The Birds And The Bees.
Lead image by me.
Times are changing and the sooner we realize that, the better.
**When was the first time you heard about sex?**
Approaching the sex talk the old-fashioned way isn't working anymore.
If you're a lady, the first and the only time your parents (your mom) had this conversation with you was probably when you saw your period for the first time.
I remember someone telling me that her mom told her that she should avoid touching the opposite sex and that once she does, she'll get pregnant.
That narrative probably worked in the 80s when there were no really social media or easy access to pornography but not anymore. It didn't even work when I was growing up even though access to social media isn't as common as it is now.
To answer the question, the first time I heard about sex, I mean when I really recognized the act for what it was in school. My final year of Primary school. I was ten, I think.
Of course, I've heard references to sex growing up, I wasn't quite sure how it worked until my social studies teacher entered the class and wrote sex education on the whiteboard.
She gave us notes about it, it was expectedly not detailed. She announced that she would explain it in her next class. We, the curious 10-year olds were impatient and we proceeded to check the meaning in the dictionary. We were required t0 take our dictionaries to school every day.
Funny how we never thought to check it until that moment. You can imagine my shock when we saw the words and it felt so vulgar to me like I was reading something I wasn't supposed to read. It felt forbidden but I read it anyway.
That gave us something to talk about for the rest of the week.
So, in the next class social studies, the teacher started to tell our class teacher that she couldn't take us on this topic. She started by asking us if we knew what sex was. No one volunteered any information and she didn't bother explaining, she just spent five minutes on parts that didn't make her blush as much as her mentioning sex.
**My next question is why do the older generation(parents) act like it's something forbidden, something not to avoid talking about when every other thing is promoting it?**
There's barely any movie that they don't show two people intensely making out and waking up on the bed half naked hinting at sex.
Social Media is aggressively promoting this, everyone talks about this everywhere.
It doesn't make sense for the young ones not to be curious, the main question is,
**Do you want them to learn about it the wrong or right way?**
Parents should really stop feigning ignorance about this, tell their children what they need to know, and tell them about their bodies.
**When did your parents have 'the talk' with you?**
This is what some call 'the birds and the bees' talk. This is a metaphorical story to explain sex to children. The reference to birds and the bees show that it's a natural activity. For example, birds laying eggs is similar to ovulation in women.
These days, people call the whole generally talking to your child about the activity the birds and the bees.
My parents indirectly talked about sex with us, especially my mom. My mom used to watch movies and kdramas with us. When she saw a misconception about any sexual activity, she would point it out. It was sort of weird then though.
My dad still does, he tells me not to trust any man, that men basically are scum. It can be weird too.
Someone asked me this question recently:
**How would you feel if your life up till this moment was recorded and given to your parents or guardians to watch?**
Would you allow it?
I can't allow it😂😂, their disappointment would be massive, what about you?
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April 21, 2022.
©Deeepensiverse.
Individuality...
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A friend of mine asked a question a week ago on his Whatsapp status, paraphrasing, **'What shapens someone's character, the family or the environment?'**
I know that various factors mold a person's character and beliefs but undoubtedly, those two are the main ones.
I'll tell you the answer we later agreed on.
You might have seen some people refer to a 10-year-old that was supposedly gang-raped during a school competition held in Dubai in their articles.
The whole issue started when she was suspended indefinitely from the school, her parents didn't understand the reason for the suspension as they thought she was raped.
A family friend called the school out on Twitter and boom, the whole thing escalated. It turned out they made a video in which reports said that she was fully aware. The video, apparently showed that the sex was consensual and didn't look like it was forced one bit.
Reports said there are other videos of even a supposed threesome, bloggers discovered that she even has a likee account where she posts sultry videos and has accumulated quite a number of followers.
Obviously, several people have different opinions on the matter.
Some felt that it was due to bad parenting, they said it looked like the videos she made was shot at home, and that her parents must have been negligent.
Some felt the school was at fault for not putting strict measures in place in Dubai. Let's be honest, there is only so much the school can do, a parent that followed her child to Dubai even said that the teachers were strict and she didn't understand how those kids managed to pull it off.
I don't blame either of them.
As someone said in a tweet yesterday, **'i don't think there is a code to parenting. We should just try our best according to our beliefs and verifiable information available and hope to get lucky with how our kids turn out'**
If you think the parents weren't very strict, maybe they weren't, maybe they even neglected her but what about those that the parents tried so hard to raise in a godly way.
I know someone, personally, who was born in a Christian home, her dad is a pastor, her ear isn't even pierced and she wasn't allowed to wear trousers or make her hair a certain way.
When she entered the University, she went out of hand, she deliberately wanted to get involved in what her parents tried so hard to shield her from and now, what she does puts pornstars to shame.
The funny thing is that when she gets home, she's this calm, prayerful person, the people her parents condemn is even better than her kind of person.
She has a sister, her sister is exactly the kind of person her parents wanted to raise, the exact opposite of her.
They were under the same parenting, what went wrong?
This is where my answer to the first paragraph comes in.
Individuality.
Our parents may try to tell us what to do, they probably introduce religion and try to inculcate their beliefs and standards.
The environment could be where we grew up, the society, social media, friends, and so many other external factors.
It's completely left to us to choose what factor shapens us, which shapens our decisions.
I'm extremely scared of parenting, what if my child decides to ignore my attempts at inculcating him/her and decides to go along with friends or the society.
It's a scary world out there.
Do you think differently? You can share your thoughts in the comment section.
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April 19, 2022.
©Deeepensiverse.
This or that? Travel edition.
@Lead image by me.
Happy Easter friends, there was a holiday In Nigeria today so it was a work-free Monday for everyone.
How was your day?
My day was pretty chill, I needed the rest, I haven't been feeling too well lately.
I decided to jump on this challenge after I saw @Jumper-01 's article on it, you can check out the article here. https://read.cash/@Jumper-01/this-or-that-travel-edition-08d5cdc0
Adventure or Relaxation
This is hard for me, I have never really gone on an adventure, it's definitely on my to-do list but at the same time, I love relaxing. Nothing beats staying home and doing absolutely nothing😂. So I would say both, I can't pick one.
Heat or Cold
Definitely cold, who chooses heat over cold. Have you ever been somewhere that has low ventilation or under intense sun and it feels like the gate of your sweat pores has been completely removed and you can't seem to control it? I hate feeling that way, it's so messy and dirty. So Cold anytime, any day. At least I just have to cover up my body well during cold seasons.
Hotel or Apartment
There are actually conditions to this.
**If I'm staying with my parents**, I prefer hotels, at least to cool off for a few days but **if I have my apartment,** as much as hotels are cool and all, I would still prefer the comfort of my apartment. I love my space.
Sea view or Forest view
Sea view.
I love looking at the waves. In my school, we have this place called the lagoon front, sometimes, I'll just go there to stare at the lagoon and just think. It has this calming effect on me. I love taking pictures of it too so I definitely prefer a sea view.
A forest view, on the other hand, scares me, I'll keep thinking of the animals that'll be there to even enjoy the view.
African trip or European trip
European trip without hesitation, I definitely want to leave the country and the continent, explore other countries. A European trip is right on target.
Paragliding or Swimming
I can't do both but definitely swimming. Swimming is less scary than paragliding. At least there's a lifeguard in swimming, who'll save someone that's paragliding. This reminds me of a drama I watched where a south Korean heiress was paragliding and she mistakenly landed in North Korea. If you watch Korean dramas, you know that North and South Korea are not Friendly to each other one bit.
Train or Aeroplane
Aeroplane... I wonder what the view will be like from up there, it'll be an interesting sight. I have never been on either but an aeroplane is more appealing to me.
Posh Restaurant or street food.
Definitely a posh restaurant, the ambiance is so classy, I love classy things. I love places that are picture-worthy too. A downside is that the food would be overpriced, and Street food is easily accessible, unlike posh restaurants where you probably have to make reservations.
Massages or campfire
Give me a good massage any day, the one where you moan softly to the feel of the hands on your body and wish for never-ending sensation, yeah, that one. A campfire can be entertaining but I won't give up a massage for it.
Pool party or a snowball fight
I love parties. A pool party, to me, is more fun than a snowball fight. I'll get tired of throwing a snowball around but sitting around the pool sipping wine is so relaxing.
Water sports or picnics
I'm not any good at sports so I'll choose a picnic plus I love to eat. A picnic is fun for me compared to water sports.
I had fun answering these questions, I really did.
You can also join the fun.
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April 16, 2022.
©Deeepensiverse.
Childhood Dreams - A Prompt.
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Ladies and Gentlemen, it's the weekend!!!
There's just something about weekends that gets me excited.
Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, Happy Easter in advance.
Today was pretty eventful for me, from the exercise in the morning to all the cooking, and finally eating. Today was another of my cousin's birthday. Most of my Cousins are born in April.
Today, I was thinking about a question I asked another of my younger cousins, I asked him what he wanted to study at the University since he was going to be in his final year of secondary school soon.
He said anything, he said he doesn't know and I called him 'NFA'. You might be familiar with that acronym or not. It means 'No future Ambition'.
Somehow, when I did call him that, I remembered my younger self. I was in my final year of secondary school and I struggled to pick a course to study at the University.
I was in the Science department, most of my friends wanted to be doctors and I wasn't quite sure what I wanted.
Who knew I'll end up studying Biochemistry.
I initially chose Pharmacy after a lot of research, I heard it was a good course considering the fact that I loved drugs, I love drugs, it fascinates me, I know it's weird, everyone says it. I just wonder how it works.
Who knew I'll end up studying how everything is metabolized in the body.
I started thinking of all I wanted to become right from when I was small. Children have big dreams, I was a child and I had big dreams.
I remember I wanted to be a **Doctor**, like every other child. I would imagine myself diagnosing a patient. I even had this jotter where I wrote the patient's name and diagnosis. Thinking about it is so funny.
I had this 'I want to be an **Engineer**' phase too, I remember when this Alarm Clock of ours spoilt, I dismantled everything to repair it. I did end up abandoning it. I thought I was going to be really good at Engineering because I was good at mathematics. I thank God I choose Engineering because of what my friends studying it are going through.
Only God saved me.
I also wanted to be a **Lawyer**, my mom called me 'Baby lawyer'. I was always arguing with everyone and trying to make people see things from my perspective. It earned me a lot of punishment from my parents a lot. I would argue to a point that it would become rude. It was unintentional though. I think I would have been a good lawyer.
There was a time I thought I was a good **Actress**, I would practice acting with my sisters, and my sister thought I was good.
I also wanted to be a **Rapper**, If you've heard me talk before, you can affirm that I talk pretty fast. A lot of people find it hard to catch up and I always have to repeat myself multiple times. So I thought rapping would be a good career for me, coupled with singing( I thought I had the most amazing voice). I'll have you know that I used to practice rapping all the time then.
I would try rapping to what I wrote, I wanted to be a **Songwriter** too, I can still remember a few lines from a song I wrote a few years back but I won't share it, who knows if I'll end up becoming a songwriter? You'll hear it then😂
I also wanted to be a **Blogger**, I guess this came true, I always wanted to share my thoughts and feelings with the world. I always wanted my voice to be heard. I'm glad I'm on that path. I tried writing a book on Wattpad about 5 years ago, I stopped halfway through, maybe I'll pick that up soon.
I have always wanted to be so other many things but I have to stop here now and I'm sure many of us reading this article also had dreams.
I actually want to read so many of your dreams so let's make this a prompt.
Write about some of your childhood dreams and where you are now.
Did you actualize all of them, some of them or did you end up on another path?
Tag me, my username is Deeepensiverse, I want to read yours too.
Tell someone about this and let them participate too, it'll be fun.
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April 16, 2022.
©Deeepensiverse.
Good day friends, Happy Good Friday, How are you doing?
Well, I'm tired and famished, I had a really long day and a low battery too.
I won't be publishing an article today😩.
I will also engage your articles tomorrow when I've charged my phone and I'm well-rested.
I can't wait😁😁
Losing It Increases Its Value.
Lead image by me.
My sister and I recently argued, playfully though. I gave her one of my clothes because I didn't like the way it looked on me. When she wore it after a while, it looked so nice that I wanted it back.
I playfully told her this and we bantered over this, she reminded me that that wasn't the first time that was happening. I had previously given her something and wanted it back when I saw how nice it looked on her.
Don't blame me, I had thought the cloth wasn't nice but she said she liked it, so I gave it to her, she wore it and it became nice. My first thought was 'how would this look on me, maybe it'll be nice on me?'
There was a drama I watched too, the vice-chairman of a big company and his female secretary. The secretary had been working for him for 9 years and they have very good teamwork, they weren't intimate. It was strictly work.
Then out of the blues, the secretary decided to quit, she had finished paying her student loan and just wanted a break. Her boss panicked, she took care of everything ever since he joined the company. He used everything to lure her but she wouldn't budge. He was really scared when he realized he was going to lose her. He hadn't thought much of her before.
There was also this story of a man who cheated on his girlfriend of seven years, they were to be married, he married the person he cheated with one month after that incident instead. It was when he got back to work that he discovered that his ex had been helping him with one of his important duties and because she wasn't there, he was on the verge of losing his job. It was so serious that he had to go and plead with her to help him.
Let me even give an example that we can relate to well, especially in our day-to-day activities. When you wake up one day and decide to do a thorough cleaning and throw away things you regarded as unimportant and thought you didn't need, then boom, three days later, you find yourself in a situation where you need those things you threw away.
It could even be something as random as a nylon or rubber band.
That's life for you, the saying '***you don't know the value of something until you lose it***' plays out in our everyday life.
Something even more recent happened, I wasn't active on this platform for a while, when I published my first article after a long while, you can check it out here, I was scared it would have been spammed before I did, I remember talking to @Greatwolfman in fear. I remember how scared I was.
It was that time that I thought to myself 'if it was this important to you, why didn't you try harder to balance what you had going on with read.cash
We only realize the importance of some things in our lives when we lose them or we are on the verge of losing them.
So from that moment, I decided to seize the day, put equal energy into everything I'm involved in, and see the value of that thing even when it seems like it has little or no importance.
I hope you do that too, to avoid situations where you have to say '*Had I known*'
It shouldn't be until we lose someone, we realize their importance. That's why someone said most people get flowers when they die unlike when they are alive.
It's when someone dies we hear almost everyone say good things about them.
So, let's appreciate people while they're alive, let's appreciate things while we have them.
Call that person today, treat that person right.
It's better that way than regretting it and beating ourselves over it when we lose it.
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April 14, 2022.
©Deeepensiverse.
Money or Intimacy?
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'*Will the temptation be too hot to handle?'*
Netflix released a reality TV series in 2020 titled **Too hot to handle,** you must have watched it. If you haven't, you probably should.
This show is so hilarious, I remember my reaction as I started the first season in 2020. I tried really hard to understand the participants but I was still shocked because....Moneyyyy.
'We're talking about money here, how can they spend that amount on something so fleeting, no one can keep it in their pants these days'
I think I later got to understand when I finished the first season.
In the words of Desiree, the narrator, '*we found the hottest, horniest, commitment-phobic swipesters and given them what they think is the most exotic and erotic summer of their lives only to reveal that one thing is off the menu. S*x'*
The whole idea was to help them form deeper, meaningful, and genuine connections.
They invited the fifteen participants to the villa, fully equipped with everything they want and don't want like the virtual guide called 'Lana'
Lana helps to enforce the law in the house much to their chagrin.
There's a catch though, there's a prize fund of $100, 000 which plummets anytime any s*xual activity is done, they disallowed practices like kissing, heavy petting, s*x of any kind, and self-gratification.
Every s*xual practice has an amount and would be deducted from the price fund.
The rate at which the money plummeted shocked me, there were some rule breaks I loved because there were from my favorites but some just made me facepalm '*like whyyyyy? That was so unnecessary'*
It was like the gravity of rule breaks graduated with each season, and there are three seasons.
The third season was way worse than the first two, they increased the price fund to $200,000 here and half of the price fund had dived by the fifth episode.
When I thought nothing could be worse, I went ahead to watch the Brazilian edition of too hot to handle on Netflix, I couldn't keep my mouth closed. They already broke the rule not up to thirty minutes after the s*x ban was announced.
I heard there's the Latino edition too, I hope to watch that soon.
I didn't binge-watch the series, I watched each season immediately after it was released and at the end of each season, I would think "See the way these people are blowing $300o for just a kiss, a kiss that barely lasted one minute"
I have a question for you reading this now.
**If you were on that show, and planned to have the time of your life there but discovered that you were on too hot to handle, the $100,000 prize fund still stands and you don't know how the winner would be determined, it could be the person who was able to resist the temptations for all you know, would you break the rules?**
By the way, $100,000 is about 58 million nairas.
I know your immediate response might be **NO** but think about it, really think about it.
I mean, you already planned your summer and how crazy It'll be with the opposite sex, parties, and your idea of fun just to be dulled with the idea of abstinence and cockblocked by a talking air freshener called Lana.
**Would you still not break the rules?**
Think about the unclad men and women, one of them probably has that really hot British accent that you're a sucker for.
**Would you still not break the rules?**
**Is the money enough reason to stick to the rules?**
As for me, I would absolutely still not do anything even for $3000. Money trumps all in my opinion.
We can always hook up outside the show😂😂.
What would you do if it was you?
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April 13, 2022.
©Deeepensiverse.
Lessons I Learnt From a Certain Popular Song.
Lead image by me.
Good evening, friends. How did your Tuesday go? Mine was cool, it rained and I was happy because of the cool breeze.
I was mostly busy though, today was so stressful that I barely had time to do anything for myself.
I kept thinking of what to write about, then my sister suddenly started playing this song and I had this aha moment.
Most of us know this song by now, it has been overused for TikTok videos, I got tired of it.
Can you guess the song at this point?
Yes, you're right, it's Kwaku the traveler by the musician, Black Sherrif.
If you haven't listened to it, please do.
I think the reason the song is so popular is that a lot of people can relate to the lyrics. I love songs with good and relatable lyrics.
*Of course, I f*cked up*
*Who never f*ck up hands in the air, no hands?*
*Still, I can't believe*
*You know what I mean*
*I was young, what you expect from me?*
*It is what it is*
*But I keep going o*
*More like a rolling stone*
*Cause I have no stopping time*
*Can't nobody stop a man*
*Oh I keep going on*
*More like a rolling stone*
*Cause I have no stopping time*
*Can't nobody stop a man*
*No, I go dey run my race*
*I'm gonna keep my pace*
*Cause I really have no one to blame when I fall again*
*I can't stand this pain*
*I can't watch me fail*
This part of the song I quoted is the part I can relate to the most and I guess that's the part a lot can relate to.
Lessons I learnt
**1) Recognizing you've made a mistake is the first step to moving on**. We're humans, we make mistakes, and it's understandable to a certain extent.
Refusing to acknowledge mistakes is a big problem, trying to pin mistakes on another person is also a big problem.
I know someone that would create a big mess and blame everyone except himself. He even gets angry when someone tells him that he's made a mistake. It's an attitude that won't get anyone far.
**2) No one has the right to make you feel less about yourself because of your mistake**. Once we accept our mistakes and faults, no other opinion should matter. We have to learn to tune out other people's derogatory comments to move on from them.
If we don't, we'll keep rethinking it and dwelling on it and it slows down our moving on.
I'm guilty of this, I'm working on myself though, I used to welcome every Tom, Dick, and Harry's opinion on certain mistakes I made.
I would face-palm, rethink the whole situation and accept those comments as facts. I then overthink the whole situation and hurt myself even more. I learnt to realize that those people are just people like me and they are entitled to their opinions. Dwelling on those opinions is the wrong thing to do.
**3) Resilience**. Don't let mistakes hold you back, rise from them, learn from them, and succeed despite those mistakes. Keep grinding, keep pushing, and it'll work out at the end of the day.
We can make those mistakes our stepping stone, everyone successful has their success story about the mistake they made about certain things, you could think about that too.
I know I do, when I make some mistakes, I think about when I'll be successful and how I'll make those mistakes part of my success story.
I know I'm digressing but this just made me remember all those motivational speakers that would come to my school to speak to us and we would believe them. Now, I just think about how gullible we were, they were probably hustlers looking to sell their motivational books to us the gullible humans.
I remember how we fell for it and bought those books that told us what we already knew.
I don't want to be that person that would have to lie for people to think I'm a great person.
The funny thing about this part of the song I got my lesson from is that people used that part of the song to justify the unjustifiable, you should really watch those Tiktok videos.
It's hilarious.
I choose to see the song in a positive light.
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April 12, 2022.
©Deeepensiverse.
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Mixed Mood Monday
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Hello friends, how are you doing? I hope you're good. Well, I'm okay, I'm just a bit pissed, that's all.
In case you didn't notice, I rhymed Mixed Mood Monday- MMM, not like it means anything in particular but I'm glad I thought of a headline and it coincidentally rhymed. I can be a kid at times😂.
But seriously, today was a rollercoaster of emotions for me. The was a mixture of the good😁 and the bad😩.
Before I get into it, I would like to thank @Greatwolfman for renewing his sponsorship and thank @Tomi-Ajax for his sponsorship. God bless you guys so much🤗🤗.
The Good.
**1) The one thing I love about Mondays generally is** that one of my favorite books gets updated every Monday. I know that when I wake up, there's always a chapter waiting for me to read. I love it.
**2) Well, I'm still euphoric from yesterday**', the news of one of my favorite Celeb Couple announced their engagement yesterday.
Temi Otedola and Mr. Eazi.
Temi Otedola is famous for being a billionaire's youngest daughter. Her Father is Femi Otedola. She's into acting these days though.
Mr. Eazi is a Nigerian Musician and he peaked in 2017, I think.
They started a podcast together and released the first season, in December 2020 and the second season, in January 2022. It's called 'How far with Temi Otedola and Mr. Eazi'
They're just sooooo cute, I love them, I wasn't all that surprised though. They've been together for more than five years now, I mean.
**3) Today's my Cousin's birthday**, so it was fun at home, we cooked, ate and had a lot of fun. I really enjoyed today.
The Bad
**Well, the recent news of the case of domestic violence made me sad.**
The latest, if you're not already familiar with it is the news of a popular gospel musician who died on Friday, April 8. We were first informed that she died of throat cancer but insider information said she died from domestic abuse. They said her husband hit her continuously on her chest and she had to be rushed to the hospital. She was on life support before she died.
She claimed she didn't leave the marriage to save face, she didn't want people to know what she was going through, and she didn't want to media to know.
People that knew her claimed that her husband acted as her manager, the money she made from her music went to him, and he only gave her little out of it. She was also going through emotional abuse.
She refused to leave because of what people would say.
**Does the opinion of people matter that much even when you clearly need help?**
I'm utterly shocked and devastated.
We need to learn to live our lives without giving a care to what instablog's opinion would be.
The sad truth is if she had voiced out, some would still blame her and found excuses for the man.
So, because she was worried about people's opinion, she died, leaving her two children for the beast-like man to take care of.
Only God knows how he treats them, it would be really bad if he beats them too. Luckily, the police have arrested him.
The Internet went wild, every one with various hot takes on the situation, everyone playing judge. Everyone putting on a perfect marriage front and coming out to advise her post mortem.
Men come out to say 'she should have left, this and that', them knowing fully well that they go home to practice wrestling on their wives' bodies.
It's so sad, the amount of people going through this is enormous.
When a woman dies due to domestic abuse, you say 'she should have left', when a woman leaves because her husband turned her into his punching bag, you say 'she's impatient, she's not ready to make things work, it's one of the downs in marriage'
How is domestic violence a down in marriage?
Why do people keep normalizing rubbish?
What is your take on this?
I feel like we're going in circles every time a case like this trends, everyone gives their two cents, and nothing changes. The next time another case like this surfaces, we give the same advice, and still, nothing changes.
I'm tired.
Thank you for reading🤗
April 11, 2022.
©Deeepensiverse.
Family, Friends, and Acquaintances
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Family, Friends, and acquaintances.
Arranged in the supposed order of closeness to a person.
Family comes first in most situations, your family should be closer to you than any other.
Though there are situations where Friends become Family.
We all mostly know the difference between friends and family but the line between a friend and an acquaintance is quite blurred.
Something happened a few months ago at my former internship place, I saw one of my coursemates there and our supervisor automatically thought we would be friends because we were in the same university and the same year. The other party sharply addressed that and said we were only acquaintances and I agreed because we aren't close.
I know some people that would have taken that personal, people tend to use the word 'friend' too loosely, we refer to everyone as friends, you meet someone one second, talk for a while and the next thing is that you refer to each other as '*Friends'.*
I like to think I'm a realist but sometimes I do this, I don't know why I do this most of the time, I think it mostly has to do with trying to keep a friendly front.
I asked my friend about this one time, I asked her why we generally refer to everyone as friends, she said " to make things simpler" which I totally agree with because it can be a hassle at times trying to explain that the person is someone you met at the canteen some weeks before and how you just wave when your paths cross and are merely acquainted with the person.
I'm a firm believer in small circles even though I don't have one, I'm a very friendly person and I get acquainted with people easily. Some of my acquaintances become my friends, there's this mental line between my friends and my acquaintance, I know the difference clearly but still, intentionally call my acquaintances my friends.
Cambridge dictionary defines a friend as 'a *person* *who you know well and who you like a lot, but who is usually not a member of your family'*. This outlines that friends are almost family, you're just not related by blood.
Cambridge dictionary also defines a friend as '*someone who is not an enemy and who you can trust'.*
An acquaintance
*Cambridge dictionary defines an acquaintance as a person that you have met but do not know well.*
I strongly believe that there's a need to know the lines well to avoid blurring. I hear a lot of people say 'my *friend* did this to me, I never thought that he/she could, I thought we were friends'
Some of these cases would have been avoided if we stopped blurring the lines.
It prevents us from trusting the wrong people and expecting some things from them.
It's only a safety measure because a family can even hurt us more than a stranger would ever and it cuts deeper too. It's unexpected.
I watched a drama a few days ago, the main character was a crazy math genius with an IQ of 190. He had an online company that was said to be the largest. He was closed off and shouted at everyone except his brother that was the deputy CEO. His brother was his opposite, he was calm and friendly.
While his brother went on a business trip, he was at his vacation house for the weekend and he was somehow hit by a car in front of his house. He woke up with amnesia.
We later discover that he had been faking amnesia all along, he had me fooled😂 and while he was in his pool of blood after he was hit, he saw his brother that was supposed to be outside the country there, looking at him. His brother left him there and zoomed off.
It was someone else that called an Ambulance for him.
He was unsure of what to make of it so he decided to fake memory loss to figure out his brother's intentions.
We watch his brother team up with his rivals to bring him down. A perfect example of the saying 'your family can be your worst'.
It was a very emotional moment for him as I watched the person he trusted the most betray him.
That was inevitable as he was right for trusting his brother and it wasn't his fault for having a shitty brother.
Knowing where people stand in our lives can prevent getting hurt unnecessarily.
These are just my thoughts, do you have a contrary opinion? Do share it below.
Happy Sunday, my read.cash friends.
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Thank you for reading🤗
April 10, 2022.
©Deeepensiverse.
The Uncanny Disappointment
Lead image by me.
The uncanny disappointment: what I ordered vs what I got.
People who know me well know that my mantra is that when you expect certain things from certain people or you except a certain outcome and it doesn't go as you wanted, you get hurt more than you should.
Expectations equal Disappointment.
We all know that I should have known, I should have not expected, in the words of a certain Nigerian comedian "*How could I make suchhh a mistake, sinzu money like me?*"
It's funnier when you hear the comedian say it, trust me😂.
Let me give the latest example of my expectation versus my reality.
Do you have that thing or that particular scenario you think of that just puts you in a bad mood? I think we all do. You know those Twitter threads of what you ordered versus what you got, that’s sort of it but with my life, school life precisely.
I wish I could color how wild and interesting I expected my university life would be when I discovered I got admission into my University except I'm very bad at drawing and my imaginations are glum now. The University, the Federal government, and the Country have managed to squeeze the last trickle of excitement when a warning strike was declared by ASUU a few weeks ago.
I'm not remotely excited about anything at the moment, that's why I've not even been able to write, I've just been off lately. I would just think about all these and get angry. It was that bad.
I was fine for a few days after the strike, I was living, more existing than living though till I joined my sister in watching the latest episodes of grown-ish at that time which I deliberately stopped watching.
Grownish is the spin-off of the ABC series Black-ish, it is basically Zoey Johnson’s university life.
I should have remembered why I stopped it but amidst the whole Aaron-Zoey-Luca debacle, I completely forgot, it was so nice to watch the way Aaron looked at Zoey, the way Luca looked at Zoey that I forgot to stop thinking and my thoughts spiraled to my sad life.
‘This was supposed to be my life, I was supposed to be the Zoey in my school', you can’t envisage the extent to which I’ve thought about this, I was supposed to have different guys pining after me, I was supposed to be ‘that girl', the one that everyone envied because of the money, the car, the guys and the looks but we can’t always get all we want, can we? Instead, I find myself looking for various ways to ration the stipend I get every week to keep *Sapa* away😂😂, I sometimes wonder how it’ll feel to afford everything I want and I don’t mean just my basic needs. I mean everythinggggg.
To worsen the whole situation, Zoey has graduated from college and I'm at home because of bad governance, I'm stuck in this phase of my life till God knows when.
I just want to move on, and get something else to do to actualize my dreams. Sometimes I just want to skip to the good part, the part where I've achieved everything I always wanted.
I wish life had a fast-forward or skip button.
I know you're probably thinking 'But Zoey's just fictional' but I just can't help it.
The funny thing is I know I’m not the only disappointed one. I'm pretty sure there are so many disappointed people reading this, I just happen to be the one voicing this out right now.
Orrr you might be lucky and you got everything you wanted and expected, if you're you got to give me pointers.
At the moment, I'm just living, not expecting anything, turned off my expectation radar completely.
I'm trying hard not to be too hard on myself, make use of these times to do things I haven't discovered yet😄.
If you are like me too, don't be too hard on yourself, it'll work out in the end.
Yayyy, so I wrote most of this article a while ago, can you relate to it?
If you can or can't, tell me.
Thank you for reading🤗
April 9, 2022.
©Deeepensiverse.
Hello Friends, How are you? How have you been doing?
As for me, I've just been living, I've been absent from Read.cash for a while cos of so many personal reasons some of which I'll address in my articles to come 😁
I'm back now and I couldn't be happier.
I missed everyone 🤗🤗
Love Triangles
Lead image by me, other images from unsplash.com.
**Deeepensiverse signs in**
Amorous connections are complicated enough but then we decide to one-sidedly fancy someone and birth a love triangle. Not like we decide it anyway, to some extent you don't decide who would reciprocate your feelings. They are formed with or without your consent.
A love triangle revolves around three people. I have to say, almost everyone I know has been in one including me (sadly my feelings were mostly one-sided growing up).
It's when person A likes person B but person B likes person C, to now complicate the issue completely Person C now likes Person A. Talk about crazy.
I have this auto search thing in my head for love triangles when I read a book or watch a movie. I start to look for possible triangles and I used to get real excited when I spot a love square. I would squeal and make sounds along the lines of 'Awwwwn' to show my excitement and eagerness for what was to come. I used to get disappointed when I read books that don't have this triangle.
A love square revolves around four people, two men, and two women. This is when person A likes person B and person B likes person C and person C likes person D and person D likes person A, talk about complicated.
Most movies and dramas portray love triangles, especially Korean dramas. The heroine of the book likes a guy at first, probably for years or months, without confessing her feelings, and the guy she likes probably likes someone else or is in a relationship. The writers will then introduce a character:the hero, who will like the heroine. There are various ways this could go but these are the major cliché plotlines I could think of at the moment:
1) The hero discovers the heroine likes the other guy and they plan to fake-date to help her get over him and end up falling in love, they deny it at first but later end up dating for real.
2) The hero is the other guy's friend that has been in love with the heroine for years without her knowledge, she probably asks him for help to get together with the other guy and falls in love with the hero instead and discovers he's her one true love.
3) Or the heroine tries to get over the other guy, goes to a club, gets drunk, and sleeps with the hero only to later discover that the hero is the other guy's close friend. She, of course, tries to convince him to keep the fling from his friend and promises to do anything, he then asks her to pretend to be his girlfriend for a while because of his family or to avoid going on a blind date. They keep it up for a while and discover they have feelings for each other and drama ensues and they finally decide to date for real.
4) Or our heroine and hero like each other very much and break end up breaking each other's heart and the other guy or girl that likes the heroine or hero gets heartbroken when the hero and heroine get back together.
The drama before the hero and heroine get together could be that the heroine discovers that the other guy liked her all along and became jealous or the other guy really didn't like her that way because he was used to her being by his side until she wasn't and he discovers that he liked our heroine and tries to get her all to himself.
Our Heroine picks the hero as she admits that she has never loved anyone as she loved the hero and that she thought she was in love with the other guy but she wasn't.
That's just a typical drama triangle, **A real triangle would just involve you liking someone, the someone liking someone else and you moving on. The someone else might be jealous or not. Mostly not though cos they never liked you. No one agrees to fake date you in real life.**
As Nigerian men think, there are plenty of fishes in the sea, no one pines after someone for years anymore, if you reject them, they move on, much to the dismay of the person playing hard to get.
Thus love triangles in movies and books is greater than love triangle in real-life.
Maybe it isn't, this is just based on what I've experienced.
Have you been in a really crazy love triangle before? The one that'll give kdramas a run for their money.
If you have, please share it below.
It's been a long while, if you read this article, thank you. I appreciate you dropping by despite my inconsistencies. I promise to be consistent soonest.
@Jumper-01 Thank you for still sponsoring me, God bless you.
Thank you for reading🤗
April 8, 2022
©Deeepensiverse.
Valentine's gifts
Lead image by me.
Well, Well, Well.
Monday was valentine's day and I have a lot to say about it.
**History of Valentine's day**
Valentine's day named after Saint valentine is a day where candies, gifts, and flowers are exchanged between loved ones all around the world. The reason why St. Valentine was associated with love is based on 3 different rumors according to this: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.history.com/.amp/topics/valentines-day/history-of-valentines-day-2
**The first** is the legend that contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers secretly. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.
**The second** is that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured.
**In the third** legend, an imprisoned Valentine sent the first “valentine” greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl, possibly his jailor’s daughter who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed “From your Valentine,” an expression that's still used today.
Valentine's day now
Celebrating Valentine's day where I reside can be summarized in two words: oppression and intense fornication. This year's valentine's celebration was no exception.
I meant oppression in the sense that, the bar for gifting is raised every single year, people gift really expensive items that make even those who received gifts exclaim 'God when?' and then followed by customary *mating* in booked hotels and suites, I confirmed this since my hostel was scanty that night, unlike the normal rowdy movements.
As early as 8 am, we witnessed dispatch riders delivering valentine packages much to the dismay of single people who shouted both in real and faux excitement as some were genuinely happy while some were bitter. I won't blame them, Single people were shaded a lot during the period, there's even this yearly valentine's anthem for single people which goes:
*'Valentine is coming, where is your boyfriend/girlfriend? You're sitting at home, lonelyyyyyyyy'*
So, I can't really blame the bitter ones, the hate was just too much.
I even saw a post about a man that bought all the even-numbered seats at a movie theater just so couples won't be able to seat together. That level of pettiness is fueled by bitterness.
So, valentine's gifts. I saw so many gifts on Monday as I've seen in previous years and I've classified it into four in my head.
****1) Monetary gifts****: did someone say money? I love money, who doesn't? this kind can even come in money cakes; the type where mint notes are stacked on top of one another, I love this. Transferring it to my account is also perfect.
****2) Thoughtful gifts****: this is a very special category as most people don't really think it counts. Give me a note on 5 things you love about me, write a love note on some of the memories we have together, little things that will make me blush, this is the category of the saying 'it's the thought that counts'. Just little things that make me "awwwnn" happy that you thought of me.
****3) Practical gifts****: practical as the word implies, things I can put to use, give me those cute sneakers, that wig, that sparkly bracelet, that shiny necklace and earrings, things that I use and think of you. I love this category too.
****4) Non-practical gifts**** (for lack of a better word): this is my least favorite. In this category are gifts like my framed picture or my picture on a frame and my picture on a pillow. No offense to people who like it but this is just my personal opinion. I just feel it's overpriced and I think I feel this way because of this stage of my life, maybe I'll see the importance as I get older.
What do you think of the classification of gifts?
Which is your favorite?
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©Deeepensiverse
February 17, 2022.
Social Media vs Real life
Lead image by me.
**Deeepensiverse signs in**
The first article of the year, I'm sorry, I just find it really hard to balance my classes with other activities. My lectures are draining me and in my free time, all I do is eat or sleep (well, I eat and sleep, food has a way of making me sleepy).
Well, I had no class today and instead of reading in preparation for exams, I spent my entire day watching vlogs on YouTube. I'm not sure I regretted it because I loved the way I felt, the emotions that surfaced as I watched them, the '*awwwnn*' i made at intervals clearly showed how much I enjoyed gushing 0ver the videos.
I'm a romantic, at least I think I am. I love love, I'm a sucker for love, I love seeing people love and I'm a big lover. Watching people act all cute and mushy activates my *mushiness*.
The videos I watched were about a particular media personality, I loved her vlogs, I love her vlogs, she's a pretty popular YouTuber and she vlogs about her lifestyle.
She has this really handsome husband that cares for her (we don't really see much of him, he only shows up a few times), they started dating in her second year in the University, she was 19 at the time. They got married when she was almost 24. The wedding ceremony was dreamy, it was this unique garden wedding. She has a daughter now, a very cute baby.
You know the way we all loved watching Cinderella as kids? At least I did until I grew up and realized that Cinderella was a fairy tale character that didn't even live in the same world I did.
I think she's like my type of fairy tale that makes so much sense. We lived in the same country, I'm attending the school she went to. It makes so much sense to wish for the good things she has.
This is where reality comes in.
We live in a society where almost everything on social media is faked up to 90%, a society where pictures posted on social media are edited to perfection, we can't even be sure that there's one real thing there. It's so sad that we have to second doubt everything we see or we're told. People spend so much money trying to prove that they're rich rather the being rich.
When I talk about my favorite *YouTuber*, my friends keep reminding me that it might all be staged and it might not be real. A friend of mine just reminded me a few minutes ago when I was gushing over her that it's probably not real and that it might be good acting skills. I know these things but I just still hope that it's all real, I want to grab unto something, an affirmation that it'll be better for me in the future, a craving of what's to come.
I still can't help but wonder why people go to lengths to impress other people, tell lies, and keep up with a kind of lifestyle just to be seen a certain way.
I just can't understand but I guess it's the way of social media, it's not supposed to be real yeah?
We're all supposed to have this fake life or a representation of a life we hope to have yeah?
I just find it hard to understand.
Some just take calculated steps to trend on social media or post something for clout, is it all worth it?
What do you think of my thoughts?
What are your thoughts on this?
My sponsors.
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I've been really unable to write anything, It's school induced writer's block, I've not really had time to write, read novels or watch movies which are my three favorite things to do and as I said earlier I eat and sleep in my spare time😩😩
Thank you for reading🤗.
©Deeepensiverse.
January 18, 2022.
2021-My Ws and Ls
Lead image by me.
**Deeepensiverse signs in**
Last day in 2021, I can't believe it. To me, 2021 felt rushed. It was filled with so many events but It felt like I experienced it on fast forward. I just want to write about my **W**in**s** and **L**osse**s** from January to December of 2021.
**January** 2021 was a month I looked forward to in 2020 because I had been working at this beauty salon since October 2020. I had no time for anything, I was looking forward to leaving. Another happy moment was when ASUU called off the 9 months strike, I was happy I could finally resume school.
I can't remember anything significant that happened in **February** but I think I was reading for exams.
I wrote my exams in **March** and it was online. There was proctor wahala this time around. I wrote about it here. The time a proctor wanted to flag me for examination malpractice when I did nothing wrong. https://read.cash/@Deeepensiverse/the-system-isnt-just-fair-7d09681f
**April** was nice, I was mostly preparing for resumption which was in May.
I loved the month of **May**, apart from the fact that it was my birth month, I loved the fact that I went back to the hostel after more than a year. My birthday was on May 11 and we resumed May 10. I enjoyed my time with friends. Do you know how it feels to not see your friends under circumstances you can't control? I received a lot of hugs and gave a lot too. I also heard a lot of 'you've added weight'. let's face it, it's hard not to add weight when you're just at home, doing nothing.
I feel bad I can't remember anything significant that happened in **June** and **July**. I was in school and probably followed the routine of waking up - taking my bath - going for classes or sleeping in when I don't have morning classes - hanging out with my friends some evenings or reading school books or reading novels. I don't have an active social life, I would rather read novels PR watch movies than hang out with a bunch of strangers.
**August** started annoyingly, I was preparing for exams when we suddenly had a Covid-19 outbreak in my school, several students were confirmed positive and we were sent the next day to continue online classes from our homes, I didn't like that. August became exciting when @Greatwolfman introduced me to read.cash. I was excited to start my journey here.
In **September**, we went back to school for exams under supposed strict COVID-19 protocols, I got to stay in the same room with my friends because the exams were in batches. It made reading slightly bearable for me and it kept everyone on their toes. Exams were filled with sleepless nights and caffeine, I abused caffeine a lot. I also started my internship in September.
**October** was eventful, I had to look for a way to juggle writing on read.cash with my internship, it was crazy how I managed it.
In **November**, I finished my internship and resumed back to school. The whole hostel balloting *wahala* and looking for bed space, the search was stressful but I'm happy I was able to sort things out.
**December** started amazingly, our exam results were compiled and the broadsheet was released, I was happy. It was a big win for me this year, the caffeine overdose paid after all. I had big plans for December, you know, *Detty* December and all but I didn't end up going anywhere, I feel my friends jinxed it, I told them my December was going to be dirty and they laughed in my face. I also met people I knew on read.cash when we did Bitcoincash Unilag hang out. It was entertaining, I must say.
In Summary, 2021 had many Ws and Ls, some I can't even remember, some that's a bit awkward to share. I met so many people, made so many friends, cut off toxic people too, and yes, I loved in 2021 too, I loved hard.
Some say 2021 was a bad year for them but for me, it was entertaining, productive, and full of lessons. I learned a lot this year, I learned how to monetize what I could do(read.cash), It made me learn more about balancing my interests and I hope 2022 does better.
They are the best,
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Happy new year in advance 😁😁.
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Thank you for reading🤗🤗.
©Deeepensiverse
December 31, 2021.
My Christmas story- #BCHNigerianForumXmasChallenge.
Lead image and other images from unsplash.com.
**Deeepensiverse signs in**
*Play me 'Joy to the world'*
December is usually accompanied by the celebration of Christmas, the green and red-themed celebration.
Christmas- the eight-worded goodness, simply put. I don't think I've ever been so happy to celebrate something routinely. I doubt if Christmas for me was that much different from any other person, I guess it was the memories I looked forward to each year when I was younger. I always expected the celebration each year to outdo the previous one.
Christmas brought out the decorator in me. I absolutely loved decorating our apartment, the Christmas tree, lights, decorations. I was the unpaid interior decorator and I loved every minute of it.
Christmas for me was one of those times I was assured of new dresses, I love new clothes. Christmas presented the opportunity to get new attire. We had at least two new clothes, one for Christmas and another for the new year. This made me love Christmas. Did I forget the new shoes?
Did I mention I always made Christmas hair too? Oops, I didn't. Well, I did. The new clothes had to be paired with a new hairdo.
Another thing about Christmas was the food. Jollof rice and the peppered chicken was something we all ate but it hits different when it's actually for Christmas. The season actually spices up the food. We also cooked fried rice, beans amongst other dishes.
I also loved the feeling of togetherness, my extended family and I hung out on Christmas day, we usually eat and talk. I get to see my cousins after months of not communicating, it's usually fun in some weird kind of way.
What is Christmas without the carols? I attended a lot while growing up, I'm sad I only attended one this year. What's the Christmas period without the songs? I'm proud that I still remember most of the lyrics to the Christmas hymns. I remember my secondary school, I went to a Baptist School. We always sang hymns every Friday and we switched to Christmas-themed ones around December. Singing the hymns then made my Fridays.
I also looked forward to the gifts, in secondary school, my friends and I also exchanged gifts. I remember getting perfumed body sprays, watches, sandals, and various other gifts. I also remember how hard I thought of what to give my friends, it was usually stressful because I always worried about getting the right thing.
I remember when my mom would take me and my sisters out for a Christmas celebration, we always went to a different place each year. We went to different amusement parks, restaurants, malls.
I wrote about my memories because I couldn't believe I'm not even remotely hyped about Christmas this year. I didn't make any attempt to make my hair or do anything. I didn't even wear red clothes or wear a Christmas-themed cap to the Christmas carol I went to.
I thought about my Christmas memories during the carol when I saw Santa Claus dancing with little children and I thought "I was once like them, drunk in the season of Christmas".
I even shuddered a few days ago when I thought of how stressful tomorrow will be, I'll probably be the one cooking the food. Hopefully, I find a way to escape it, the only good thing that comes out of cooking is that I get to eat to my fill.
The worst part is I've not even watched any Christmas-themed movie, there are lots and lots of them out now. The cliche ones where they go back to their towns and reunite with their first loves and realize that they are happier there at that moment than they've ever been.😅
My best memories came from my younger years, I'm sure we all had crazy Christmas memories growing up. I remember how happy I was then, the joy I had celebrating it. So maybe I'll go out to celebrate the season for the first time in five years, even if it's a cinema or a Mall. I plan to awaken the Christmas spirit in me. Maybe I would make my hair too. Maybe I'll wear new cloth for Christmas too.
A lot of maybes here, hehe.
But I'll definitely write about it if I end up doing anything I enjoy.
In the spirit of Christmas, I need to go and prepare my cookies and milk for Santa Claus in anticipation of my gifts😁
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Merry Christmas and happy new year in advance.
Thank you for reading🤗
©Deeepensiverse.
December 24, 2021.
@ErdoV, I woke up to see that you renewed your sponsorship, thank you 😁
Insecurities.
Lead image by me.
**Deeepensiverse signs in**
We all have insecurities; those features we have that make us feel inadequate, that quality that crumbles our self-confidence every time we think about it. It could be your height; you wished you were way taller, it could be your weight; your self-confidence dwindles as you think about the folds at your back and your stomach, your arm fat that gets in the way of wearing that nice armless top you got months back. It could be your stretch marks that seemed to appear on every part of your body. You probably wished you weren't skinny, your thin legs that you try so hard to hide, or wearing brassieres with foam because you feel your boobs are minute, or you avoided situations that made you not wear brassieres because your boobs aren't the standard perky ones.
It could be the size of your weeny that made you opt for enlargement creams which only seemed to drain your pocket rather than cause an increase in the supposed area. It could be your looks; you wished you were lighter in complexion, you wished you had smaller eyeballs or a smaller nose, a bigger lip, or that perfect hairline unlike yours which seemed to recede more every single day.
You wish you had money, they say money makes the ladies flock around you. You couldn't change your features but you could at least throw money around to be accepted and your lacks ignored.
We all hear motivational speakers talk about how embracing insecurities are vital and it shouldn't make us feel less of ourselves. We should stay strong despite the insults that might be hurled at us.
I agree with them, we should really do that but when are we going to talk about the real problem?
The bullies especially internet bullying, is famously called trolling. You would know what I mean if you use Twitter.
These people hurl insults and pick out faults in people bits by bits without regard for their feelings. Sometimes, I get the urge to shout "Do you realize you're talking to a human being with feelings? Not a doll"
All those slight comments you make jokingly actually hurt, they take a toll on their self-esteem. I know how this feels because I had a really low self-esteem growing up, comments made by people about my looks made me self-conscious a lot, I wanted to look a certain way and have a certain type of body.
It affected my confidence, I would always stammer when I spoke in public, I would always doubt myself. I would say to myself "Dee, you aren't this, you aren't that"
It took years for me to get over it and right now I'm in the process of building my confidence.
You have no idea how that slight comment can shatter a person. Preying on a person's insecurities isn't fun, it isn't being Savage, it's just being insensitive.
Sometimes, I see people make certain comments about me, I look at them and see various things I could make fun of about them but I just laugh it off because it's so not worth the disgusting way I feel after that.
When I was ten, I had just finished primary school and was attending a tutorial to prepare for secondary school. There was a boy there who usually picked on me, calling me blackie and hurling insults at me. I knew who he was, we both did, he was the son of one of the cleaners at my primary school, I guessed he probably lied about that in the tutorial centre. I felt it was stupid of him to insult me when he knew I could tell everyone who he was and he would be laughed at. The boy continued and I just swallowed it all in, there was a day that he went over the top, I got angry at him and reminded him that he shouldn't insult me when he was just a cleaner's son. They jeered at him, he looked at me spiteful and never talked to me again.
I thought he had it coming but then I regretted it a lot, I kept thinking about it. I wished I could rewind time so that I would ignore him and deal with the hurt by myself as usual.
He reported me to his mom, of course, and she told my mom. I apologized but I still wasn't sure if I did the right thing.
Rather than pick out people's insecurities, let's make conscious efforts to compliment someone from today. Let's make someone smile, "Hey, you look beautiful today". It won't take anything from us. Let's do better.
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©Deeepensiverse
December 12, 2021.
Nostalgia - the workplace version.
Lead image by me.
**Deeepensiverse signs in**
Life is vastly complicated. It's confusing when one moment we want to depart from somewhere, we want to have nothing to do with that thing or place then the next minute, we're missing the thing or place.
**I remember** how eager I was to leave the company I was interning at. I would tell my friends how little I would miss it but I find myself rethinking that every time I passed the road that led there.
**I remember** how hastily I prepared for work to get there before 8 am. On days I woke up later than I usually do, I would take a motorcycle and hoped the rider would take it easy but it seemed that the more I told them to slow down, the more reckless they moved. I stopped hounding them to slow down and just prayed for a safe journey instead but on the brighter side, I got to work faster.
**After surviving** the scary attempts of the motorcycle riders, I had to go through traders. The research institute was around a popular market called 'Yaba'. If you frequent that area, you'll relate to the usual hustle and bustle of the area. Many of the traders tried to get people to patronize them by cajoling them. They cajole people by touching their hands to drag them to their wares with mild force. I've been on the receiving end of this and it's not even funny. I think the government should look into this. It even gets worse when you refuse to patronize some of them and they verbally harass you by commenting on the size of your derriere and how flat it is. Basically, body shaming you, I've also been on the receiving end of this, I was extremely pissed.
**As if that wasn't enough**, many Hausa men exchanged Dollars for Naira and bought gold. They always shouted, "Dollar, gold". I was initially pissed but later on, I embraced it so when they asked how many dollars I wanted to change to naira, I would say " Don't worry, when I have money, I will come" and we'll both laugh.
**I remember** this Automated Teller Machine(ATM) at the market square that I frequented, it always rejected my card, stating that I should reposition myself. I would tiptoe to use the ATM and after several attempts, it would work out and I would excitedly exit leaving other users that the machine refused to pay. I'm not short BTW, I'm 5'4, I'm the same height as most of my friends so I like to think I'm as tall as the average girl.
**I remember** my Akara(bean cake) Vendors. Most times so I don't get to work late, I don't take breakfast at home. I just take a few slices of bread from home and buy Akara to go with it. I even had options, there were two different places I could get it, one was owned by a man the other one was by a woman. I preferred patronizing the woman because hers was bigger, cheaper, and tastier.
**I remember** my fruit vendor, she used to give me and my friends two for the price of one. She knew us as her faithful customers who bought pawpaw almost every day.
**I remember** the stalls I promised to visit before I finished my internship. I never got to buy anything from them, there was this particular jewelry stall that I promised myself to patronize. The day I wanted to buy something, the stall was closed. Other days, I was probably pissed or there wasn't enough money with me.
**Note**: whenever you pass 'Yaba', do not and I mean do not linger openly on any stall if you aren't ready to buy anything. Just stylishly look at it out of the corner of your eyes and do not hold the trader's gaze. I'm talking from experience y'all.
**I sometimes** hate the fact that I feel this way, it can be unsettling. I passed the route lately and I felt this weird tingling in my chest, a reminder of how much I missed the whole hustle and bustle. There are so many things that I think about and make me miss the institute but these are the ones I can remember right now.
You can share your experience with the place you swore never to miss in the comments section😊.
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©Deeepensiverse.
December 10, 2021.
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Pregnancy test
Lead image by me.
**Deeepensiverse signs in**
No, it isn't what you think, I promise.
Random thoughts that appear at random times can be really scary. Today was eventful, I'm writing this article while making my hair.
I woke up this morning feeling energetic mostly because I slept early yesterday, I was very tired. I slept around 10:30 pm which is early for me cos I sleep later than that normally.
I went to church when for a special program this morning and while we were praying, I saw a pregnant woman enter the church and I remembered the time I took a pregnancy test.
So a few weeks ago, I talked with a nutrition expert, I did some tests and discovered I had some nutritional deficiencies. It wasn't anything serious, it just required taking supplements and eating healthy but she asked me to do some tests at a hospital, and to do those tests at a cheaper rate I needed to be referred by my university's medical center so I had to see the doctor.
This was very frustrating for me but I felt it could have gone worse since there weren't a lot of people as opposed to times I went there during the school session. It was usually so stressful then, even the amount of people on the queue would tire you out.
The first thing that frustrated me was that they couldn't find my medical file. I frequented the centre a lot and that was the 2nd time that was happening. They put me through stress, delayed me, and finally resorted to opening another file for me(this could have been done earlier). My medical records vanished with the misplaced file. I just kept thinking 'why me?'. The people that got there later than I left me there.
I finally got to see the doctor. I explained what was wrong and the need for a possible referral and she felt the need to lecture me on the unimportance of the referral. I wondered what the essence of the lecture was as she could have just said no. I was tired at that point and wanted to leave but she started filling the referral form for me. Guess she saw the need for one after all which made me think 'if you were going to do it, why prolong the process and waste both our times?'
She told me that I needed to do a test immediately at the centre and that she needed the result before I left there even though she already referred me.
I got to the lab and gave the lab attendant, after looking at the test slip, the first thing he asked me was "are you a student?", I affirmed and he looked at me weirdly. The only thing I saw on the slip that I knew was a 'urine test'. He told me to urinate in a tube. He said to come back for the result in an hour.
When I did go back to get my result, the doctor was gone. I had to join the queue for another doctor to attend to me.
When I sat down, the first thing he said was "It's negative, you aren't pregnant"
I was like "what?". I'm not sure if you can understand what was going on in my head.
And he said, "You know she sent you to do a pregnancy test right?"
I said "No" and he said "Well, it is, you can leave now"
I wasn't even surprised it was negative, I would only be surprised if it was positive. The only chance of that happening now was if I was chosen as the next mother of Jesus Christ, the next Mary.
I was talking to my friend at that moment and told her about the whole ordeal, then she asked "let's assume it was positive, what would you have done?"
So many trains of thought ran through my head.
I didn't even want to assume or imagine it, it would not have been the end of the world but then I still didn't want to imagine it. My parents would kill me. Not literally though but still equally terrifying.
Well, I didn't tell my parents because it'll lead to questions that I'll be reluctant to answer. You know how Nigerian parents use every single opportunity to ask questions, they'll start asking questions like "who's your boyfriend?" "When will he come to visit us?"
It can be frustrating looking for ways to evade those questions.
Well, that was it, I wanted to share this experience with my read.cash friends. I laughed while writing this. I hope you enjoyed it.
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©Deeepensiverse.
December 4, 2021.
Is it all in the past?
Lead image by me.
**Deeepensiverse signs in**
'It's all in the past' but is it?
I'll answer this question based on what I think.
The past.
The past refers to events that have already taken place. Something that has already happened. I think the past very much plays a role in our present or future.
For example, in research methodology, we do what is called 'literature review' which entails looking at past works of people who have done similar works to your intended research topic and looking for research gaps which can then be your research aim.
The relevance of the past
I know that judging people based on what they've done in the past is wrong because some might have made decisions that they regretted, we've all made decisions that we regret but then I've seen people make certain decisions, act careless with certain things, and come out to say it's in the past and claim to say they've changed.
I don't believe people change.
I've also heard people claim that the present only matters and that the past is in the past and should be left there. I don't quite agree with that especially when most of those events are intentional.
Do you think the past matters in your present or future?
Yes? No?
Hold that thought.
'What prompted this topic?' You might wonder.
My case study.
I had a conversation with my friend one time, she said she didn't believe in throwing all caution in the air, she meant living all your life fully in terms of sexual liberation before settling down, it was bound to catch up with you one day.
Citing this popular Netflix series 'Sex and life'. It tells the story of a young mother with two children living a stable life with her husband. Her life was enviable to some but she was bored.
She was bored because before she met her husband, she had wild relationships but she was mostly heartbroken at the end of it all. She said she had done about 73% of the styles in the Kamasutra unlike in her marriage where intimacy seemed like a routine. She was used to everything wild so the routineness of it bored her. She wanted spontaneity. She had been heartbroken when she met her husband, she was tired of men that broke her heart, he offered stability, and she took it.
That kind of life would have been normal for some except that she had experienced a lot. She cheated on him and he found out but forgave her and tried to be wild as she wanted but it never worked out and she still cheated. Some things aren't just meant to be.
The same goes for guys who say they want to live their best life before getting shacked down by the chains of marriage but end up unable to be faithful. Their past events end up interfering with the present.
My thoughts
This doesn't only have to do with relationships, in our day-to-day activities. Our past helps to shape us, our past actually matters. That's why I feel we should be intentional about our actions. We should make efforts not to do things that we'll be ashamed of for years to come, at least in things we can't control.
Is it all in the past? I know people that their past caught up with them. The little act of stealing that put them in trouble, the harmless flings they had, the manner they approached people affected some things in their lives positively or negatively.
This is why I consciously do anything these days, I am very intentional in my actions, I know the things I do now make up my past someday. I avoid certain things and gatherings because I don't want them to be part of my past later in the future.
I was talking to @Greatwolfman today, I firmly believe that people don't change as I stated earlier but then the conversation made me realize that maybe people do change, maybe it isn't all that noticeable but being intentional about decisions and the kind of value we choose to instill in ourselves can go a long way in making us better people, with time we'll see that positive change.
What do you think of my thoughts? Do you agree differently? You can share your thoughts.
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They sponsor me even though I don't publish an article every day, I wish I could but then it's either the power company cuts off the supply for days and I'm left with a flat battery or I'm swamped with chores or I have this neverending headache or I have this crazy mood swing but I'll do better. I promise you that.
Happy December 😁
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©Deeepensiverse.
December 2nd, 2021.
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder: fact or fiction?
Lead image by me.
**Deeepensiverse signs in**
'Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder' they say.
This signifies that beauty is subjective, this means that what I find beautiful depends on my personal opinion or taste.
But is it?
I think, these days beauty is more relative than subjective.
The subjective nature of beauty.
In the article I published a few days back, I wrote that I was going to share the content of the Korean drama I was watching. The title is "My ID is Gangnam beauty"
It tells the story of a young girl who was bullied since she was little because she was supposedly ugly. On getting admission to University, she decided to do plastic surgery and she became pretty and popular.
She had another problem again, it was pretty obvious that she did surgery hence the name "Gangnam beauty" because her face was too perfect to be natural. She had double eyelids that everyone wanted, the right size of the nose, right jaw. She looked like a typical girl that had done surgery.
There was this guy, he was the most handsome in their department, he knew her right from middle school when she was 'ugly' and had a crush on her then.
One time, when they started dating, he told her that he missed her old face. He said she looked cute. I think he was the only one that found her cute apart from her parents. She didn't believe him, she didn't understand how he could like the face she was mistreated for all her life but somehow he did.
The relative nature of beauty.
This simply refers to the way we judge looks these days based on other people. We rate people with fair complexion higher on the beauty chain because they are deemed attractive.
There's a standard of beauty and people are trying to meet up with it(i subconsciously do this).
****For women****, being curvy but slim is the new trend. To have a good quantity of derriere and boobs with a flat tummy and a nice shape is something most girls try to fit into. Being extremely fair is everyone's goal much to the bleaching cream companies' pleasure(or toning cream as they put it these days).
Being extremely dark is frowned upon by most so people do anything to stop their melanin secretion. I even heard that some jobs require light-skinned individuals only.
I'm very dark in complexion and I can't count the number of times people have suggested the lotion I should use to 'tone' my skin or blatantly asked me if I used charcoal in place of lotion but '*I get coconut head*' and refuse to do anything to jeopardize my melanin secretion.
****For Men****, short men are frowned upon, the tall men are smiled at. Then there's the issue of abs, the famed six-packs. Mostly, muscled men are rated higher and considered more manly. Men without beards usually are in sadness, I know people that have tried so many things just to grow beards because people with beards are supposedly more manly. Guys that have all these qualities accompanied with a fine face and money will definitely be popular and have their way with most women because that's the 'standard'
If beauty really is subjective, then it won't matter if the person you want or desire fits into any of the acclaimed standards. You would love them with all the flaws but that seems highly impossible.
So, maybe the subjective nature of beauty is just fiction, it's just something unreal.
Or maybe beauty is really in the eyes of the beholder and there's this particular thing we like in our love interest so much that it doesn't matter if they fit into the standard.
What do you think? Is it a fact or fiction for you?
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November 25, 2021
©Deeepensiverse.
Uncliché plots
Lead image by me.
**Deeepensiverse signs in**
I have to say, I've made various bad decisions growing up, I think it started from senior secondary, it was the cusp of online books for me. I was a sucker for cliché books.
The first online novel I read was from worldreader, I can't exactly remember the name or what happened but it was about a 16-year-old girl falling in love with an older guy, I think he was 18, then they sleep together and he proposes. It was a delight watching it at the time, I wasn't up to 16 then so I always wondered how my prince charming would approach me. https://www.worldreader.org/
WorldReader wasn't popular then so there were not many books there, I was pretty bored until I heard my classmates then talk about Wattpad and how they read this book called 'chasing red' by Isabelle Ronin. All I wanted to do was read the book. When I got back home from the hostel to prepare for a major external exam for University, I was in the school hostel at the time, I read Chasing Red. I don't know if I can replicate what I felt at the time. It was all shades of amazing, My expectations were getting higher then.
I then proceeded to read other Wattpad books, why stop at one when you can read so many?. I think the second book I read was titled 'the girl he never noticed' by Neilani Alejandrino. It was equally awesome, I think it was about a rude, rich, and handsome man that had this big company inherited from his father. He met this really poor and unattractive girl that made this mean cup of coffee and hired her to be his Secretary. They of course fall in love, the classic Cinderella story except Cinderella here had a child for the prince a couple of years back. I can't remember what happened in detail but I think that was the gist. Needless to say, they ended up together because Cinderella stories always favor Cinderella.
I think I read almost every bad boy book on Wattpad, my library was filled with books like the bad boy stole my bra, bad boy in glasses, bad boy's neighbor. It was mostly about the bad boy falling in love with the good girl and changing for her but there will be this bad girl of course that'll try to sabotage the whole thing but love always won. I had this bubble of expectations that time, I was waiting for my bad boy to sweep me off my feet, to take me on his motorcycle and tell me to wrap my arms around him, to be the focus of attraction of two guys because there's always this other guy that likes the girl, to be every girl's envy and be like 'I got the man', to take me on various adventures, to love only me and then we get married and live happily ever after.
I don't remember the point I stopped finding them interesting, I think I paused the kdrama phase then for the Wattpad phase, so I paused the Wattpad phase for the kdrama phase. Now that I think about it, I think it was because I was growing up, I started to see reality, I started to see things as they were.
I still read some bad boy books, those are more about character development than bad boy tendencies.
Uncliché plots
I read this book yesterday called 'Holding on' by joymoment on Wattpad, you can check it out here, I've read it before a while back but decided to read it again. She negated every cliche scene in a typical bad boy book on Wattpad, it is a really short book I had fun passing time with. https://www.wattpad.com/story/145686156?utm_medium=link&utm_source=android&utm_content=story_info
There's this broody, good girl that lived near a stereotyped bad boy, they don't end up together, it simply addresses stereotypes and how they can be wrong. It addresses how forever isn't certain because we really do not know if what tomorrow holds, dating since high school and getting married 6 years later is very uncommon.
I've been telling people these days, I want to read a book that the bad boy falls in love with the good girl acts like he's changed then breaks her heart into a fine powder, it'll be fun.
As I am now, I don't want a cliché bad boy, it's stressful, bad boys are toxic, Nigerian bad boys are worse.
The Stereotyped Nigerian bad boy
Nigerian bad boys don't have motorcycles or a really bad reputation. They're mostly light-skinned, I know @Jumper-01 doesn't agree but that's the stereotype, he wrote an article about misconceptions about light-skinned guys, you can check it out here, they can also be chocolate skinned, they're tall, they're smooth with words, flirty and have many female friends or presumably a 'cousin'. They'll have cars, they're chivalrous, they don't define the relationship, they are like 'let's just see how it goes' and probably be like that for 2 years, they get jealous a lot. https://read.cash/@Jumper-01/give-light-skin-a-chance-685c9277
This isn't me generalizing it, not all guys that have these qualities are 'bad boys' but bad boys have a majority of these qualities.
Did you ever have a bad boy phase like me?
Have you ever dated a stereotyped bad boy?
How did it turn out?
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November 24, 2021.
©Deeepensiverse.
My Sunday was...
Lead image by me.
**Deeepensiverse signs in**
'How was your day?' -a question that's broad and also short. When we're asked this question, we say fine mostly but it shouldn't be, I'm guilty of this with people I'm not necessarily close with. If we're close and you ask me how my day was and I'm not tired or in a bad mood, I'll send a voice note telling you what I did.
I wonder why most people have this automated reply to the question, it mostly goes like this,
"How was your day?"
"Fine and you?"
"Fine"
And that's all, whereas that question can be a great conversation starter. You can get to talk about various things just from that line.
I like people that really tell me about their day, as weird as it may sound, I prefer calls to chats because I hate typing, I love sending voice notes to my friends. I once sent a 6 mins voice note to a friend one time and that was me trying to shorten it. When I'm on a call with someone, I get to really express myself, express every single detail in the order in which I experienced them. When I'm on a call, I never run out on things to say, we just go on and on for hours till one of us gets tired.
I was in a bit of a dilemma this morning when I was thinking about what to write and I thought 'why not write about your day?' So here it is... I'm about to make you my call buddy and tell you every single detail of my day.
Let me assume you asked about my day, you said "How was your day, Deee?"
I woke up late this morning mostly because I slept late yesterday watching a Korean drama(by now you must know I'm a very big fan of Korean dramas), I knew I watched it excessively yesterday because I started watching it after I posted my article yesterday and I think I slept 2 am. I think I'm trying to watch as many movies as I can before school resumes fully and I no longer have time.
Well, by the time I woke up, it was too late to go to church so I did some chores and continued the series😂. I decided to make noise too as my friends would say😁, you can engage with me on noise.cash by clicking here. https://noise.cash/u/Deepensiverse
After a while, I started feeling vanished so I fried eggs and ate them with bread. Too bad I forgot to take the picture.
Do you feel like sleeping after eating? If yes, welcome to the club. If not, I guess I'm odd. I fell asleep after eating, I always feel lethargic after eating meals that aren't light but this time I slept. It felt like I slept even though it was for 2 hours, it was crazy.
You ever just have a random idea and just act on it immediately. When I woke up this morning, I didn't think I was going to make pancakes. It was spontaneous. I don't fancy taking flour that much.
I got my flour, milk, sugar, salt, eggs, baking powder, and vanilla essence ready. I didn't want to use a pancake mix.
I mixed the dry ingredients and wet ingredients separately. I poured them together and mixed them till it was smooth.
I didn't have a non-stick pan so I used a normal fry pan.
I was surprised by how full I was by the time I was done eating, I don't normally eat a lot. After eating, I continued my Korean drama as expected. I'm done with the sixteenth episode and about to start a new series. I'll tell you about the one I finished soon, so many mushy scenes that I cringed so much😬😬
Typical Dee.
I plan to sleep early today as tomorrow might be really eventful.
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November 21, 2022.
©Deeepensiverse.
Finally done!
Lead image by me.
**Deeepensiverse signs in**
Hello, read.cash community, I missed you guys. I hope you missed me too.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, my absence was unavoidable. I really wish I wasn't.
The past two weeks have been stressful, I can't stress the 'stress' enough.
I know you might have some questions for me, so I have drafted some questions you might have for me.
**QUESTIONS**
**1) Why have you been off read.cash for a while?**
Well, my supervisor came back and I couldn't write. I mentioned this in my last article, you can check it out here. https://read.cash/@Deeepensiverse/the-first-week-of-november-59d14e7c
I also had to prepare PowerPoint presentations for my experience at the institute and my seminar topic. My seminar topic was "The biochemistry of caffeine"
Simple right? Noooo
My supervisor said we couldn't just use any article on google, we had to read journals from google scholar, PubMed, etc. It was tough because the articles that I wanted were paid articles. I had to look for ones that weren't paid.
**2) Why were you scared? It was just a presentation.**
No, it's not just a presentation, the presentation would determine whether my logbook would be signed plus my supervisor knows everything about everything.
Some of my fellow interns presented facts they couldn't prove and she told them that they did rubbish. The embarrassment was terrible, you would not want to be on the receiving end of her wrath.
Our presentation about what we learnt at the institute was another scary thing. People that presented before she came back just read out from their slides but as soon as she came back, she said she was tired out the stories and that she would ask us questions based on what was in our slides.
We couldn't figure out where the question would be from, it was scary.
**3) How did yours go?**
Well, I have to say that my prayers worked. I prayed that God shouldn't let me embarrass myself there.
It was on Wednesday.
When it got to my turn, she had to leave so she told one of my fellow interns to ask me questions about my experience at the institute based on my slide. When she left, he asked me what I wanted to say, we were sort of friends.
I picked an experiment and talked about it, they asked me questions and I was able to answer most of them.
I already started my seminar presentation when she came back. She told the audience to ask me questions, most of which I answered. She appeared tired and announced a break without questioning me or poking anything I said. My friends told me I was lucky, I think it was just God.
I was so happy when I finished, it felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders, I was euphoric for the rest of the day even though I was tired.
**4) How are you now?**
Well, I am sick. I am typing this article with my nose blocked. I took caffeine to stay awake on Tuesday night( let's just say I used myself as a case study). I barely slept for an hour then I went to work.
I think that affected me a lot because I had a sore throat on Thursday and by yesterday it worsened to catarrh. I'm taking drugs and I hope to be fine soon.
**5) So, what next?**
I finished my internship yesterday because my school resumes on Monday and I hope to be active before school stress catches up with me.
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Have you listened to Adele's album yet?
You have, that's amazing.
You haven't, then you should.
©Deeepensiverse
November 19, 2021.
The first week of November.
Lead image by me.
We all have bad days, I had a couple of bad days last week.
I think the universe decided to make me irritated.
*The universe: Good morning forces, let's make Deee's week terrible.*
*Them: Good idea, what's the plan?*
*The universe: Firstly, let's make her supervisor resume work.*
My internship was for 3 months and would be ending next week because my school would resume on November 22nd.
Since I started the internship, I was informed of our strict supervisor who was currently on a field trip. They said she didn't give room for tardiness and disallowed using phones during work hours. She made sure IT students were always busy even though they already had a lot to do.
Her absence allowed me to squeeze time out of my already busy schedule to write articles for read.cash and engage on noise.cash.
She came back last week and I'm sad to say that the stories are true, she seized my phone one time but I managed to survive despite all.
*The universe:it seems Deee is surviving, let's frustrate all her efforts to get a new laptop's charger and battery.*
I must say, I was really frustrated. I have been pushing to get a new battery for my laptop for a while now but a few weeks back, the charger stopped working.
To get my internship form signed by the company, I must pick a topic of interest, research it and then present it alongside everything I learnt in the company. I already started working on my presentation when my charger stopped working.
I needed to get the charger last week to complete the preparation since I was presenting before I left.
I was sure that I was going to buy it last week Tuesday but the money I was expecting to complete the one I had with me wasn't forthcoming. I started to get scared, I was frustrated, it looked as if I wasn't going to be able to buy it last week. I knew that failure to buy it that week will result in incomplete preparation.
*The universe: looks like we finally made headway.*
*Them: what's the next step?*
*The universe: this is where technology comes in, I have invited her phone to this meeting.*
*My phone: it's not going to be easy but I'm sure I'll be able to develop something to frustrate her.*
Suddenly around 11 am on Wednesday, my phone just went blank and displayed "no command". I was tired, I needed the phone badly so I had to use part of the money I had set aside for my laptop's charger and battery to repair the phone.
*The universe: let's send some people to annoy her on her way to repair her phone.*
This guy started talking to me while I was on a bus, he started asking me why I was wearing a nose mask, he claimed there wasn't covid-19, he was about to go on and on about covid-19 conspiracies. I respectively told him to shove his opinions and that I was not in the mood. He started to insult me for being rude but I couldn't care less.
At that point, I felt like bursting into tears, I just went home and slept. I wondered what I did for all those mishaps to occur. I hoped I'll get everything sorted.
My grandma told me that everything was going to be alright and I believed her. I mean, I had little choice.
The next day, I got all the money I needed. I was surprised and so happy. I started working on the project over the weekend hence my inactivity on read.cash. The funny thing is that I'm not even halfway done but hopefully, I'll be ready before the date of my presentation.
**The universe: 2**
**God and I: 1000**
**Conclusion**
My point here is that if you're going through a very impossible situation, you feel like nothing is working out and you just feel tired, I urge you not to lose hope, hold on, believe everything will work out. It'll make sense in the end.
**MY AMAZING SPONSORS**
Please do check them out.
I use this opportunity to thank @BCHouseVE for sponsoring me. I really appreciate it
If you're on noise.cash, click here, let's engage. https://noise.cash/u/Deepensiverse
Thank you for reading 🤗
November 8, 2021.
©Deeepensiverse.
Susan's story #4: away from here.
Lead image by me.
This is the final part of this story, you can read the previous parts by clicking on the link below.
First part. https://read.cash/@Deeepensiverse/susans-story-1-what-ally-saw-b12b7e07
Second part. https://read.cash/@Deeepensiverse/susans-story-2-what-she-read-b7a25415
Third part. https://read.cash/@Deeepensiverse/susans-story-3-01fad0ae
**Susan's story**
The following week was filled with apologies, Dave sent flowers each day with a card, the card read beautiful poems of love. He called me every day and asked about my day. He told me about his day, every single detail.
Dave visited me unannounced the next week. He brought goodies that he knew I liked. He brought chocolates to my office one time, he bribed me with Chicken and Chips from my favorite place on an unannounced visit to my apartment.
We went on dates the third week, we went to the cinema and tried new restaurants. We hung out despite our busy schedules.
We were in 'the honeymoon phase'.
This went on for 2 months. On my birthday, Dave threw a surprise birthday party for me and proposed to me again. He got another ring, he said I deserved something better. The ring had this cute diamond, I loved it.
I threw all caution in the air, the next three months were the best months of our relationship, things went back to the way it was before the cheating scandal, only much better.
Wedding preparations began, my mom was so happy to plan this. My family met Dave's family officially even though I was already acquainted with some of them. This was called an introduction.
Our faces glowed, we were irrevocably in love.
We had everything all figured out, Dave wanted to sell his apartment to get a bigger place but I dissuaded him. He lived in a two-bedroom apartment which was big enough for both of us. Things were perfect, I couldn't wait for us to be together forever.
A week before the wedding, the girls had decided to treat me to dinner to celebrate my forthcoming wedding. They changed the restaurant last minute, Kiki hadn't confirmed the reservation. As I grumpily drove there, I considered texting Dave about the change of plans but decided to do that when I got there.
After I parked, I saw a familiar car opposite my parking spot. I got out of my car to confirm and I saw Dave coming out of his car.
"Babe, what are you doing here? You told me you had back-to-back meetings today" I asked.
"One of my clients asked me to meet him here, I was just about to head in. What about you? Did you follow me? You told me you're supposed to meet your friends at a different place" Dave said sounding edgy.
"Why would I follow you? Kiki forgot to confirm the reservation so this was the only place available on short notice"
"Why don't I believe you? It sounds like you followed me here. You still don't trust me, what else do I need to do to prove that it won't happen again" Dave accused, I couldn't believe my ears.
"Why do you sound so worked up? What exactly is going on?" I was confused, I didn't know why he was attacking me that way.
"I'm sorry, I just thought you doubted me"
"You don't have to worry about that, what happened is in the past now" I reassured him.
I was about to tell him that I had to go when I saw that his face turn white, it looked as if color drained from his face while looking behind me. I turned back to see a very curvaceous girl walking toward us.
All I could think was 'what is going on?'
She reached us and held Dave's hand. She glanced at me said "Who's she, Dave? Anyway I booked the hotel room already"
There was a hotel opposite the restaurant.
She sounded like she was marking her territory.
Dave just stared at me.
"I'm his fiancee, who are you?" I said raising my engagement ring.
"A**hole, you didn't tell me you were engaged," the lady said, slapped him, and stomped away.
"Babe..." He started to say and moved closer.
"DON'T, Don't you dare f*cking touch me!" I turned, entered my car drove away.
He cheated again, so much for change.
Moving on would have been so much easier without my mom, she allowed Dave and his parents into the house despite my pleas. I wished I hadn't left my apartment, I missed my privacy. Dave's mom said he was sorry and that it was a mistake. Dave said he was sorry, he said he didn't want to know what he was thinking.
When they left, my mom told me that when we got married, he would change. She claimed all men were like that, she said he was probably scared of commitment. She said we could not possibly cancel the wedding because of mere disagreement. The shame would be too much. She said the main thing was that he loved me.
I couldn't understand how cheating was a mistake, I couldn't understand how my happiness was worth less than the shame of canceling the wedding. I knew marriage couldn't make him loyal.
I couldn't tell my friends about this, I was sure they'll blame me for forgiving him the first time.
Dave called every hour to apologize, the sweet words he used started to irritate me. I didn't want to marry him anymore, I wanted to run but then I couldn't.
It was like I was shouting and no one seemed to hear my voice.
On the day of the wedding, my face was swollen, I couldn't stop my tears from flowing during the night.
I kept hearing the word 'run' in my head.
On the way to the church for the white wedding, I asked the driver to get something for me at a supermarket. Immediately he left, I ran out of the car and boarded the next cab I saw.
The cab driver asked me where I was headed, I said "away from here"
If you've read the article I published a while ago titled 'marriage worries me', you'll know that infidelity in marriage scares me. You can check it out here. https://read.cash/@Deeepensiverse/marriage-worries-me-84f79bb2
Sometimes people see some red flags before marriage but ignore them with the pathetic excuse that marriage makes everything better.
Some people are pressurized into certain marriages because of the society, they think "what will people say?"
We need to realize that most people don't change.
Sleeping with another person while dating another person isn't a mistake, it's very intentional. It doesn't happen on impulse.
At least Susan ran, if Susan hadn't run she probably would have:
Insecurity issues, she would have to live knowing that her husband possibly sleeps with another person. She would wonder why she wasn't enough.
She would have probably contracted an STD, maybe HIV from her husband due to his promiscuous activities.
She would have to accommodate another wife or other kids from another woman.
She would have been very unhappy.
***It's time to show off very important people, my sponsors***.
They're the best
Thank you for reading🤗.
©Deeepensiverse.
@Deeepensiverse
