moment. This is when you begin to experience life.
For most of my life, I was my most prominent critic. Everything I produced was trash. I’d finish a drawing and throw it away even if my dad told me he loved it. It would still go in the bin because I didn’t think it was perfect.
I was never really present, I was never actually happy.

Since changing my framing on perfection, I have begun to enjoy life even more. Add in my newfound sobriety, and my life is now fantastic. I notice that I can’t be perfect. My work can be as good as I make it.
I’ve started exploring any insecurities that may have caused me to feel this way. As these are become addressed, I can feel my confidence rising.

Perfection is not attainable

When you’re caught up in the quest of being perfect, you forget how to enjoy life. Remember that perfection Is not attainable!

The perfect job does not exist, nor does the perfect body or life. Social media has twisted how you view reality. Everyone shares the best aspects of their lives naturally. Imagine how boring social media would be if everyone shared every single tedious element of their lives.

Remember this next time you compare yourself with another “perfect” person. Compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. Look at how you can improve in the moment. Look for that 1% improvement over a year. That’s a massive improvement.

Remember, you’re perfect the way you are. With your many flaws, that’s what makes you beautiful and unique.